A smirk pulls at his lips. “We both know what you feel. There isn’t anything you can do to change it. I know your emotions are conflicted, but you need to give her some time. We need to let her go through everything, so she’s strong enough to carry on when the time comes.” Is he already sticking up for her in a brotherly way?
“Already pulling out the brother card, huh?” I laugh.
Grinning, he shakes his head. “Nah. But if you break her heart, I will probably break your face. How’s that for the brotherly card?” His comment sends a spiral of happiness within me. Amara may have lost so much, but she gained something as well. It might not make her feel better right now, but it will eventually.
Jared, a person who would be a better brother to her than anyone I knew. James, a father who would claim her as his own. And me—a man, who against all odds, has opened his heart to love.
“I would love to see you try and break my face,” I taunt, knowing very well even Jared wouldn’t be able to take me down.
Rolling his eyes like a girl, he laughs. “Whatever. That’s not the point, asshole. The point is you know we lost my mom. It has only ever been my dad and me, and I don’t want to go into pussy foot country and spill my guts to you, but to have someone else is just... exhilarating. For the first time in years, my dad is moving around again. He’s coming here to see her, and though the truth was a damnation to her, it was a joy to us.”
The faraway look in his eyes tells me he’s going back there. I know the look. I’ve endured it many times. He lost his mother, too. Not to the same fate I had, but that doesn’t matter. Loss is loss.
“It’s okay, Jared.” I try to sound convincing, but he knows when to call my bluff, and there is no better time to do so than now. I’m a hypocrite. I know it. I tell people to move on from their own problems while I still boil in my own.
“Just make sure she’s okay enough to talk later,” he says, blinking slowly as if he’s trying to bring himself back to the present. He can’t still blame himself for her death. He was just a kid.
“It wasn’t your fault, Jared,” I blurt out, surprising even myself. I never stepped into the arena with him. I never tried to be the friend he needed. Turning on his heels, I see a deep anger rooted in his eyes.
Clenching his teeth, he says forcefully, “Take your own advice, Enzo. Don’t try to tell me how to handle my shit when you’re barely getting by with your own struggle.”
I let him walk away, down the hall to his room, leaving me to sit in the emptiness to think about all the fucked up choices I have made. Funny, when you’re alone, your mind tends to wander. I started to wonder if everything would come out okay, if we all would get our happily ever after, or if we all were headed down the road to war. Only time will tell.
Hours pass as I continue to sit in the chair across from the bed, watching her sleep. She has been sleeping a lot since we got her back. Her body is worn and tired, her breaths deep, and her chest rising and falling in rhythm with my own beating heart. This moment takes me back to the very last time we had sex—when we were on good terms. How I awoke her from a very similar position.
“Ride my hand, baby…” My own words echo through my mind as I remember every push and pull of our bodies. The way we became one, how I would love to go back to that. To do nothing but stay wrapped up in her for hours.
Things are different now. Death changes people. It changes everything. Why was I so careless with that fragile love between us? I should have known better. I should have been better for her… better for us.
A deep moan pulls me from my thoughts. My eyes refocus, and I watch Amara roll over in bed. She’s wearing one of my shirts and a pair of my boxers. Her shirt rides up with each movement, showing her lower back and ass to me.
My cock stiffens, my whole body getting ready to take her. Of course, it is always hard with her around, but there is something much more important that needs to be handled. I need to know what happened to her while she was gone. Where she had been taken, all she had endured. God, I was a fucking douchebag for not asking these questions before doing anything with her.
Wringing my hands together, I clasp them in front of me. Did I really want to talk to her about all of this? I know I said how sorry I was, but I need to know she is okay. I need to make this right.
Slipping from the chair, I tiptoe across the floor and to the bed. For a moment, I simply stand there, staring at her beautiful face. It’s more than the face of an angel. It’s the face of my savior. The woman I love, who I have hurt, betrayed, and somehow, still managed to keep. Her nose scrunches as if she’s having a bad dream and her pink lips part, a sigh escaping.
Right then, my heart does a little pitter-patter. Yes, the totally fucking girly kind where sighs fall from lips and eyelashes bat. I’m beyond pussy whipped, and I don’t even care. Not one fucking bit.
“Hey, piccolo,” I whisper against her skin as I clasp the side of her cheek gently. She stirs only slightly, and one eye opens.
“It’s still dark out, so if you’re waking me up, somebody better be dying. Wait—no, scratch that... somebody better not be dead. Too much heartache going on around here.” I can tell by the humor lacking in her voice that she isn’t kidding.
“I just need to talk to you. I need to let you know James is coming to meet you. I know you said you needed some time to digest everything that has happened, but we don’t really have time. We need to devise a plan and…”
I’m the motherfucking king, but here I am, bowing to her. Putting myself on the line. I’ve never had to ask someone if things were okay between us—simply because I never cared enough to ask.
“And?” she asks puzzled as I sit on the bed next to her. My dick is still hard, and the way she is looking at me is making it more difficult for me to focus on the task at hand. Fuck. Yeah, that’s what you need to be doing.
“And…. I need to know….” Pause. “If everything is okay? Are you going to be okay?” Pause again. Would I ever be able to fucking man up? Fuck having a cock—if I look down, I guarantee I’ll find a pussy between my legs since I’m acting like one.
Sighing, I raise my gaze and look her straight in the eyes as if I am looking straight down the barrel of a gun. “I need to know we’re okay. I know it sounds fucked up, but I need to know you’re all right. I need to know you aren’t lost somewhere in that pretty fucking head of yours.” She knows exactly what I’m asking because not even a second passes before she’s giving me answers.
“Well, basically, I was held in a hole for three weeks. When I say hole, I do mean one in the ground, surrounded by dirt. I was talked down upon and treated like shit for hours upon hours. Then… Eli baited me to get out of the hole. Technically, I baited him, but it doesn’t matter…” Closing my eyes for a moment, I take a deep breath to calm myself. If he touched her, there is a cement block with his name on it.
“Eli was there? Why didn’t you tell me this sooner?” I try my very best to keep my voice even, hiding how angry I am with her for not speaking up before.
“I guess it kind of slipped my mind. I’m sorry, things have been crazy. Eli being there and helping me escape has been pretty low on my list of things to digest. He did tell me to let you know you owe him a favor.”