‘Can you read it again?’
He sighs. ‘Do I have to?’
‘Yes. It’s Christmas. Indulge me.’
So he recites it again and makes me cry a bit more.
Chapter Eighty-Four
Lucas and I have a lovely, chilled day together. I cook a traditional Christmas lunch for us except with vegan onion tarts instead of turkey. Holly and Ivy will be happy about that. We pull crackers that the students have made and wear our completely naff paper hats.
‘I feel like a right wanker,’ Lucas says as he checks out his reflection in the window. But he keeps it on, nevertheless.
In the afternoon, I potter about while Lucas, amidst a pile of cushions and dogs, reads his new poetry book. I cajole him into a game of cards, which he quite enjoys as he pays little attention and yet he still wins. The dogs flop about on the floor beneath us, untroubled even though they’ve been cooped up for hours.
The snow continues to fall throughout the day and, as they say, it’s deep and crisp and even.
As it darkens into evening, I look out of the window. ‘I should go and feed everyone. Want to come?’
‘Yeah,’ Lucas says, pushing himself out of the cosy nook he’s created in the sofa. ‘I’ll get my coat.’
I look at him tenderly. ‘It’s been a nice day. I’ve enjoyed spending time together.’
‘Yeah,’ he agrees. ‘And I whooped your arse at cards.’
I laugh. ‘You did.’
‘Return match tomorrow?’
‘Don’t forget we have a houseful – or caravanful.’
‘Ah. I might challenge Penny to a game or two. See what she’s made of.’
That makes me smile. ‘I see.’
‘You don’t,’ he says. ‘We’re friends. Don’t start phoning the vicar.’
‘I won’t. I just want you to find a special friend.’
‘A special friend?’ He wrinkles his nose at me. ‘Give me a break. You forget, I’m sworn off lurrrrve for the foreseeable future. Little Dog is the only companion I need.’ He ruffles the dog’s ears which sends him into a frenzy of delight.
Maybe. If not Penny, then I hope someone comes along for Lucas to care for, someone of his own age to share his life, his hopes and dreams.
We wrap up, pull on our boots and venture out into the snow. The fresh fall has obliterated our previous footsteps, so the yard is pristine until we crunch across it to reach the barn.
The animals are quite excited to have some human company and even more excited that dinner is on its way. Lucas and I set about feeding them all. When we get to the sheep, Fluffy has separated herself from everyone else and is pawing at the ground. Her belly looks lower than it was and she’s stretching her back.
‘I think that Fluffy’s time is near,’ I note.
Lucas looks anxious. ‘Shall we phone the vet?’
‘If it’s a straightforward birth, she’ll be able to manage,’ I assure him. ‘I don’t want to drag out anyone on Christmas night unnecessarily. We’ll keep a close eye on her.’
Then there’s the sound of a car trundling its way up the lane and for one stupid moment I wonder whether it’s Shelby. Maybe he didn’t get on the plane after all and has come back to us for Christmas.
Leaving Lucas on sheep duty, I hurry out of the barn and to the gate. It’s Matt’s car that’s waiting there and he’s the last person I expected to see. I let him into the yard and when he gets out of the car, he says, ‘I hope you don’t mind me dropping by. This isn’t a bad time?’
‘It’s the perfect time,’ I tell him. ‘But I thought you were on your way to stay with your family.’
‘Couldn’t get up there. The snow is much worse in the north. I decided not to risk it.’
‘They must be disappointed.’
‘Yes. I am too, but I’ll see them as soon as I can. I didn’t want to get stuck halfway up the M6.’
‘Very wise.’
‘You’re sure I won’t be in the way?’
‘Not at all. It’s just me and Lucas today.’
He looks puzzled. ‘No Shelby?’
‘I’m afraid not,’ I tell him. ‘He’s gone to LA. He flew out this morning. He’s taken a contract to be a baddie in a big drama out there.’
‘How long for?’
‘That’s a moot point.’ I might as well tell Matt what the situation is. ‘If I’m honest with you, I don’t think that he’ll come back at all.’
He frowns at me. ‘So where does that leave you?’
‘Here. With Lucas. Just the two of us. I couldn’t be happier.’ I smile at him to show that I genuinely am OK. ‘Shelby and I will always be friends, I hope. I love his son as my own and will be looking after Lucas here for as long as he needs me. Shelby is my landlord here too, so I have to keep on the right side of him.’
‘He’s a fool to go off chasing stardom when he has so much here.’ Matt looks round at the yard, the farm. From what I’ve already seen, I know that he’s very comfortable in this setting.
‘I’m not sure that he sees it in quite the same way. This isn’t the life that Shelby wants.’ Even though, sometimes, he thinks it is. ‘Sheep poo and bitey alpacas are not really his scene. We all have to follow our dreams. It’s just a shame that our dreams didn’t coincide.’
He looks as if he wants to say something else, but changes his mind.
‘I’m very pleased to see you, and Lucas will be delighted,’ I say instead.
‘I brought you both presents, if that’s all right.’
‘That’s very thoughtful of you.’
‘Just small gifts,’ he says. ‘Don’t get too excited.’ He delves into the back of the car and produces a beautiful red poinsettia, all wrapped in cellophane with a big bow. He offers it to me. ‘My sister said this was a good present.’
‘She’s right.’ I take it from him, gratefully. ‘It’s lovely. Thank you. It will certainly help to brighten our little caravan.’
‘I’ve got something for Lucas, too.’
‘He’s in the barn. Our pregnant sheep has picked this moment to go into labour. Lucas is watching over her. Shall we take a look at how she’s getting on?’
We head back to the barn and as we cross the yard, we walk beneath the mistletoe that we hung there together. Suddenly, mid-stride, Matt pauses and says ‘Molly.’
I turn towards him, expectant.
‘We missed out before,’ he says and glances at the mistletoe.
‘We did.’
Despite my arms being full of poinsettia, he moves towards me. His lips find mine and he tastes of Christmas spices, cinnamon and nutmeg. His kiss is warm, tender and makes my head spin and my knees weak.
‘I’ve wanted to do that for a long time. It was worth waiting for,’ he says. ‘You don’t mind?’
‘No.’ I smile shyly at him. ‘I rather enjoyed it.’
We both laugh and he says softly, ‘Merry Christmas, Molly.’
‘Merry Christmas.’
But, such is my life, our romantic interlude doesn’t last for long. I look anxiously at where I’ve left Lucas. ‘I don’t want to break the moment, but I should check that Fluffy’s OK. It’s her first lamb.’