“Caleb?”
My name. I hear my name said, the sound so distant.
“Caleb?”
Something touches me and I flinch, my elbow slamming into the tile wall. The pain shoots up my arm, but I barely register it.
“Caleb, it’s okay. You’re okay.”
I can feel the weight of a hand as it rests against my back, slowly moving, the feeling soothing, warmth radiating through me.
“Take a deep breath for me,” the voice says. “In through the nose and out through the mouth, nice and slow.”
I do as the voice says, the comforting sound somehow breaking through all the noise in my head as I breathe in deep before slowly exhaling.
“That’s right, nice and slow. In through the nose, out through the mouth.”
I do it again, my lungs filling with more air this time as another hand touches my arm, fingers curling around my bicep as a warm body presses against me.
“You’re okay. I’m here.”
The voice is closer now, right against my ear, that feeling of warmth covering me, almost like a blanket, as the words make their way into my head, soothing me. I force myself to keep breathing, my eyes closing as my head falls onto the warm body beside me.
“I’m here,” it says again. “I’ve got you.”
I don’t know how long it takes, but eventually my heart starts to slow down, my breathing becoming easier as the noise in my head gradually starts to recede. I feel exhausted, my limbs like lead, my head now filled with a dull aching feeling.
“Are you okay?”
I force my head up, my eyes meeting Ruby’s, which are filled with concern. “What…” I swallow hard, my tongue thick, my mouth dry. “What are…”
“Shhh,” she says, her hand brushing over my cheek.
Her fingers move through my hair, pushing it back, as her other hand rubs slow circles on my back, her body still pressed against mine.
“What…” I try again, clearing my throat as I force the words out. “What are you doing here?”
Ruby smiles at me, her fingers pushing through my hair to the back of my neck, where they gently start to massage now. I let out a groan, my eyes closing as my head drops. She kneads at my neck, slowly unknotting the tension.
“I think you might have had a panic attack,” she whispers, her lips pressing to my temple.
I groan in frustration, wondering when the fuck any of this is ever going to stop.
“It’s okay, Caleb,” she murmurs, her mouth still against my ear. “You’re okay.”
I shake my head. “I’m not,” I moan. “I’m so fucking far from okay, it’s not funny.”
She wraps her arms around me now, holding me to her, my head resting on her shoulder. “It’s okay that you feel this way,” she says, kissing the top of my head. “It’s okay, Caleb. None of this is your fault, but it will get better. With time and talking and help, it will get better.”
I bury my face against her neck, groaning into her. She smells of sunscreen and the beach and it’s got to be so much nicer than how I currently smell.
“I need to take a shower,” I murmur.
“You need some help?” she asks and I chuckle a little, surprising myself as I hear Ruby let out a laugh too. “All PG, I promise,” she says, squeezing her arms around me.
I lift my head, my eyes meeting hers. She looks back at me with so much concern and sympathy in her beautiful brown eyes. It reaches in and takes hold of my heart, which aches with wanting all of this to be so fucking different to what it is right now.
I lift my hand to her face, cupping her cheek. “Thank you,” I whisper, leaning in and pressing my lips to her forehead. I linger against her, kissing her once more as I lower my head, my lips finding her cheek, her jaw. Ruby angles her face toward me, our mouths so close now as her lips brush against mine.
It’s barely a kiss, but in this moment, it is so much more.
I do it again, brushing my lips lightly against hers this time.
She lets out a small gasp and when I reluctantly pull away, I see her eyes are closed.
I brush my thumb across her cheekbone and her eyes open. They’re dark now, her pupils dilated, the sympathy long gone and replaced with something else, something much more intriguing.
I swallow hard, wishing to fuck I could do more, say something that explains how much I want this, but how fucked up I know it would all be because I’m such a fucking mess.
“You okay?” she asks, offering me a small smile.
I nod.
“Everyone’s back. Reid too,” she says. “Why don’t I go change my sheets and you can have a shower and then lie down? I’ll tell them you’re taking a nap,” she suggests. “You have the perfect excuse considering I threw my drunken ass at you.”
I let out a little laugh, my thumb tracing her cheekbone again. “I didn’t mind,” I tell her, my voice low.
Ruby smirks. “Right, and the puking after was the icing on the cake, right?”
I shrug. “Not like you haven’t just seen me lose it.”
“Caleb,” Ruby says softly and the way she says my name has my heart flipping inside my chest, my body longing for so much more.
“I’m gonna try and stand up,” I say, knowing we can’t just stay here like this, as much as I might want to.
Ruby unwraps her arms from me as she helps me up. “Okay?”
I nod, pulling my wet t-shirt off and throwing it over the glass shower door. “I’m okay, thank you.”
She doesn’t move straightaway, the two of us standing in the small shower stall, our bodies close and me no longer wearing my shirt. Now my head is clearing, I finally see what she’s wearing: a tiny pair of shorts and on top, nothing but a bikini top, her breasts barely covered by the fabric.
I have to bite the inside of my cheek just to stop the groan as a jolt of lust shoots straight down my spine to my dick. There’s not a chance in hell she can help me out now, not now that I’ve seen her like this.
“You okay?” she asks, her hand on my chest, palm flattening against my skin.
I nod, taking her hand and lifting it to my mouth. I press a kiss to her knuckles, before turning so she can’t see what this is now doing to me. “I am, thank you.”
She doesn’t say anything more and I hear her moving behind me, the sound of the bathroom door now closing, leaving me alone in the shower.
My body no longer consumed by a panic attack.
But now filled with want.
For her.
Ruby.
Chapter Fifteen
Ruby
I close the bathroom door behind me, my back falling against it softly as my heart races in my chest. My body is so tense it feels like it might snap, but I don’t want Caleb to know he scared the shit out of me. That will only make things worse for him, give him something else to worry about.
I’m so glad Sienna and Mila are still outside with Reid because there’s no way I could pass off my reaction to Caleb’s panic attack as anything but concern. I’m sure Caleb doesn’t need Sienna flying in here and asking him a million questions, even if her heart is in the right place.
I came in here to tell Caleb that there was an accident outside the house and the people were screaming at each other. It was like live reality TV and only entertaining because clearly no one was hurt. A minor rear-ending because someone was on their phone or whatever and given the speed limit on our street is only twenty-five miles per hour, no real damage happened. It doesn’t mean people aren’t completely irrational.