“Whoa there. Settle down, Ruby. It’s just a birthday, like any other day. I’m twenty-two. Not much to really celebrate, right?”
“Don’t be stupid, Caleb. We are celebrating so you can either tell me what you want to do or I can surprise you.”
He stops walking and even though he isn’t saying it, I can see the light behind his eyes, the prospect of his birthday gleaming from inside him. I want to make this day something he remembers, something to shove aside all the bullshit in his life and remind him that he has so much to look forward to.
“Okay, fine. Surprise me,” he says, sounding resolved to the fact that I was going to do something regardless.
“Yes!” I call out, throwing my arms around him and he does the same, lifting me off the ground slightly as he hugs me back just as tightly. “Now we gotta hurry home so I can check my notebook where I write everything down that you love.”
“Huh?” he responds, shooting me a sideways glance while I laugh out loud.
“Settle down, Caleb. That was a joke. I have no clue what you like other than beer and movies.” I shrug my shoulders, hoping he at least gives me a quick hint at something, and his response is one I should’ve seen coming, but of course I’m caught off guard.
“I like you, so that’s easy. I’ll just have you for my birthday.”
Well, fuck me. What does that even mean?
I could give myself to him without question, but we can’t do that. We can’t cross that line. At least not right now, not while he’s still trying to sort his life out. It will just complicate things and we don’t need that. We have so much we need to work through and us being able to conquer his panic attacks doesn’t mean shit if he isn’t able to do it himself.
“I’ll talk to Sienna,” I mutter out, my heart racing at his words, but not wanting to acknowledge them. Things have been really fucking crazy today between that kiss and him telling me he wants me for his birthday.
Holy shit.
I think he just likes fucking with me and I’d be lying if I said I didn’t enjoy it.
“Wanna go for a run when we get home?” I ask now, trying to distract myself from his comment and also figure out a way to calm the craziness that is racing though my body like a car on the Autobahn.
“Sure. Don’t forget I joined a gym, so get ready to get your ass handed to you. It’s on, Ruby.”
“Dude, you went to the gym once. I don’t think it works like that, you cocky shit,” I shoot back, loving every second of our witty banter.
“Well, then I’ll race you home,” he calls out, swatting me on the ass as he takes off running.
I wait for Caleb to leave for work before hitting Sienna with a series of questions about how I can help celebrate her brother’s birthday. With her being gone, I want to make sure he realizes it’s still something exciting, something worth celebrating.
“I feel like such an asshole going away with Reid. This is the first birthday Caleb and I have been together for in like three years,” she laments, a whine coming through in her words. “But Reid told me Caleb’s fine with it.”
“He’s acting like he doesn’t care it’s his birthday and I’m not having any of that,” I tell Sienna. “I think you should go away and enjoy your birthday with Reid. Just because you’re twins doesn’t mean you have to do everything together, but I want to make sure he doesn’t feel like his was forgotten.”
“I’m sure you don’t,” she prods back, winking at me a few times as she clicks her tongue. “Trying to get rid of me, huh?”
“Why is this the constant joke? Can’t I just do something nice for him?” I cross my arms over my chest, letting out an annoyed huff.
“Sorry. I know I give you a ton of shit about it, but seriously, thank you. Caleb is almost like his old self when he’s with you.”
“I don’t think it’s just me. His job is helping. Joining the gym and keeping a routine,” I say, trying not to draw attention to the relationship that continues to grow between Caleb and me. Quickly changing the subject because I’m teetering on the edge of confessing to Sie that I’m totally into her brother.
“So, what do you think? Any ideas of what we can do while you’re gone?” I feel like I walked right into the damn joke and I point a finger at her quickly, giving her the stink eye before she lays into me with some dirty suggestions.
Sienna laughs, throaty and deep, her hand slapping the table and I shake my head at how easily she can float between apologizing and giving me shit.
“Okay, in all seriousness. He loves watching the sunset. His favorite food is pizza with black olives and mushrooms. His favorite movie is The Kingsman, like he’s seen it a million times and can recite every line.” She stops and smiles a little and it makes me smile back. He’s somehow just like Sienna, yet still so different. “His favorite cake is yellow cake with chocolate frosting. I have a recipe of a cake my grandma made for us before she passed away. We both love it.”
I tilt my head to the side, a sudden ache in my chest as I think about how for all those years Sie and Caleb grew up without someone to bake their favorite cake or buy them the one gift they always wanted. My parents never missed an opportunity to make my birthday everything I thought it would be, but the two of them never had that. I’m glad Sie has Reid now to whisk her away and give her a weekend to remember. I want to do the same for Caleb.
“Can you get me the recipe?” I ask, choking back the lump I feel form in my throat as I think about all the missed birthdays they’ve both had.
“Of course,” she replies. “When we lived together in Providence, I made it every year. He’ll be so excited.”
“Is there anything else?” I ask, trying to compile a pretty solid list of things I can do.
“No,” she says, letting out a small puff of air. She smiles at me, but it’s sad and again my heart begins to ache, my chest tightening up. “Thanks, Ruby.” Her head is tilted to the side, her eyes wet with the start of tears.
“Don’t cry, Sie,” I say, sympathetically. “This isn’t something to be sad over. Go have fun with Reid and I’ll be here with Caleb.”
She shakes her head, quietly laughing. “I’m not sad. I’m so damn grateful for you and Reid and that everything worked out the way it did. When you don’t have any family…” She stops, swiping at her eyes, not finishing her thought and she doesn’t have to. I understand what she’s saying and everything her silence implies.
“Please, Sie, I know. We’re family. We were always family and nothing’s going to change that. I love that Caleb is a part of it now, too.”
Sienna has carried around a ton of guilt since leaving Providence to come to Hawthorn, but to make matters worse, when she did return, she found her brother beaten and left for dead. All she wants is for him to have a normal life, for him to recover from it all. I know leaving him on his birthday is hard for her, but I also know she needs to have her own life.
“So go have fun with Reid. Have lots of sex and sleep in and order room service. I’ll be here with Caleb watching The Kingsman and eating cake. If you think of anything else, let me know.”