Not in the way they meant but Jonty thought there was something wrong with him to do what he’d done to Devan.
“Devan helped him,” Georgina said. “He played with Griff. He entertained him. He was so patient. Never told him to go away. Always found time for him. Devan stopped him getting bullied at school, but with the age difference, he had to pass that baton to Cato. Cato has always done his own thing and was never close to Griff in the way Devan was.”
“Maybe too close,” Jonty said. “Griff chose the same subjects to study, went to the same university, ended up working at the same company.”
“Devan got him the job with The Shaw Group,” Will said.
“Did you ask him to?” It was a guess, but Devan’s mother nodded.
“You spoiled him,” Jonty whispered. “Of course you were more protective of a child with CP. You didn’t love your other children less, but you babied Griff for too long. You gave him too much. You let him get away with too much and if you did that in front of the others, particularly Devan, who was closest to him, I think you made Griff feel he deserved that help. You didn’t make him become self-reliant and it wasn’t a matter of letting that happen, you should have made it happen. Devan did too much for him. He still feels the weight of that.”
“You have no idea,” Georgina said, her tone short. “How can you possibly know what life was like for him—for us. The difficulties he went through… The difficulties he’s still going through. For him to watch his siblings do everything so easily. I can’t believe we’re been lectured to by a young man barely out of his teens.”
“I’m twenty-five going on fifty. I’ve probably seen more of the bad side of life than anyone in this house. You don’t have to listen to me. I’m only trying to help.”
“By telling us we’ve failed as parents?” she snapped.
“You haven’t. You’re just doing too much for one son who could and should be a better man than he is. Having a disability doesn’t give Griff the right to be an arsehole.” Oh God, did I go too far?
Will laughed. “You’re right. It doesn’t.”
“Has he always wanted to be a photographer?” Jonty asked.
“No,” Will said. “I’ve never heard him mention it.”
“Yet you gave him a lot of money to buy a new camera. If Devan had said—no, it doesn’t work with Devan because he has enough money to do what he wants, but if say…Venice wanted to open a restaurant, would you be supporting her or telling her to stick to medicine?”
Georgina bristled. “One of Griff’s photos is going to be in Time magazine.”
“So you said. But what’s his speciality going to be? Rooms, nature, people? Making a living as freelance photographer will be hard. Is he going to expect you to support him?”
“You don’t think we should,” Will said.
“No. He should support himself. He can work a job and take photographs in his spare time. One photograph in a smart magazine and one award doesn’t mean he’s made it. If he can take photos and live on the money he makes, then good for him, but if he can’t, I wouldn’t be funding his choice.”
“You don’t understand what he’s had to go through,” Georgina said.
“How can I? But I do understand what Devan’s been through. Look, I’ve said enough. I’ve said too much. I’m sorry. You can’t undo the past, but what you do now can influence the future. You have a beautiful home full of music and laughter and love, and two of your sons can barely stand to be in the same room as each other. I have a sister and two half-brothers who I’m not allowed to know. You’re lucky.”
Jonty walked out of the room and straight into Devan. “Oh God, did I teach you how to be an eavesdropper? How much did you hear?”
“Enough to make me want to take you upstairs and show you how much I love you.”
“By letting me eat three Flakes?”
Devan sighed and put his hand on Jonty’s forehead. “Only three? You must be ill.”
“Ha ha.”
The door opened and Devan’s father stood there. “Devan, come and have a word with me and your mother.”
Devan sighed, but the moment he’d disappeared into the kitchen, Jonty went looking for Griff.
He found him watching Home Alone with Suki.
“Can I have a word with you, please?” Jonty asked. “Maybe in the music room?”
Griff rolled his eyes but pushed to his feet. “Back in a bit,” he said to Suki.
Jonty followed him and closed the door when they were both inside. Griff dropped onto a couch, Jonty sat at the other end and waited for the first salvo.
“You’re not right for Devan,” Griff said.
“You care about his happiness?”
“Or course I do.”
“Yet you fucked his fiancé the day before Ravi and Devan were due to get married.”
Griff chewed his cheeks.
“I think you just want what Devan has. And that’s the way it’s been since you were a small boy and Devan was always at your side, always had your back. Maybe he was your role model at first, but that turned into jealousy. I have no idea whether you were in love with Ravi. From what I saw, there wasn’t a lot to love, but Devan was with him for two years. He loved him once, so maybe Ravi has depths I haven’t seen. Unless you asked Ravi to go to the hotel, to get me into trouble, to try and break me and Devan up?”
Griff stayed silent.
Oh God, am I right? “You hurt Devan by taking Ravi. You made that hurt worse by asking him to be your best man.”
Griff’s jaw twitched.
“You either weren’t thinking or you deliberately set out to hurt him again.”
“I thought he was over him.”
“Over Ravi maybe, but not over what you did. Have you ever really apologised? You’re lucky that your actions didn’t break this family. You’re so lucky to have them. Sisters and brothers. Parents who care. But they cared too much for you.”
“They cared because I needed more help than the others. You’ve seen the way I walk.”
“The damage is not all on the outside. Stop letting other people sort out your life. Stop wanting what others have got and want for yourself instead. Your parents gave you more money for a camera than they spent on Cato and Devan combined. Your brothers don’t mind but you should! Be what you are and stop trying to be what you’re not. If you really think you can make it as a photographer, then great, but don’t ask your parents to prop you up.”
“You’ve no idea what my life has been like. People look at me and think I’m stupid.”
Jonty shrugged. “That happens to me too. Pierced eyebrow, pierced ear and my hair.”
“It’s not the same. My whole life has been hard.”
“Loving parents. Loving siblings. No, I don’t know what that’s like.”
“You think I like people feeling sorry for me?”
Jonty leaned forward. “No, because I don’t either. I don’t want to be loved because I had parents who didn’t care about me, a mother who deserted me, a father who beat me. I want to be loved for who I am now. Devan loves me, the real me, the damaged me, the me that can’t keep my mouth shut. We all deserve to be loved, but we have to earn that love and we never have to stop earning it. I want Devan to forgive you. I want that to be his Christmas gift for you and not an abseil down a tower when you’re scared of heights. But how can he forgive when you don’t even see what you did wrong?”