“Yup, see you soon.” Jared hangs up the phone. See you soon? Gah. This means I’m about to come face to face with my real father.
The rest of the morning passes with ease. I sit in the living room most of the time reading or watching TV. I’m simply trying to get back to regular life by catching up on some of my favorite TV shows.
I was told not to turn the news on, but I did anyway. It turns out I shouldn’t have. John’s face is plastered on the screen. The news channel is talking about his murder and how the FBI is on the lookout for anyone with any answers to how his death came about. I have two words for them—Lorenzo King. Though I’m sure they already know.
“He’s here,” Jared says from across the room as he paces the floor for the twentieth time. My stomach is in knots by the time I hear the doorbell ring, and I’m about ready to vomit on the floor.
“Son...” I hear him before I see his face. His voice is deep and gravelly, reminding me of my father’s.
“Dad.” Jared sighs, wrapping his father in a tight hug.
I stay seated, not sure if I should get up or not. Is he expecting to hug me too? I don’t know if I’m okay with that.
They walk through the entryway, and his dark eyes slide across the room until they land on me. He looks very similar to John in many ways, which makes sense since they were brothers. His face is worn, and his eyes are dark, holding a look of sadness in them. They brighten slightly upon landing on me, but otherwise, he looks like a man who has settled on hard times.
“Amara?” My name sounds completely unnatural on his tongue. His voice and looks might match my dad’s, but not the way he says my name. There is no familiarity.
Smiling softly, I stand, taking small steps to where he’s standing.
“That’s me,” I say, almost shyly. I’m never shy, scared shitless, maybe, but shy? No. That’s not me usually.
I hold out my hand, offering him to shake it, but instead, he reaches out, pulling me into his arms. My first instinct is to pull away, to push against his chest, but I fight it. His body encompasses my small frame as the smell of smoke and cologne hit me, and I let that sense calm my nerves a little.
“I can’t believe it.” He sounds on the verge of tears. James releases me with hesitation as if he thinks I’ll skip away into the fog. “I’m so sorry.”
“Let’s go sit and talk,” Jared suggests, ushering us into the living room.
I turn on my heels and head for the same seat I was in before.
James stares at me for a long moment, simply smiling. “I can’t even believe this… I’m so flabbergasted.”
“Don’t worry, you aren’t the only one shocked as all hell,” I add, looking between him and Jared.
The leather against my skin is the only thing keeping me in place. I’m honestly scared to find out about the past.
Smiling, he cocks his head. “You look just like your mother—God, Samantha was beautiful.” I can hear the reminiscence in his voice.
“Thanks,” I murmur, unsure of what else there is to say.
“I’m so sorry about missing all these years. Your mother never told me about you. She just kind of disappeared, and then suddenly, she was sick, and…” He stops mid-sentence.
“It’s still kind of hard to talk about her. I feel the same.”
“Of course, of course.” He nods, running a hand through his dark brown hair.
Silence stretches between us after that. I have so many questions, but not a single one comes to mind.
“Well, Dad, I’m glad you made it here in one piece. I wasn’t sure your beat-up truck was going to make it through a two-hour trip,” Jared jokes to break the silence. We all let out a laugh as I listen to the two of them make digs at each other about the mysterious truck. Jared says it made it through The Cold War, World War One and Two, and Vietnam. Basically, it’s old.
“Enzo,” James greets, seeing him before I do. He walks into the living room, wearing a pair of blue jeans and a white V-neck Tee. He looks fuckable as always.
“James.”
“I hope you’re treating my daughter well,” James warns.
“As good as a queen should be treated.” I didn’t have to look at Enzo to know there was a dark look on his face. He didn’t like people assuming he treated me poorly.
“Good. I came here to talk to Amara, and it’s what I would like to do right now if it’s okay with all of you?” James says, commanding all the attention.
Strangely, the energy in the room changes. I’m not sure if it is James’s comment or the fact that he just called me his daughter, which is still odd and uncharted territory.
Enzo’s eyes find mine, and I can see the question in them without needing the words. I nod my head, letting him know I’ll be okay alone with him.
“Yeah, I was just going to get Jared to watch a movie,” Enzo says awkwardly, his eyes zeroing in on Jared. There is a silent exchange between the two of them that makes me curious about what they are really up to—recon to figure out what Mack is up to?
I let them walk away, leaving me with the man I was supposed to call my father.
“Here.” James reaches into the front pocket of his jacket and pulls out a white piece of paper folded many times. He extends his hand to give it to me, but I pause for a moment, unsure about all of this.
“What is it?”
“A letter from your mother. She gave it to me on the slim chance I ever saw you after her death. She told me you were okay, and I wasn’t to go out looking for you. She said if you wanted to know about me, you would come to me.”
He may have been able to hide it from others, but the hurt in his voice tells me my mother’s words hurt him to the core.
“Have you read it?” I ask, taking the note from him. I don’t know if I want to open it here and read it. Maybe I should do it in private.
“No, I haven’t. It’s addressed to you, and I wasn’t going to overstep my boundaries.” At least he is honest. The paper is nice, the kind you would write official letters on and shit.
Taking a few deep breaths, I unfold it like a present on Christmas morning. I want—no, need to read this note. If anything, I know it holds some type of answer.
Dearest Amara,
It saddens me deeply you won’t see this letter until well after I am gone. As I lie here beside you watching you sleep, I write this with tears streaming down my cheeks. My heart is breaking for the pain I know I will cause when you finally discover my biggest kept secret. I truly hope this letter finds you in good times. Please know I never meant to hurt you in any way. I kept this secret in order to protect you.
I grew up loving two people, but the love I had for each was quite different. Falling for John was easy. He was alluring and charming, but it wasn’t the kind of love I felt for James... his brother. James made me fall without even realizing it. So, if I wanted to stop it, I never had the chance. He was simply mesmerizing. Looking back now, I know I should have chosen James from the very beginning, but the love I had for John felt as if it was good enough.
John was my safe place when I needed to hide, so I stayed with him, and we started our life together. Those were our best years. Those were the years when I still knew him. He always had dreams to become a police officer, and when he finally graduated from the academy, he became a different person. Little by little, it was like something changed inside of him. He became more and more wrapped around his cases. His choices changed, and his beliefs became more about his career. He stopped giving me the love and respect I deserved. I was put on the back burner, and my complaints went unnoticed. If they were noticed, it was with a fist. The bruises eventually faded, slowly taking the love I had for him with them.