‘I don’t think she has many,’ Cathy said. ‘I don’t know why.’
‘Even they can see she’s a miserable pain,’ Fleur said.
‘But at least I can see why a bit more now,’ Cathy said. ‘She is difficult to get along with but she’s been through a lot.’
Fleur nodded. ‘You don’t think her being a bit nicer to you is another plot to try to split you and Matthias up?’
Cathy shrugged. ‘I really couldn’t say but I want to trust her this time. Besides, what she told me about him… makes me think she’s only trying to protect him. They have a weird relationship when you think about it. She needs his help, and at the same time she needs him to protect her, but she feels like she ought to be protecting him too and keeping him safe. No wonder she’s messed-up; there’s a lot going on there.’
‘And her mum sounds about as useful as a chocolate fireguard,’ Fleur agreed.
‘I don’t know about that, but I’m convinced Tansy’s not going home any time soon.’
‘Which means you’ve got to put up with her.’
Cathy took a bite of her sandwich. ‘If I want to be with him, yes.’
‘Is he worth it?’
Cathy smiled.
‘I’ll take that soppy look as a yes,’ Fleur said, laughing. ‘Well, I’m glad to see you with someone who makes you look like that but I don’t envy you the rest of it.’
‘I’m sure it will work out eventually.’
‘What are you going to do about your fella?’
‘What do you mean?’
‘Are you going to tell him what his niece said about him? She could be making it up – after all, this is the first anyone has said about it. Even his sister hasn’t told you and she’s a good friend of yours.’
‘Maybe none of them liked to. It’s not the sort of thing you break the ice with, is it? How do you do? And by the way, I tried to kill myself once…’
‘I suppose not,’ Fleur said. ‘I still think it’s something you should have been told once you were getting closer to him. You’re sure this isn’t one of Tansy’s tricks?’
‘If you’d seen her face, you’d have believed her. And I think she loves him too much to make something like that up. I believe it – even though Erica didn’t tell me about that, she did tell me that he’d been pretty cut up after his split from his wife and that not seeing Beau hit him hard.’
‘I just hope for your sake he’s past all that now.’
‘Me too,’ Cathy admitted. ‘I really like him, Fleur. I don’t want to get this one wrong.’
‘If it does go wrong I’m sure it wouldn’t be your fault. As far as I can see you’ve been patient, the one to go the extra mile.’
‘Hmm. It wouldn’t be the first time I’ve done all that and still managed to cock it up,’ Cathy said.
‘Matthias seems like a very different proposition to your ex. Not that I know either of them well – it’s just my impression.’
Cathy swallowed a chunk of chicken she’d fished out of her sandwich. ‘Has Jonas…?’
‘Been to the stall?’ Fleur asked. ‘Not since the last time. Maybe he’s finally got the hint that you don’t want to speak to him.’
‘I haven’t seen him the last few times so I don’t think that’s it. I wonder if he was just coming by to see me for old times’ sake. You know, a trip down memory lane.’
‘He ought to be keeping his eyes on the lane he’s in now,’ Fleur said. ‘Stick to trips down today’s lane.’
Cathy couldn’t help but laugh lightly at the awkward analogy. ‘Well,’ she said, ‘whatever was going on, it looks as if he’s forgotten about me again.’
‘Don’t tell me you’re upset about that? You sound almost disappointed.’
‘Not at all!’ Cathy said. ‘Saves me a lot of stress.’
Fleur nodded. ‘Only, when he first came in I thought…’
‘I had feelings for him still? I suppose I might have done. It was the shock of seeing him more than anything, and I was feeling a bit low and vulnerable. I’ll admit for a while I thought about what it might be like if we got back together.’
‘I’m glad you weren’t daft enough to do anything about it then,’ Fleur said.
‘It wasn’t whether I was daft enough, but whether I was brave enough,’ Cathy said. ‘Turns out not being very brave might be a good thing after all – if I’d been a braver woman I might have.’
Fleur raised her eyebrows. ‘I’d stick to the not being stupid line if I were you.’
Cathy laughed again. ‘Maybe I will. Thanks for listening.’
‘I haven’t been listening for your benefit – there’s been nothing good on telly over the last few weeks. Got to be entertained somehow.’
‘Well then I’m glad to have been of service.’
Cathy popped the last of her sandwich into her mouth and screwed up the packaging.
‘So your little book is ruined then?’
‘Not quite but it’s not looking too clever. It’s funny; I was so upset at the time but it doesn’t feel important now. I feel a bit silly for making such a fuss; it’s only a book, after all. And not even a good one at that. Just a cheap exercise book filled with doodles.’
‘It meant a lot to you so it doesn’t matter that it’s a cheap exercise book.’
‘I’ll get round to writing all those recipes down again at some point, I suppose. As long as they’re in my head I can still cook those things.’
Fleur went off to the far side of the stall and reached into the space beneath the counter where they kept their belongings when they were working. A moment later she pulled out a flat package wrapped in thick paper. She brought it over and handed it to Cathy.
‘So you won’t be needing this, then?’
Cathy reached into the bag and pulled out a book. She stared up at Fleur. ‘What’s this?’
‘What does it say on the cover, Dumbo?’
The outside of the book was thick glossy paper. There was a photo of a cake and it read ‘Cathy’s Special Recipes’. Cathy didn’t know where the photo was from but it did look very much like a chocolate gateau she’d made and brought in to work a few weeks back, and the background appeared to corroborate that, as it was filled with flowers.
She opened it up and there were more photos, all of the same sort of phone quality, alongside recipes that she recognised as ones she’d written into her exercise book. Some of the photos had been taken in the same location as the one on the front; sometimes they were only slices of a cake but there was always a floral background. Cathy began to recognise each one as things she’d brought in for Fleur to try, though she had no idea when Fleur had taken the photos because Cathy hadn’t seen it happen. Not all of the pictures were from the stall though, but Cathy quickly began to recognise bits of background that placed them at cookery club, and some had backgrounds that she didn’t recognise at all.
Cathy flicked through, her mouth open and tears filling her eyes. ‘I can’t believe you got this done? How…?’