“I bought you a car because I want you safe. I don’t want you cycling in the dark when I’m not around to pick you up.”
“That’s sweet.”
“The day the examiner decided you’d passed your driving test on the first attempt will go down in history as a small miracle.”
“That’s not sweet. You don’t like being driven by anyone, not just me.”
“I might have to drive the new car when we go out together.”
Jonty rolled his eyes. “I’ll buy you a peaked cap, you can pretend to be a chauffeur and I’ll sit in the back.”
“Hmm. Open that one next.”
Jonty ripped off the paper and burst out laughing. It was a grey peaked cap.
Jonty kissed him. “Thank you.”
“You’re welcome.”
“Here.” Jonty handed Devan a small package. “This one is yours. It’s not a car.”
Devan opened it. It was a book Jonty had made called How To Make Jonty Happy. Devan chuckled and opened it. There was writing on one page, and on the facing page a photograph. Making Toast for Jonty sat opposite a photo of Devan smiling as he made toast. Flake Play sat opposite a picture of a box of Cadbury’s Flakes being used in some imaginative ways. Licking Jonty’s Cock was accompanied by a picture of a huge dick that was most definitely not Jonty’s. Devan laughed as he looked through the book.
“I wish I could put this with my collection of How to books,” Devan said. “It’s the best How to book ever. Thank you.”
Devan had bought him a set of tools to make his sea glass pictures, a blue cashmere scarf, socks with the days of the week printed on them, the latest Jo Nesbo thriller, an Apple watch and the biggest box of Flakes Jonty had ever seen.
“Wow and how?”
“Catering pack.”
“It should last me through January.”
Devan laughed. “I’m going to hide them and ration you.”
Jonty had bought Devan ten bottles of lube of different sorts and flavours.
“Mint chocolate chip?” Devan chuckled. “Toasted nuts, Pina Colada. What?”
“I bags that one.”
“Banana, bacon—seriously?”
When Devan unwrapped the box of condoms, he frowned. “Already opened?”
“Take one out.” Jonty’s heart thumped.
Devan gave a short laugh when he did. Jonty had perforated the foil in several places with a hole punch.
“I’m not telling you that I want to get pregnant…” Jonty stared at him. “Just that we don’t need them anymore.”
“Oh fuck. Now look what you’ve done.” Devan’s cock was tenting his trousers.
“What do you think?” Jonty whispered.
Devan pulled him into his arms. “I think I’d like to barricade the door and stay in bed all day fucking you.”
“We’re not going to do that. Open your other presents.”
Jonty watched as Devan opened a small flat packet. It was another book. On the front it said Choose Wisely. It was full of dick pics.
“Jesus, Jonty.”
“Mine’s in there. And yours. It’s my version of Where’s Willie.”
“How did you get this made?”
“I did it myself. I thought it would make a good coffee table book.”
“Did you?”
“Or you could give it to your mum for her to play Spot Devan’s Willie when she gets fed up of nuclear physics.”
“What a good idea.”
“This is your last present,” Jonty said. “If it’s not right, you can change it.”
Jonty watched Devan’s face as he opened it. It was a new kite to board with and it had cost Jonty a fortune, even though Mike had got it at a good price.
“Jonty,” Devan whispered. “This is too much.”
“No, it’s not. I was really happy I could buy it for you. I heard you talking to Mike about them and he got it for me. I thought I could have your old one, then we can kite surf together.”
“How much is left in your This is going to change my life fund?”
“Nothing. I don’t need it anymore.”
For a moment, Jonty thought Devan was going to cry.
“I have one last gift for you as well.” Devan put his hand in his pocket and pulled out an envelope. “I was going to give it you downstairs but have it now.”
Jonty opened the envelope and unfolded the piece of paper. Flights had been booked in February to travel to Moscow and from Moscow to Vladivostok. A four-day trip. Jonty gasped.
“Ussuri Bay is a thirty-minute drive from Vladivostok,” Devan said. “We’ll use a guide because of the weather. I thought it might be nice in winter because the snow will reflect all the colours. Experts reckon the sea glass there won’t last more than a couple of decades. I wanted you to see it while it’s still magnificent.”
Jonty couldn’t speak. But he could cry, and he did.
“I love you,” he hiccupped.
By the time they were ready to go downstairs, Cato had texted Devan several times telling him to get a move on. Jonty had laughed when he read the messages.
Hurry up.
Help!
Fucking get down here. I need a drink.
The Ps have just given dickhead a thousand pounds for new camera. WTF???
Stop messing around with Jonty and come downstairs.
Jonty and Devan carried their gifts down and into the sitting room.
“Merry Christmas,” everyone called.
The children were surrounded by a sea of paper and came rushing up to thank him and Devan for their gifts, bought after Devan had consulted his sisters. Jonty had been shocked by how much Devan had spent on buying phones for the older two and iPads for the other three. Bucks Fizz was handed out with mini croissants and pain au chocolate and Jonty stuck close to Devan. They sat together on a large single chair and Lucien brought them every one of his presents to admire. Lego dragons and games and a talking robot.
“Lucien?” Devan said. “Do you want to help pass out some more presents?”
Seanna came to help her brother. Devan had brought earrings for his mother and sisters, the latest Kindle for his brothers-in-law and a round of golf at St Andrews for his father and whoever he wanted to play with him. Cato got two tickets for Disneyland Paris.
“I’ve tested your gift,” Devan said to Griff and handed him an envelope. “I did it in the summer.”
“What have you got?” Cato bounded across the room, looked over Griff’s shoulder and laughed. “A fund raising abseil down the Shard for a cerebral palsy charity. Devan’s sponsored you for a thousand pounds.”
“Wow, that’s great, honey,” Suki said. “I’ll give you a thousand dollars.”
“A thousand from me too,” said Devan’s father.
Griff’s sisters offered money as well.
“But you hate heights.” His mother glared.
If looks could kill, several of those in the room would be dead.
A thousand pounds to torture his brother. Jonty sighed. He still hoped that Devan could forgive Griff for what he’d done but wasn’t sure that would happen today. Devan had been bought shirts and books by his sisters, as had Jonty. His parents had bought him a new chair for his home office, as they had for Cato.