“I hope you don’t mind,” Carter murmured, leaning his head down so it was only inches from Ruth’s. “She really wants to help. I’m afraid you’re going to get music and smelly stuff whether you want it or not.”
“It’s fine. I don’t mind. She’s so sweet. I love her.” Ruth didn’t mean to say that, but she wasn’t all that good about holding her tongue in the best of circumstances. She wasn’t capable of it at all right now.
Carter felt tense for a moment. Then he cleared his throat and said in a gravelly voice, “Well, she loves you too.”
That made Ruth happy. She smiled and dropped her head against Carter’s shoulder. She liked the way he was holding her. She liked how strong he felt. The way he could so easily support her weight. She tried to enjoy it, but she accidently drifted off, coming back to awareness only when he had laid her on the bed and was taking off her shoes.
“I’m gonna rest here for a little while,” she told him, trying to pull the covers up over her but unable to do so because she was lying on them.
Carter adjusted the bedding so he could cover her up. “I think that’s a good idea. I’m going to call the doctor. I’m a little worried that you’re so out of it.”
“I’m not out of it. Just need a rest.” She couldn’t seem to open her eyes. “Then I need to call about my car.”
“I’ll take care of your car. You don’t need to worry about that.”
“Really?”
“Yes, really, baby. You rest.”
She had no idea what happened after that.
THE NEXT THING SHE was aware of was Carter’s gentle voice. It wasn’t loud, and she’d always liked the sound of it, but it was breaking into her sleep.
“Mm resting,” she mumbled, trying to turn over to get away from the hands on her shoulders.
“I know. I’m sorry. But I need to check to make sure you can wake up all right. So can you please wake up and talk to me for a few minutes?”
It was the naked concern in his voice that pierced through the fog in her mind. She stopped resisting and blinked until she could see his familiar face above her. “Hi,” she said stupidly.
He gave her a rather wobbly smile. “Hi.”
“You woke me up.”
“I know I did. But when I talked to the doctor, he said I should wake you up every hour or so to make sure you were coherent.”
“That seems kind of mean.”
He gave a huff of amusement and pushed some of her hair back from her face. “It’s not supposed to be mean. You have a concussion. It’s to make sure there isn’t any damage.”
“Oh. I don’t think there is.” She stretched and moved her body around to assess how she felt. “I think I’m okay. I feel better now. Not so out of it. I’m not sure what happened.”
“You have a concussion.”
“So you keep saying.” Even her headache was almost gone now. She felt like herself again. She turned to look at Carter, who was reclining on top of the covers beside her. He was wearing the tan pants he’d had on all day with a gray T-shirt which he must have recently put on. She couldn’t remember what he’d been wearing earlier, but she was sure it had long sleeves. He currently had socks but no shoes on. “Have you been lying here with me the whole time?”
“Yes. Of course I have. I needed to make sure you were all right.”
“I’m okay.”
“That’s good. Everyone will be relieved.” Carter looked relieved too. His face had relaxed. The corners of his mouth were turned up slightly in her favorite little smile.
“Everyone?”
“Yes, everyone. Mom keeps popping her head in here every fifteen minutes. Summer has called once and texted twice to make sure I tell her and Lincoln how you’re doing. Kayla’s checked in twice. And even Savannah called. She heard you were in a car accident and was worried about you.”
“Oh.” Ruth’s heart swelled at hearing the list of people who were concerned about her. “Well, you can tell them all I’m okay. They don’t need to worry about me.”
“Okay. I will.” Carter picked up his phone and started sending messages.
She watched him with lazy interest. She was feeling good now. Nothing was really hurting. Not even her wrist. And her mind was blessedly clear. She would need to go to the bathroom in a little while, but it wasn’t uncomfortable yet, and she didn’t want to move.
When Carter finished sending his updates, she said, “It smells good in here. Like Christmas.”
“That’s Mom’s essential oils. Cinnamon. Cloves. Orange. And something else I can’t remember. She said they were good for clarity of the mind.”
Ruth giggled.
Carter slouched farther down and turned his head to face her. His eyes were resting on her face with a warm fondness that was downright intoxicating. “You do seem better.”
“I’m really okay. I’m not sure why I fell apart like that.”
“It’s okay to fall apart.”
“I don’t usually do it.”
“I know you don’t.”
“Thank you for your help. I really do appreciate it.”
His expression sobered. “Can you tell me why you didn’t call me and didn’t want me to help?”
Ruth swallowed hard and tried to think of a good answer.
“Even if you were mad at me or uncomfortable about how things were between us—”
“I wasn’t mad at you!”
“Maybe not. But there was definitely some weirdness between us. So even if you were uncomfortable about that, surely you knew you could still trust me to help you.”
She was too tired to get very emotional again, although her voice broke slightly as she responded, “I know that. I know I can always trust you to help.”
“Then why not call me? You were all by yourself in the hospital. You didn’t have anyone to help you. Even if I’m not your first choice, at least I’m someone. Someone who will always want to help, no matter what else happens between us.”
She closed her eyes against the naked earnestness of his eyes, his voice. It was almost too much to handle. “I know you are. And I know I didn’t have anyone with me. It was... That’s part of why I ended up totally losing it the way I did.”
“So why not let me?”
The only way to truly explain her thinking would be to reveal everything to him. That she didn’t want a little bit of help from him. She wanted everything.
She might be far gone, but she wasn’t ready to expose herself completely.
“It’s hard to explain,” she began. “I think it’s just because I’ve spent most of my life taking care of myself. So it’s... it’s hard to rely on other people. It’s different with family. They have to help you. But you... you’re not family. And... I don’t know. It makes me feel... I’m not used to people going out of their way for me. I’m sorry if I hurt you. I really am. It’s the last thing I wanted to do. I’m just not... I’m not good at letting other people take care of me.”
He nodded and reached down to squeeze her hand. “Okay. I can understand that.”