Here we go again. Another family dinner with the perfect brother and the perfect mother and father, with the daughter who can’t get her life together. I should drive that point home and tell them all about my little stunt of the sham that Clay and I were at the engagement party. Yeah, that will tell them just how big of a loser I am. And, I’ll never hear the end of it. Maybe not such a good idea after all.
“So, honey, what have you been up to. We haven’t seen you in a few weeks.”
“Just keeping busy,” I respond.
“How are you keeping busy without a job?”
“Dad, please don’t start. You know I have my own business.”
“It can’t be as good and stable as the office would be.”
“Actually, I was contracted to do a large project out in Heartville.”
“In Heartville? That’s a tiny town, there can’t possibly be anything big enough for you there. Hey, isn’t that where you said that guy who came with you to the engagement party was from?” My heart sinks at the mention of Clay. I wish he was here with me, if for no other reason than to hold my hand under the table, distract me and make the dreaded time go by faster.
“That guy has a name, and it’s Clay. No, that town is not tiny, it’s a small, classy town, that’s warm and cozy, where people actually say hi when they walk by you on the street. The project at the new dude ranch is not just some small job.”
“A what? Dude ranch, like hell will my daughter be working at a dude ranch.”
“It’s not your choice.” I jump to my feet with my chair skidding across the tile floor. “I’m out of here.”
“I don’t think so, young lady! Get back here!” His words fall on deaf ears as I keep walking.
Thoughts are racing through my head as fast as the white lines on the road blur as I speed past them, driving seventy-five miles an hour down the highway to nowhere in particular. I lost count of time, and when I notice where I am, I am pulling into Clay’s driveway. Still not thinking, just doing, I jump out of the car and ring the doorbell.
The only sound I hear are the birds chirping in a nearby tree.
I ring it one more time, bouncing on the balls of my feet in nervous anticipation. He’s always so busy, what made me think he would be home. Oh, yeah, I wasn’t thinking.
The door not opening forces me to take a chance. So, I dial his number and press the green send button.
A questioning voice answers on the first ring. “Romi?”
“Clay, where are you? I’m in town, and I need to see you.”
“I’m out at the fishing pond.”
“Okay, I’ll be there in about five minutes.”
Anxiety wells up inside of me since I told him that it was over, but the anger towards my father drives me forward to live the life I want despite him. No more of him pushing me around. I’m done with that, and if he can’t love me for who I am, then I hate to say it, but I will be better off without his toxic negative attitude that is never-ending and weighs me down.
When I pull up, the site before me is picture perfect of two grown men sitting with a small boy between them, all facing the water with fishing rods in hand. The scene causes my heart to swell because I can imagine Clay as a great father.
With one shaky foot forward, I place it on the ground outside the car, with a couple of deep breaths and wiping tears from my face, I take slow, quiet steps toward the lake as I come upon them from behind.
“Hey, guys. Have ya caught anything yet?” All three of them turn to face me.
“No luck yet, but hopefully soon,” Clay answers. The adorable little boy looks up with inquisitive eyes, I’m guessing he’s trying to figure out who I am. I move my gaze to Clay, and he’s staring at me with a look of concern.
“Romi, are you okay?” Those sweet simple words cause the tears I’ve tried to hold back escape once again, and he jumps to his feet and goes to my side.
“Unc Clay, why is your friend crying?”
“Oh, sweetheart, what’s wrong?” I can’t talk, so I just shake my head. I hear the other man behind me talk to the child, telling him that Uncle Clay will take care of it, and it will all be good soon. God, I hope he’s right. “Levi, Beck, sorry I have to cut our fishin’ short, but we’ve got to go talk for a while. I’ll see you guys later,” he says and takes my hand in his to escort me to his truck.
The hum of the tires turning along the road is a lonely sound. I’m not sure where we are going, and I really don’t care. I am with Clay, and that’s all that matters to me right now.
Only a few minutes longer, and we’re back at his house. Familiar feelings rush through me as we pass the doorway, just like every other time I have enter this house. It’s small and cozy and feels like home. However, something new startles me. We are met with a cute fluffy, little ball of fur that skids across the floor to greet us.
“Romi, meet Star. She’s Hayden and Summer’s, but I’m doggy-sitting while they’re away for the weekend. Come on in and sit down. Let me grab us some waters.”
I sit on his comfy couch, and Star jumps up for a cuddle. As I stroke her back, I feel calmer. Clay returns to the room, and I’m starstruck once again at how handsome he is.
“Alright, tell me what’s going on.”
“I know I shouldn’t be here. I know I said we would go our separate ways and that this deal between us was done. But tonight, when my dad was lecturing me and berating me for what I do for a living. I’m done with it, and I put too much pressure on myself to build this giant business, when all I really need is enough to live comfortably and be happy. With you, I am the happiest that I have ever been. This is selfish of me to ask because you spread your time between so many animals, your friends and others. God, I feel like the biggest bitch of all for even asking, Clay. But I want your time, I want your conversations, I want you to hold me, I want you to kiss me, I want you to dance with me, I want you to take me, all of me. Even if it’s only five minutes a day that I have to spend with you, then I will cherish and make the most of each and every day I get to have those precious minutes.”
The look in his brown eyes is soft and makes them a shade lighter than they normally are.
“Romi, you have always been determined, beautiful and hardworking, but in the short time that I’ve known you, I’ve seen how you have grown into the strong, brave woman you are today. When we first met and agreed to this, you were unsure about taking the risk to follow your heart and build your life into what you truly wanted. You took the chance on this very unorthodox arrangement. Yes, I thought you were crazy, but it was exactly what I needed at the time too. I was stuck in a rut. A rat race with no way out in sight. The closer we got, the more I began opening my eyes and saw that there were options available for others to help me with my business. Your idea of faking this relationship showed me what true passion is for getting what you want, and you would go to extreme lengths to accomplish just that. Well, now this is me having passion for what I truly love and want, and this is me going after it.”
He inches closer towards me, tenderly cups my cheek in his hand and leans in to place the softest kiss on my lips and holds them there, pleading with me to answer the unspoken question. My answer is yes, and I kiss him back to show him that I am all in.