That night, despite not sleeping at all the night before, I couldn’t fall asleep. But tonight, I wasn’t tormented by the idea of opening Dad’s letter.
No, I was instead tormented by Lucas.
More like the idea of Lucas. I’d seen him yesterday when I’d picked up the pitcher for Gram, but it already felt like a lifetime ago.
Even though I wanted to call him, I wasn’t sure I could. I understood what Donnie had said earlier—my life didn’t revolve around a guy. If Lucas wanted to leave, it wouldn’t ruin my life. But the fear was still there. That nagging idea of “what if?” What if I let him back in only to get hurt again? What if we broke up a month later? What if he didn’t want me back?
With the Halloween Bash tomorrow, I had no idea if Lucas had accepted Hailey’s proposal to be her date. After everything I’d put him through—after I’d told him he should—he deserved someone who wanted his company. In all honesty, I couldn’t remember why they’d ever broken up in the first place. And if I couldn’t remember why, it must not have been a big enough deal. Maybe it was a hurdle they could easily overcome; maybe they already had.
When I thought I couldn’t take it anymore and that my brain was about to explode, I rolled over, pushing onto one elbow and reaching toward my nightstand. My cell phone laid right on top of the envelope, Dad’s letter tucked safely inside. I still didn’t know if I wanted to write him back or not, but I couldn’t help but feel protective of the letter now. Protective of the words he’d written for me.
Funny how I’d wanted to throw the thing away.
I swiped up my cell, and as I unlocked the screen, it started vibrating. My heart nearly jumped out of my chest as I saw Lucas’s name flash, along with the picture I’d set to his contact info. It’d originally been a photo of us after one of his football games last year, posing under the stadium lights, but I’d cropped it, so it only showed him.
I got so distracted by the photo that the call almost went to voicemail before I pressed accept. For a moment, I watched my phone, slowly lifting it to my ear as if it were about to explode. “Hello?”
“It’s after midnight.” Lucas’s voice came immediately, without hesitation. “Happy Halloween.”
A quick glanced at my alarm clock told me he wasn’t wrong. “Happy Halloween.” My heart beat so loudly in my ears that I almost couldn’t hear myself speak. “Did you wait up so you could call me at midnight?”
“I might’ve been.”
A pause filled the air, and I hated it. Our lingering history clung to the quiet, filling the moment with white noise. “You know, we never went on our fourth outing,” I told him, running my fingertips through my hair.
“After the corn maze, I wasn’t sure—well, I wasn’t sure if we should’ve been friends anymore.”
There it was. Lucas finally admitting what I knew early on—being friends wouldn’t have worked. But was he admitting what I always feared? That he was finally done being a part of my life?
“Listen, I…I wanted to call and say I’m going to the Halloween Bash tomorrow.”
My stomach flipped. “Me too. I have to work it.”
“Oh. Really? They booked Gram for it this year?”
This time, when he claimed Gram as his own, I didn’t correct him. “Yeah.” I wanted to tell him about her excitement, how she’d practically screamed when she’d gotten the email, but the words choked off.
“She’s probably so excited. That’s so awesome.” Lucas cleared his throat, speaking a bit firmer. “I’m going to wear that god-awful Prince Charming costume Mom got me. I—I forgot to get a different outfit. It’s either that or the mermaid tail.”
I pressed my fingers to my lips, trying to think of something to say. “Tight pants and everything?”
Lucas’s laugh came through the other line, genuine, and it cracked apart the tenseness in me. For a split second, things felt normal. If only for a second. “Tight pants is better than no pants.”
“I can’t wait to see it,” I said with a small smile, but it quickly faded. He’d wear that prince costume tomorrow—did that mean Hailey was going to be a princess? Were they going together? But why would he tell me he was going to be a prince? “Lucas, I—”
“I know how hard today is for you,” he said abruptly, and I wished so, so badly that I could see his face, see what expression he had on, what emotion glimmered in his eyes. The phone provided a cruel barrier between us, shutting me out of what went on in that head of his. And gosh, I wanted to know what ran through his brain. “I just wanted to make sure you were okay.”
The breath I drew in pinched, but it wasn’t painful. “I’ll be okay,” I said softly, tucking my blanket closer to my skin. “Thanks, Lucas.”
“I’ll see you tomorrow, then,” he said softly, a thread of hesitation tied in those words. I didn’t want him to hang up, didn’t want this strange phone call to end. “Goodnight, Blaire.”
And without waiting for my response, Lucas ended the call.
I laid back against my pillows, staring at the ceiling much like I had last night. If I focused, his low voice still echoed in my ear. Why had he called me? To tell me he was going to be a prince at the Bash? To simply wish me Happy Halloween? After our argument at the corn maze, I couldn’t imagine him doing the latter.
Had he told me he was being a prince because he wanted me to be a princess? Was that it? Or was I overthinking that too?
I thought of the surprise Gram had been crafting for me. I couldn’t be a princess tomorrow, not even if I wanted to. For the first time in my life, I was going to be the one thing I’d always dreamed of.
The Village of Hallow went all out with the Halloween Boo-Bash each year. Our apartment was directly across the street from the park, making it hard to miss the big party. The music came through the brick walls, the laughter too, beckoning me to come to the window and take a peek. And so I’d go to the window, part the curtains, look out at the party in the park below. It always looked so strange, with so many people wandering around, fully in costume, laughing and having a great time.
However, being at the party was so much different than watching the party.
Or, at least, that’s what I thought as I looked out the shop’s windows, listening to Gram count off the last mini caramel cheesecakes. I rubbed my fingertips along the surface of my nail polish, lost in thought as I stared across the street. “There were a lot of trick-or-treaters this year,” I said to Gram, watching the orange and black balloons wiggle with the wind. “I can’t believe we ran out of candy so early.”
“Well, they’ll go across the street to the Boo-Bash and get their fill,” she said with a chuckle, picking up a large pan of mini cheesecakes. “Aimee!” she shouted, turning to face the direction of the kitchen. “We’re heading over!”
Aunt Aimee moved out from behind the wall that obscured the back, a jack-o-lantern apron covering her costume. She dressed as some kind of superhero, with a black-and-gray suit and a red cape that hung off her shoulders. “I’ll head over with the last tray in a bit. John should be there manning the display.”