Ack. That wasn’t what I meant at all. I furiously typed out another reply voicing my support for titles unless they didn’t want them.
“I love ‘bae,’” Ronnie was saying, “but at this point I think maybe white people should stop appropriating black culture. You know, as an experiment.”
Mase laughed. “Hey, at least white folks aren’t starting a billion dollar industry off ‘bae.’ But yeah. ‘Partner’ is good, but not casual. Do people use ‘significant other’?”
“I tried,” Mia said. “But it doesn’t exactly roll off the tongue.” She sidled closer to Ronnie. “I like ‘lover’ myself.”
Oscar made gagging noises.
My phone dinged.
I’ve talked about this on the show, but it was always general. I’m weirdly unprepared to think about it personally. I think...for something serious... I’d dig the term “companion,” like “long-term companion.” Sort of reclaiming something once used to diminish queer relationships. But “datemate” or “datefriend” or just “date” would probably make the most sense right now.
Oh wow. “Companion.” Um. The word shot glitter-sparks all down my spine. I bit my tongue. I agree. Variations on “date” for now (for both of us, please). “Companion” as a more, uh, settled thing. If relevant. Um. So. Yeah.
Mase poked me. “What’d they say?”
“We’re using ‘date’ or ‘datefriend’ or ‘datemate.’ Right now. While things are...casual.”
He pretended to swoon. “Your date, Sidney. God, that’s adorable. Sidney’s date. Awww.”
Ronnie and Mia added their awwws to the chorus.
I would have told all of them to shut up again but my phone dinged.
It’s a pleasure to be your datefriend, Declan.
I way-more-than-pretend-swooned. “I, um, really like them,” I said to my friends, and sent back, I am at your service, my date. Which was probably too much, but I...really, really liked them.
“Are they good at fucking, though?” Oscar said. “Because that’s important.”
Mase held up both hands. “That is private and we’re leaving Dec to it.”
Another round of awwws from the brides-to-be. Ronnie reached out to squeeze my shoulder. “That is super sweet.”
“I don’t know about that—”
“No, it really is,” Mason agreed. “But now the sweet part is over, get in there and make us dinner.”
I hid in the bathroom just long enough to text Sidney to tell them I’d made our sex life off-limits to spectators and I wasn’t sure why but it felt right. Plus a blushing emoji.
They sent back, That feels right to me too. Plus a blushing emoji.
Then I went and made dinner.
Everyone loved cauliflower crust pizza. Even Oscar.
* * *
The theme of the sleepover was “terrible wedding movies.” Our Family Wedding was the kind of terrible that you couldn’t stop watching, even as you were cringing at the “It’s okay I’m making a racist joke because I, too, am a person of color” punchlines. And also counted as rehearsal because that was so gonna be Mia’s dad in a week, making alllll the jokes and being like, “Look, I’m Korean, it’s okay.” We totally loved Mia’s dad, but wrangling him in company was going to be a whole thing.
Our second movie was 27 Dresses, which was a massive waste of Katherine Heigl, who everyone in the room except Oscar would so bang. Or like...have coffee with. Because she seemed awesome. And third wedding movie was actually breaking the theme, because The Perfect Wedding was a cute feel-good gay-boys-in-love story that had all of us awwwing by the end of it.
We took a break for dessert, which was chocolate fondue in white, milk, and peanut butter varieties, with a bunch of stuff to dip in it. Oscar and I had collaborated on the chocolates and Mase had brought the dipping stuff.
“You guys are the best,” Ronnie said happily, feeding Mia a white-chocolate-covered strawberry.
“We really are.” Mason made a big show of dipping a marshmallow, swirling it around somehow lasciviously. “Dec, should I cram this in your face like the two lovebirds?”
I stuck out my tongue at him. “Not unless you want me to bite your fingers.”
“Ooh la la, he plays mean. I’m into it!”
Oscar dipped three pretzel sticks, one in each chocolate, then ate them all at once. “White chocolate and peanut butter don’t really go together,” he concluded.
Mia leaned toward Ronnie and whispered, “I’m trying to make that into a race thing but I can’t make it work.”
“You can be my peanut butter anytime, baby,” Ronnie whispered back.
I booed. “Quit it, you’ll make me sick before the chocolate does.”
The fiancées exchanged suspicious glances. “So, um.” Ronnie frowned.
“Yeah, we...” Mia refilled her wine glass. “We just wanted you guys to know you mean the world to us.”
“Oh god.” Oscar appealed to Mase and I. “They’re about to get fucking sappy. Make it stop.”
“Don’t make me muzzle you,” Mase said. Then, to the ladies, “Go ahead, lovebirds.”
“We’ve been thinking a lot, you know, with all the stuff about my sister, and whether my parents will even show up, and how awful they’ll be if they do, and...” Ronnie wiped her eyes. “And anyway, it’s really important to me that all four of you know that you’re my family, and I appreciate it so much. And I’m so, so glad that I happened to luck into having you as a roommate freshman year, Oscar.”
“Oh Jesus fucking Christ, come here.” Oscar sighed heavily and gave Ronnie a huge hug. “Like you could ever get rid of me. You’ve been stuck with me since that day you called in sick to Latin when I was super hungover and nursed me back to health.”
I nudged Mason. “Hey, remember that day I was super hungover and you stood beside my bed and taunted me with burritos that made me want to puke? That was real sweet too, Mase.”
“I’m pretty much the best.”
We grinned at each other.
Mia, now also teary, sniffed. “Also we thought this would be a good time to say you guys are collectively in charge of my parents, so make sure they don’t do anything embarrassing.”
Mase shook his head. “I can’t tell your dad to stop cracking Korean jokes. He loves making people uncomfortable.”