‘What if she says she doesn’t want to come back and talk to me?’ Cathy shook her head. ‘If I go then she’s got no choice but to talk to me.’
‘She can run off again.’
‘She can – that’s true, but I can at least try. Let me do that at least. I’ll clean up the rest of this when I get back.’
‘Tansy can clean the rest of this,’ he said firmly.
‘So this field,’ Cathy said, ‘how do I find it?’
Twenty-Nine
It took only a matter of minutes to get there. Cathy’s mind raced as she walked, wondering if she would find Tansy there, wondering how she’d open this conversation, whether she could say the right thing. Part of her wondered why she was bothering at all. Tansy clearly didn’t want to engage, and it almost felt like the harder anyone pushed to help her, the harder she pushed back against it. Perhaps she was beyond anyone’s help now. More importantly, perhaps she’d pushed it so far almost nobody wanted to help now. Cathy only knew that she wanted to try for Matthias’s sake, if not for Tansy herself. It was clear that he cared for her – as Erica did – and that to be a part of his life meant Cathy would have to be a part of Tansy’s in some capacity too, and it was better that they understood each other than constantly being at war.
The path that ran along the back of the old factory was overgrown but still just about visible. It had once been a railway line that had taken goods in and out of the factory compound, but the cuts of the sixties had closed it and seen the sleepers and tracks stripped away so that now only the ghost of the route remained. Most of the trees and shrubs that shrouded it from view were bare and dripping from a melted frost, but some were evergreens, leathery leaves still hanging from sturdy branches. Cathy was forced to move them out of her way every few yards, one occasionally catching at her foot where she hadn’t noticed it snaking over the path. She’d seen a couple of joggers, but apart from that it was deserted. Matthias had wanted to come with her but she’d asked him to give her at least ten minutes alone with Tansy, and then he could come to find them. She had the ringer volume on her phone whacked up high so she could hear it if he needed to call her and had assured him that if she was safe anywhere in Linnetford, it was probably going to be there.
The path gave way to a clearing and almost immediately Cathy saw the field. The horses were shaggy-haired and hardy-looking, with stocky legs and broad shoulders. Some were piebald with striking black and white markings, some with the same in brown, some almost entirely black or dark bay with the odd strip of white. There were perhaps a dozen of them wandering amongst the coarse grass of the site. Cathy wondered why someone would leave them to live here – it was hardly lush or sheltered – but someone had.
A second later, Cathy made out Tansy, standing at the chain-link fence and looking in. She had her back to the path and Cathy walked as quickly and as quietly as she could. If Tansy saw her coming she might not wait around to find out what she had to say.
But as she drew closer she could see that there was a horse at the fence and Tansy had her head close to it, staring intently at something. It looked as if her hands were working at something too, though Cathy couldn’t make out what. She looked to be concentrating so hard that Cathy wondered if she would have heard her coming no matter how much noise she’d made. In fact, she jumped as Cathy spoke.
‘Tansy…’
Tansy spun around to face her. ‘What are you doing here?’
‘I came to talk to you.’
‘I don’t have time for that.’
Cathy frowned as Tansy turned her back and started to fiddle at the fence again. Then Cathy realised that she wasn’t fiddling at the fence but at the horse’s mane. Somehow, it had got caught up and it looked as if Tansy was trying to free it.
‘Stupid…’ she mumbled.
Cathy could see that the horse was getting restless, starting to pull away, as impatient as Tansy was.
‘Need some help?’ Cathy asked.
‘No. I’ve got it. You’ll scare him.’
‘He’s scaring me,’ Cathy said. ‘I’m terrified of horses. I mean, I like them but they make me nervous.’
‘That’s stupid.’
‘It’s because they’re so big.’
‘These aren’t even big – they’re like ponies. They’re just doing their thing on here, not bothering anyone.’
‘What’s happened there?’ Cathy asked, nodding at the horse, though Tansy was still concentrating on her task.
‘It’s stuck on the fence.’
‘I can see that but how?’
‘I don’t know – it was like that when I got here.’
The horse blew out impatiently and stamped a hoof on the ground.
‘It’s getting pissed off,’ she said. ‘Going to pull a load of hair out.’
‘I think that’s the only way he’ll get free,’ Cathy said.
Tansy turned to her with a scowl. ‘That would hurt! Would you like it if I pulled a load of your hair out?’
‘No, sorry. I only meant I don’t know how you’re going to get it free – looks really stuck to me.’
‘Must have got it caught and then made it worse wriggling about or something. I don’t know how.’
There was a sharp whinny and Cathy could see that the horse was definitely getting more distressed. It was trying to pull away from the fence more violently now.
‘Shhh,’ Tansy whispered, a hand to the tip of its nose to calm it. ‘We’ll have you out in a minute.’
‘Keep him still,’ Cathy said, moving closer and rooting in her handbag as she did. She produced a manicure kit and took out the scissors.
‘What are you doing?’ Tansy asked, glancing down at them and then at Cathy.
‘I’m going to cut him free.’
‘I thought you were scared of them.’
‘I am. Just hold him still and I’ll take as little hair off as I can. If we can get the main knot then the rest might just come away.’
Tansy didn’t argue; she just moved closer to shield Cathy’s approach, whispering soothing words to the horse as she did.
Cathy’s heart was beating wildly, her legs suddenly weak. When she’d told Tansy that she was terrified of horses she hadn’t been lying. They’d always scared her – their size and their power – no matter how many times people had told her they were mostly gentle animals. And she could see why others loved them because she could appreciate they were beautiful… just as long as she was looking from a distance. It went against her every instinct to reach out now and grab the tangled mane. She worked as quickly as her trembling hands would allow, all the time the sound of the horse’s heavy breaths and the smell of its hair filling her head. She could hear Tansy talking to it, gently and calmly, and a little of that calm seemed to rub off on her too because, ordinarily, she’d have run a mile from this situation but today she carried on cutting.
‘There!’ she gasped finally as the final strand came free. She backed away from the fence and watched as Tansy gave the horse’s nose a final rub and stepped away too. The horse paused for a moment and, whether it realised it was free or not, started to walk away too as if nothing had happened.