"Yes, their own homes. Not theirs and ten others," he said.
I frowned at him because he did have a point...to an extent. I'd been planning to cut back a bit in my last month or two, but not yet. Even with his insurance, there were going to be medical bills and deductibles that I would need to pay.
"If I were eight or nine months pregnant, I would agree that I need to slow down, but I'm barely out of my first trimester so I should be fine for another four or five months."
"Dr. Stubens said you needed to take frequent breaks and put your feet up, even early on in your pregnancy, so you don't have issues with your blood pressure and swelling."
"I know what she said but she's also aware of what I do for a living so she knows how much I'm on my feet. If she thought I should quit one of my jobs, she would have said so."
He mulled that over for a moment. "Okay, you have a point there, but my point is that I'm doing well financially and I can take over payment on our joint bills. When you're done with school, we can talk again."
"You're still telling me what to do here, J.J.," I said.
"I'm trying to help you, Lee," he shot back.
My voice was getting higher and louder but his remained calm.
"Let me help," he said. "You don't complain when I make dinner or help you tidy up. This isn't much different."
I laughed. "It is different."
"How?"
"Money equals power and control in a lot of relationships, Jay. I can't afford to be financially dependent on you and I'm not just talking about money."
"You won't be dependent on me," he said. "You're not dependent on me now. You'll still have your own money and income and you'll be spending a lot less of it if you're not paying all of the bills."
I exhaled. "I'm not comfortable with this," I stated.
"Do you think I'm comfortable with living here while you pay for everything?" he asked. "Would you be if our roles were reversed?"
Crud. He had a point. I wouldn't be okay with living with him while he footed the entire bill. Even if he'd been doing it before I moved in. "Why do you have to be so reasonable and logical?" I asked.
He grinned at me, knowing that he'd gotten through. "Years of experience in dealing with your brothers."
I made a face at him which made him laugh. "Fine. You can take over the basic utilities like water, trash, and electricity. We'll split the Wi-Fi and subscription streaming services. Groceries will be on whoever does the shopping that day. Sound fair?"
"I still say I should pay for the groceries. I eat a lot more than you."
I groaned. "And I grow most of our produce, so it's not like we're spending a lot."
He frowned at me. "Then, I should definitely pay for the groceries since you're putting in so much time gardening."
"Gah! Fine!" I exclaimed waving my arms. "Pay for the groceries. But don't start insisting on paying me back if I pick up milk or eggs or whatever on the way home from work."
The butthead smiled at me. "All right. We have a deal. Now, I prefer to keep the utilities on auto-pay, I'll need you to give me the login and passwords for the accounts, or at least log in for me so I can add my card information to it."
"Right this minute?" I asked, giving my apple slices and peanut butter a pointed glance.
"After your snack. You don't eat enough as it is."
I sighed. "I eat plenty. I just had trouble eating when I was still having morning sickness. It's almost completely gone now, so I'm going back to my regular eating habits."
J.J. raised his hands in mock surrender. "Okay, I apologize. I'm going to change while you finish your snack and then we can get everything changed over."
I waited until he left the room before I sat back in my chair and sighed again. Arguing with J.J. was going to be difficult because he refused to argue and he also refused to budge. Rather than losing his temper the way my mother and brothers did, he would just come back with logic and reasonable debate.
While I was glad he wasn't prone to losing his temper, I also wondered if he was like me. I rarely lost control of my anger, but when I did, I had a tendency to do and say things I regretted.
Now that my heart was involved, anything he said when he blew would obliterate me.
Then again, maybe the reason he was so calm was because he wasn't as emotionally attached as I was. Maybe his concern was more for our baby than for me.
I took a deep breath and covered my face with my hands. Oh, God, I hoped that wasn't the case. He liked me, he'd admitted as much to me. He wanted to get to know me, to spend time with me, but that wasn't the same as falling in love.
When you loved someone, you gave them the ability to hurt you. But if they didn't love you back, you couldn't trust them not to inflict pain.
J.J. gave me every indication he was a good man, but that didn't mean he couldn't hurt me. He might never do so intentionally, but unintentional pain still caused wounds.
By the time J.J. returned to the kitchen, I'd gotten myself under control. Or at least gave every appearance that I was in control.
Unfortunately, he destroyed it when he came back in and asked, "Are we going to have to have this discussion again when we move into a bigger place?"
I blinked at him, completely taken aback by the question. "What?"
He sat down in the chair to my right and scrubbed his hands over his face. "We won't be able to stay here once the baby comes. We won't have enough space for both of us and the baby and all their stuff."
I stared at him in complete silence for a protracted moment. He was right, of course. This house was almost too small for J.J. and I together. Add the baby into the mix and it would be so crowded we couldn't turn around.
And that was the moment I burst into tears.
"Oh, crap," J.J. said as I sobbed. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Please don't cry."
Of course that only made me sob harder because I felt even worse.
"Hey, hey, it's okay," J.J. murmured, his mouth suddenly by my ear. Somehow he arranged us so that he was sitting in the chair and I was in his lap. He hugged me close, rocking me back and forth as he stroked my hair. "I didn't mean to upset you. Please don't cry."
I hiccupped a few times but I couldn't stop the tears long enough to tell him that it wasn't his fault for being right.
He stood up with me in his arms and carried me into my room. I tucked my face into his neck as the tears kept coming. J.J. sat on the edge of the bed and continued to hold me while I cried.
I wasn't sure how long I wept, but when the tears finally calmed, my eyes felt swollen and hot. My nose was stopped up and my throat ached.
I sniffled then laughed when a tissue appeared in front of my face, held between two of J.J.'s fingers.
"Thanks," I muttered.
I took the tissue and blew my nose. Another appeared in front of my face where it was tucked beneath J.J.'s chin and I laughed again. I took it and wiped my cheeks, eyes, and the tip of my nose. I crumpled them up and tossed them on my nightstand.
"At the risk of upsetting you again, can I ask what brought that on?" J.J. asked, his tone conversational.