Rogue snuggled down under the blanket and tugged my hand to draw me with her, curling up with her knees brushing mine, our heads angled towards one another.
"Remember when we scared Chase shitless when we hid in the teacups that time?" she said.
I snorted a laugh as I nodded. We'd waited there for over an hour for him to arrive and jumped out, spraying whipped cream all over him. He'd punched me so hard in the nose, he'd almost fucking broken it. But it had been so worth it. We'd tried it on Maverick and Fox the next time and they'd just cocked their heads like they knew we'd been there the whole time. I swear they could telepathically communicate sometimes too. Maverick would just wiggle his eyebrows and Fox would twitch his nose and they'd know exactly what each other meant. They might not have been blood brothers, but their souls were connected in some way that I'd always admired.
We all had our ways with each other like that though, our own special friendships that were as deep as theirs. It had been like that for so many years, that I'd taken it for granted for way too long. Tonight had reminded me of how easily the world could end. One minute you were perving on underage girls and the next minute five kids were throwing you into the ocean as shark bait. Sucked balls for him.
But maybe that was karma or God or divine intervention or some shit. I'd once read a book where the characters had been slaves to the stars and the twinkly bastards just kept fucking with their fates again and again until their lives were destroyed. I hoped real life wasn't like that. I'd seen a lot of miserable shits in my time and I didn't wanna become one of them. Old people just seemed so unhappy all the time in this town. I was never gonna grow into someone who didn't have a smile on their face. No fucking chance. And if fate wanted to fuck me, then it had better bring a rubber and some lube, because I was going to at least make a good time of it.
"We should get him in the morning," I said. "Maybe I can find a spider to put on his face."
She giggled but then her eyes dimmed and she shook her head. "He's had a shit night. Did you see his bruises?"
"How could I miss them?" I muttered, my jaw tightening.
I hated his asshole dad. I'd offered to let Chase stay with me countless times, but my place wasn't exactly a sanctuary, though my mom didn't care who I had over. So long as he could put up with the sex noises and the crack smoke seeping through the walls, I always had an open door to him. But we usually ended up sleeping here instead. Because, you know, crack smoke and sex noises.
"I hate seeing him hurt," she whispered and I nodded my agreement.
"Just a couple more years and we'll all be free to do what we want," I said firmly. "We'll get jobs and shit and become respectable people." I snorted at my own joke and she chuckled.
"I don't ever want to be respectable. If you ever see me doing my taxes and wearing some ugly ass pant suit, shoot me in the head. Just a clean shot. No warning. It's already too late for me."
I breathed a laugh then reached out and brushed a lock of deep brown hair behind her ear before I could overthink it. "I couldn't kill you, Rogue."
"Not even a pant-suit wearing, tax-filing, ass-eating version of me?" she asked, her eyes dancing with light.
"Well you didn't mention the ass eating before. Is that literally or metaphorically?" I teased and she shivered as my fingers grazed down to her neck though I wasn't sure she even noticed it.
"Hmm, literally ass-eating my boring accountant husband." She mimed puking
"At least your sex life is lively," I said. "You sure you'll still want to die then?"
"Yeah, because there's only one love of my life." She beamed and my heart beat harder and harder.
"Oh yeah?" I breathed. "Who's that?"
I leaned closer to her, my tongue heavy as I gazed at her mouth, a crazy part of me wondering if maybe it was me she wanted. And after all that had happened tonight, I just wanted to get over my fucking fear and show her how I felt. I was so tired of craving her, watching her, never having her. I wanted to be brave like she had been. I wanted to prove I was as manly as any of my friends, and that in another year I'd be able to put all of them on their asses. And if I kissed her like a man then she'd know I was one.
I got closer, almost nose to nose while she grinned.
"The sea," she said but I couldn't remember what the question was that she was answering.
I just nodded, mumbling something that sounded like dolphins before figuring fuck it and just lunging at her, mouth half open, eyes sort of closed but not quite. My mouth hit blanket and I opened my eyes, fully in surprise, finding her yawning, her head dropped back onto the pillow and my whole body burned with shame. Did she just reject me? Or did she not notice? Oh god, what's worse?
"I'm exhausted," she said sleepily. "Where's Chase?"
"Um, snacks," I said dumbly, swiping a hand over my face, feeling like the world's biggest tool. Did she palm me off or what? I was fucking confused. And definitely not manly.
I flopped down beside her with a huff. Chase reappeared a moment later and I was kinda glad he hadn't shown up when I'd gone all mouth to blanket on the world.
He dropped down on Rogue's other side with his arms full of packets of chips, ripping into them as he started eating. I frowned, knowing he'd most likely missed dinner. I didn't even know how the guy had filled out so much when he was always missing meals. It was kind of infuriating, but then knowing the reason made me feel like a shit for thinking it. I could eat fifty bags of chips a day and I wouldn't put on a single pound. But yeah, not that having a shitty family who didn't feed you was worth that trade. At least my mom put dinner on the table every night, even if it was with a side of moaning orgasms in the next room, or sweaty, half naked men wandering through my kitchen.
Some of them actually tried to talk to me on occasion like they were trying to stepdad me or some shit. Mostly the regulars. One in particular had convinced himself he was in a relationship with my mom even when he had to say hi to the last guy who'd just been inside her on his way into the house.
I treated them all the same when they tried to make pleasantries, giving them the face that said you're-paying-to-fuck-my-mom-so-leave-the-cash-and-piss-off-back-to-creepsville. That worked on ninety percent of them. And to be honest, the talkers weren't the worst of it. There were the nasty fuckers who paid bigger bucks for 'special services'. Services that usually left bruises on my mom and made her walk funny after. I didn't like those guys. But if I said anything to Mom she just brushed it off like it was nothing. I couldn't imagine any kind of sex being nothing. It seemed like a whole world of something to me. But maybe that was just because I was still a virgin and didn't know a clitoris from an ovary.
Rogue curled up, moving back against me so her body nestled against mine and fuck that felt good. Chase was soon full and laid down on her other side, squashing her between us so all I could hear were their soft breaths and the sea crashing against the shore somewhere below us.
Despite my failed kiss attempt and this night being one hell of a mindfuck, I found peace with my friends. Two of the four people I cared most about in the world. And sleep stole me away to where all the possibilities of the future awaited me. Where I'd be big, strong, rich. And a man who'd be able to kiss Rogue right.