"Are you alright, Augusta?"
Augusta creased her brows. "Are you alright, My Lady?"
Esther forced a smile. "Of course."
Augusta, with much strain, shook her head. "You don't look the same, you look sadder. Are you sure you’re alright, My Lady?"
Esther stared at the child. The girls' question replayed in her head. And all she could think was a suitable response was, no. She wasn't fine. Her mother wanted her to find another suitor as soon as possible, and she was in no mood to see a play. She was tired, weak, broken. She didn't think she could wake up every day and keep pretending that everything was alright. It wasn't.
"My Lady? Are you crying? Is it something I said? I'm sorry." The child's voice was frantic. She was worried, her voice was rising, and then, she was crying. "I'm sorry, My Lady. I'm so sorry. I'm sorry."
Esther's eyes widened as she stared at the child. She wanted to speak, she tried to calm the child down. But when she opened her mouth to do so, words wouldn’t come out. Her throat clogged. She felt suffocated. Soon there was a loud sob. The children were straining their necks, looking at her with worried expressions.
Esther looked around. The door swung open and Lady Kinross walked in with the Duke of York behind her. Both their eyes darted around the room and then back to Esther. She was sorry, she didn't mean to cause trouble. She shook her head as a child explained what had happened. Esther didn’t look up to see which child was talking, but she guessed it was Georgia, the thirteen-year-old. Esther was in no condition to do the explaining as she was shaking now, and tears came rapidly.
She didn't quite register what was going on, but she saw the Duke approaching her, gripping her shoulders, and leading her outside the room.
She walked half-consciously, barely aware of what was happening. He took her to the little room at the end of the hallway. As he closed the door behind them, she started wiping at her tears.
"Lady Esther," he called plainly, his voice void of emotions. "You scared those little ones."
Esther shook her head. "I would never do anything to hurt those children. I love them like my own. It...it wasn't deliberate. I feel a little under the weather today is all. I'll be fine."
"You're not a little under the weather, Lady Esther. You are hurt, you are sad, and your sadness has affected those children today."
"No," she whispered as her eyes welled up again.
"You need to take a break from all of this. Find yourself. You need to get over this heartbreak Look what it is doing to you."
"I want him back," she whispered. "I want Nicholas back. No one understands how deeply I felt for Lord Milway. Since I was babe, I have loved him. I only have known a future with him, Your Grace. I don’t know how to live without Nicholas. I want everything back to the way it was," she sobbed.
She watched as the Duke observed her silently. Her lips moved, but she couldn't hear her own voice as her eyes locked with his darkened ones: blue, angry eyes that gazed at her with fury that burned deep. She didn't care what he thought.
"I feel tired. So very tired of it all. I cannot bear this any longer," she whispered. "I can't. I can't bear to live with the shame of what happened."
In an instant, the Duke strode across the room, his angry stare settling on her. His large hands gripped her forearms. She gasped as he pulled her closer to him. "Listen to me, Lady Esther. You will say no such thing. You will speak no such words ever again. You will live without Lord Milway, you will laugh without him. All will be well again, but you have to start making it all well again. Forget Lord Milway."
"I will not!” she snapped. The Duke's eyes widened. He gazed at her intently. She was shaken from her outburst. She would never have raised her voice at anyone before. She started to apologize, but he let go of her. Without a glance backward, the Duke pulled the door open and walked through the threshold, leaving Esther in a daze.
She had snuck out of the orphanage, too ashamed to let anyone see her. She was afraid as well that word about her behavior would get to her mother. And she was quite sure it wouldn't end well.
The carriage went silently, and when it rolled to a halt, Esther realized they must have arrived at the theatre. She pulled the curtains aside and looked out. The theatre was swamped with people. A man in a tall hat and a tailcoat stood at the entrance, grinning and welcoming people in.
"Welcome, welcome." He smiled.
With her face slightly flushed, she could imagine what she would look like when she alighted the carriage. She closed the curtain, "A moment, Angus!" she called to the driver.
His response was barely audible, but she knew he heard. She pulled her hand across her hair a few times, then placed a pin on each side to hold it in place. With a handkerchief from her reticule, she dabbed her face and blinked a few times. Once she felt ready, she left the carriage and walked to the entrance of the theatre, looking around. She headed to the spot where the large sign read:
William Shakespeare's Measure For Measure.
It was the spot where she and her friends often waited for one another. Most times, she arrived first. She liked to keep to time. Katherine often came after her, and Anne had always — because of her stepmother — arrived quite late. But they made it a rule to always wait for one another.
A loud giggle behind her averted her gaze from the people walking in. She turned. Katherine stood there, Lord Bowmount by her side. His hair seemed a tad bit out of place, and so did Katherine's. Esther's cheeks flamed as it dawned on her that perhaps, they had had an intimate moment on the carriage ride there. As the two approached her, she cleared her throat. Katherine tossed her golden hair behind her shoulders and grinned at Esther. She made no move to let go of Lord Bowmount, and Esther understood very well why. Katherine was quite possessive, and perhaps they were fooling around, being silly.
"Esther, dear." Katherine waved her right hand. "I can't let go of Victor now, for I fear he would run away. He doesn't really enjoy the theater. I had to make him come. How are you?"
"Well, thank you." She inclined her head to Lord Bowmount. "Lord Bowmount."
"Lady Esther," he responded. His very faint French accent grazed her ears when he said her name. She smiled.
"Thank Goodness, you all have arrived. Our seats are waiting. Come on in. "Anne came from behind them. She was alone, dressed beautifully in a pink gown, protected by a black cloak. She looked radiant. Beautiful. She had only been wed for a few weeks, yet it seemed as though it had been many months, perhaps years.
They all walked behind her after exchanging pleasantries. Esther was seated in between, on Anne's left, and Katherine's right. Katherine was yet to wed, but preparations for her wedding were in order.