Part of me holds on to the thought of loving him. No matter how much I want to hate him, I can’t just forget what I felt for him—what I still feel for him.
Lost in thought, I don’t hear anyone approaching. The door flies open suddenly, and a little shriek escapes my lips.
“Shit, sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you,” Enzo says. He can’t be that sorry since he still closes the door behind him and steps further into the room. I notice him limping slightly, and I briefly wonder about his injuries.
I want to ask him, but not enough to actually do it. I’d rather be alone.
“Out,” I growl, shutting the book in my lap.
“No.” He shakes his head. “I’m done giving you space.”
“I’m not done needing space.” Narrowing my eyes at him, I jump off the bed.
Stripping off my shirt and shorts, I stand before him in my bra and panties. Keeping my eyes trained on his chest, I start to head into the bathroom.
Of course, Enzo steps into my way, cutting off the path.
“Amara, we should talk. Talk about everything.” His voice sounds off. So off that I can’t quite put my finger on it.
“Move,” I order, not letting him scare me.
“Please, just listen to me. You can’t avoid me forever.”
Looking up, my eyes snap to his. Then I realize why he sounds so off. It’s the same reason his facial expression is new to me.
Both his voice and his eyes are full of emotions. Something Enzo normally hides well.
But why is he in pain? He is the cause of all of this. He killed someone I loved, the man who raised me. So why is Enzo acting like he is the one grieving? Could he actually feel remorse over this? Or is he simply mourning the fact that he lost me?
“There is nothing to talk about.”
“I love you, Amara.”
“If you really loved me, you would have protected me from the agony of losing my father, not caused it. The pain I see in your eyes is for yourself. For once in your life, you did something you might actually regret. You did something that broke me and ripped me from you.”
Removing my bra and panties, I watch them fall to the floor, and his eyes grow wide with desire. The man I’ve loved is standing before me… I’m bare to him, not only physically. I can see the love and affection we share reflecting back to me in his eyes. Yet, I know I will never be enough.
“We can fix this, Amara. We can be whole.” His voice is pleading with me, like a man ready to fall on his knees. But there is no saving us after he shoved us headfirst into this world of blood. Once something is this broken, it will never be as strong as it once was.
Stepping past him, I walk into the bathroom, trying to close the door behind me, but Enzo pushes through. Ignoring him, I turn the faucet on to scolding hot and jump into the shower.
“I will not give you up, Amara. You knew my need for revenge was important. You knew if it came down to it, I would have to kill him. Look at what he did to you. Look at what he did to us—to me,” Enzo practically yells while taking off his clothes.
I turn away from him, facing the tiled wall while starting to wash my hair. For a moment, he is quiet, and all I hear is the sound of his clothes hitting the floor. Then, he’s slipping into the shower behind me.
Turning around, I smack him across the face. Hard. It takes him by surprise, but not me. I’ve been dreaming about hurting him, letting him feel my anger again, and again. To beat him to the bloody mess he has left my heart in.
His eyes grow wide for a moment in pure shock, and then he’s on me, his lips devouring mine. His arms engulf me, pulling me into his chest before he picks me up and slams my back against the shower wall.
I want to shove him away, want to scream at him to go to hell and to never touch me again.
But I don’t. Not because I forgive him. Not because I still love him.
No. Because I know this is the only way to make me stop hurting, even if it’s just for a little bit.
Hot water sprays down on us as I rake my nails down his back, making him bleed in the most sensual way. My teeth bite into his lips until I taste blood, and I revel in it.
“Hurt me, Amara. Make me feel whatever it is you want me to feel. I’m bared to you. I know I hurt you, I know I fucked up, but it had to be done. It had to happen—and while you hate me, you’ll move on and learn to deal with it. Death is the only thing promised in this life.”
“I do hate you,” I growl, pulling at his hair as he kisses my neck. My body tingles in unimaginable ways, washing away all the anger and sadness. I would never admit it out loud, but I need him. Right now, I need him like I need water to drink or the air to breathe.
“Then show me. Show me how much you hate me,” he whispers. His teeth graze my ear as his cock presses against my hot core.
With his hands wrapped under my ass, he presses into me. His cock promises me a million ways to forget, and I want to forget. I want to so badly. Letting the walls fall, I reach up, gripping his face so I can stare into a pair of warm eyes.
“Fuck me,” I barely whisper onto his lips as if it’s a secret between the two of us. Pressing his forehead against mine, we gaze into each other’s eyes as he slides into me to the hilt.
One hand slips from my ass to my head to grip my hair, pulling it taut against my scalp. It burns, but in the most delicious way. In a way where pain and pleasure mix together. A way where they become one.
My head tips back against the tile as he pierces my skin with his teeth. His cock slipping in and out at a scary pace, and just when I’m afraid I’m going to die from pleasure, I spiral into a deep, deep darkness. My body hums as he continues his assault on my body.
“I fucking love you, I love this sweet cunt, and I love those deep brown eyes as they smile at me when you come,” he growls into my skin. My tits rub against his chest, pushing me into overdrive. I want more, so much more.
“More,” I beg, pulling away from him. “I want more.”
Shutting the water off, I slip away from his touch and watch his face form into confusion.
“Make me forget,” I say quietly as I slip from the shower and step over to the sink. Placing my hands on the countertop, I lean over it and look into the huge mirror in front of me.
Enzo steps behind me. In the mirror’s reflection, I catch the excitement gleaming in his eyes.
“I’ll take you, I’ll own you. I’ll make you whole again, piccolo…” His voice is losing its gentleness, and I want it. I want him to be rough with me. I want the hate and madness between the two of us to sweep away everything else. I want to feel anger in every caress, kiss, and bite. Sliding in behind me, he centers himself at my entrance.
“You better hold on, baby.” It’s the only warning he gives before he pushes into me with sheer force. My nipples scrape across the countertop with every push into my body, and my eyes lock with his in the mirror as my teeth bite my lip to stifle my moans.
“Come on, now,” he murmurs against my skin before his tongue glides against my back. With his grip on my hips harder than ever, he pumps inside of me without mercy. So hard that I’m on the verge of pain.
“Fuck, your cunt is so tight. I’ve been thinking about fucking you every night, jerking off to the thought of your pussy wrapped around my cock. To the image of my dick ramming into your tight asshole.”