“I remember. Someone found the bike the next day and returned it, but Mom didn’t let me ride it again for months.”
“You had your hands in your pockets that day. Probably because you also had her damn ponytail shoved in there. You have done it every time you were worried about something since.”
I wasn’t so sure he was right, yet I made a conscious choice to remove my hands from my pockets before I sat down.
I sighed. “Am I a selfish person?”
Pops frowned. “You mean because you hold the reins at work and boss around your sisters?”
That hadn’t been what I was referring to, but thanks, Pops. I shook my head. “I met a woman.”
Pops nodded. “The looker? Charlize?”
I chuckled. “Yeah, that’s her.”
“Good choice. She seems like a woman who won’t put up with your shit.” Pops wagged a finger at me. “That’s the key to a happy marriage. Marry a woman who scares you a little, one who makes you think what the hell is she doing with a jackass like me? Then spend the rest of your life trying to live up to what you think she deserves.”
Pops had a lot of wisdom, and I knew he was right, but I wasn’t asking the question I really wanted answered. So I took a deep breath and spit out what was really bothering me.
“It’s new. But I really like her…and…she wants kids.”
Pops held my eyes as so many unspoken words passed between us. He didn’t need any more of an explanation about why that was an issue for me.
His face saddened, but he nodded. “So you think you’re selfish for not wanting kids.”
I nodded.
“You’re not selfish, son. You just don’t know how to deny someone you love anything. That’s an admirable quality in a man. Your situation is different than a man who doesn’t want children because he likes his lifestyle. I could see how that might seem somewhat selfish, though it’s still a person’s choice. It’s their life. But you…it’s not about that. I’d guess that down deep you even want to have children, that your reasons are more of a protective nature—for a future child, and maybe even a little for yourself.”
I felt a heavy weight on my chest and looked down. “I don’t know about that, Pops.”
When I looked back up, he caught my gaze. “Do you trust me?”
“Of course I do.”
“Then trust me when I say you’re not selfish. That’s not what this is about.” Pops sighed. “Have you spoken to your lady about your reasons?”
I shook my head.
“Well, that’s where you need to start. If nothing else, at least she’ll understand your position better.”
“It’s not something that’s easy to explain.”
“Of course not. But I think you need to tell your story. It’s been a long time coming. And even if you two can’t work out your differences, it’s important for you to come clean with her…and yourself.”
***
Ireland blew me off again on Monday. By Tuesday morning, I was feeling restless and snapping at my staff. Even Millie was keeping her distance. But then my desk phone rang in the early afternoon, and the caller ID flashed the name Ireland Richardson.
My heart was pumping before I even lifted the receiver. “I got my zoning variance!”
I smiled at the sound of her voice. I’d forgotten her hearing was this morning. “That’s great news. I’m glad it worked out.”
“It didn’t work out. You made it work out. Thank you so much, Grant. I owe you one.”
My normal response would’ve been Why don’t you bring your sexy ass up here to my office, and I’ll cash that chip in after I lock my door, but things still felt off. So instead I said, “You’re welcome. But it was really no trouble at all.”
“I think I might have even found a new contractor to finish the bathroom. He said if I could get someone in to sheetrock by midweek, he could tile the shower and floors. Then the plumber would just need to come back to set the sink and toilet and I’d at least have one working bathroom. If I can get that and a bedroom done, I could move in when my lease is up and get the kitchen and other rooms done slowly.”
“Do you have a drywaller lined up?”
She sighed. “No. But I’m going to start searching as soon as we hang up.”
“You just need the bathroom done this week?”
“Yeah. So hopefully it won’t be too hard to find someone.”
I remembered all the house construction Pops and I had done over the years. They were actually some of the best memories of my life. We’d spend the day bullshitting and laughing, and things would somehow get done. Which gave me an idea...
“You don’t have to call around. I have someone for you.”
“You do?”
“I do.”
“Oh my God. I wish I could climb through the phone and kiss your face right now.”
I grinned. “Save that thought. Because that’s how you’ll be paying the contractor who’s going to do your work.”
“Did you just tell me I have to make out with the contractor?”
I chuckled. “I most certainly did.”
“Now I’m lost. Who is this contractor?”
“Me.”
Chapter 26
* * *
Ireland
God, I like that toolbelt.
I leaned against the doorframe, watching Grant work in the front yard. He had a piece of sheetrock set up on two sawhorses and was running a saw over it to fit into an area of the bathroom he’d just measured. He had on a pair of jeans, work boots, a T-shirt, and a ratty old toolbelt. And he looked ridiculously hot. I mean, I loved him in a well-fitted suit, and I loved him with a pair of board shorts on his boat, but this… This made me want to get sweaty and dirty.
“Keep looking at me like that, and nothing is going to get finished.”
His head had been down, and I hadn’t even been aware that he knew I was watching. I sipped water from a plastic bottle. “Pay attention to the saw in your hand. I wouldn’t want you to cut off anything important.”
Grant lifted the cut sheetrock upright, pulled the goggles from his head, and hung them on the end of one of the sawhorses. He carried it up the steps and stopped in front of me, in the tight space of the doorway, to plant a chaste kiss on my mouth. “Let’s get finished. Every time I pass the frame where the kitchen counter will be, all I can think about is how it’s the perfect height to fuck you.”
Despite my confusion about our future, I seriously had it bad for this man. One kiss and the mention of sex, and I could feel my nipples harden and a tingle between my legs. I had to clear my throat to not show how affected I was. “Better get back to work. Or I won’t pay you later.”
His eyes darkened. “Try not to pay me later, sweetheart.”
While Grant went back to the bathroom, I sat down on the steps of the porch. I wanted things to truly be as light and easy as they’d felt for the last few minutes. I’d avoided Grant since my discovery that he didn’t want children. I’d given a lot of thought to breaking things off with him. I already had strong feelings, and spending more time together would likely just make it worse when the time came. But that was logical, and the heart doesn’t do logic. So for now, for the short term anyway, I’d decided to stay in the moment.