She scoffs. “How could you expect me to? I wasn’t being paid very well, you know. One glass of nasty-tasting punch isn’t payment.”
“I didn’t say I’d pay you,” I argue.
“Well, if you keep referring to this as a job, then I’m going to expect payment,” she argues back. “Look, there’s obviously something between you two that neither of you can deny. So figure it out. Either get with her or end it once and for all, even if that means you can’t be the band’s lawyer.” We’ve arrived at her apartment, and she gives me one last pointed look before climbing out.
I watch to make sure she gets into the building safely then take off toward my place, but I don’t end up at home. I end up driving aimlessly around the city, spacing out and just concentrating on the road. I know Dee Dee is right. I need to make up my mind and stick with it. This constant back and forth is enough to drive anyone nuts. It’s time to do some soul-searching. I want her. God knows I want her. But how can it work? She’ll be gone more than she’s around. How can anyone have a relationship like that? I’m completely lost in thought as I drive and am surprised when I look up and find I’m at Luna’s apartment building. I stare at what I think is her window and wait to feel that pull. I don’t feel it. Maybe we’re too far away.
Then it hits me like a wave and I’m wondering why it came on so suddenly, but then there’s a knock on my window. I look at the passenger window to see her bending down, looking in at me.
I hit the button and unlock the door. She opens it and takes a seat next to me. “Whatcha doing?”
“I was driving around aimlessly. Just trying to figure out some shit. When I looked up, I found myself here.”
She presses her lips together and nods. “I’m sorry.”
“For what?” I ask, looking over at her.
“For fucking everything up tonight. I understand now. You brought a date to help keep yourself in check and I pushed right through that. I know you were really trying for the both of us—to help us end things—and I wouldn’t listen. I pushed you to do something you didn’t want to do, and I’m sorry for that.”
I reach out and take her hand in mine. “It’s not that I don’t want you, Luna. That’s the problem. I do want you. I want you too much, and in the end, we’ll both end up hurt. If it’s this hard to stay away from each other now, it’s only going to get harder when it’s time for you to go on tour.”
“I know,” she agrees. “I just don’t know why it’s so hard to stay away from you. Things would be so much simpler if we had never crossed the line.”
“I would rather lose you than to have never had you at all.” I kiss the top of her hand.
She offers up a small smile. “So you took your date home?”
I nod. “Yep, and she yelled at me. I told her to keep me away from you tonight. Then I disappeared, and when I came back, I didn’t have our coats. She knew what I had done.”
She laughs. “So there really isn’t anything going on between you two?”
“Nope. We’re just good friends. She’s actually one of my best friends and has been since college. We’ve never touched or kissed or anything.”
When I look over at her, she’s staring at me. I can’t read the look in her eyes. It’s like she’s amazed I’m even sitting here with her.
“Do you think what we have is just sexual, or do you think our sexual chemistry is so strong because we were actually meant to be together?”
I wet my lips and open my mouth, but no words come out. I don’t know how to answer that and I’m praying to God we aren’t meant for each other. What a sad love story that would be. “I don’t know. What do you think?”
She pulls her eyes away from mine, looking at the brick building as she shrugs. “I should get inside. We have a long day of setting up our album tomorrow.”
“Okay,” I agree, forcing myself to let her go.
She reaches for the door and opens it, stepping out and walking inside without another word or look back. Once she’s inside, I shift into drive and head home—this time for real.
Seven
Luna
Walking away from him is hard—one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do. All I want to do is to take his hand and tell him to push our problems away—to worry about them another day—but I know no good can come of that. He’s right. If we don’t end things, we’ll only hurt each other in the end. I need to focus on my music career and he needs to focus on anything but me. When I saw him tonight with another woman on his arm, I’d never felt more upset, jealous, or angry. Something inside me flipped in that moment, and I had to have him and make him mine again.
The week we didn’t see each other was the hardest for me, so when I saw him today at the meeting and then again at the party, it was like having my favorite drug offered to me. I could either reach out and take it, knowing that coming down would hurt twice as much, or I could turn it away. I reached out and took it, and now, the comedown is rough. I walk into my apartment and lock the door behind me. Most of the time when I lock it, it’s to keep people out. But this time, it’s to keep me in. I grab my phone and call Van.
“What’s up, Lune?”
“I don’t know what I’m doing, Van. I need rehab.”
He laughs. “Still caught up in that lawyer? Other than work stuff, you guys haven’t been together in over a week, right? Shouldn’t you be over him by now?”
I bite the inside of my cheek. “Well, actually, we kind of hooked up tonight at the party.”
“What? Tonight? When? He had a fucking date, Luna!”
I scrunch down when he yells at me. “I know, I know. I fucked up, okay? I just saw him for the first time in a week and I had this overwhelming urge to go to him. Then she was there and I was angry and jealous and just had to have him. I don’t know what to do, Van.”
He scoffs and I’m sure he’s shaking his head at me. “Stay away from him, Luna. Let the connection slip away, all right? Time and space between you will end it. Trust me, it always does.”
I nod. “Okay, I’m sure you’re right. I can do this. I’m strong, tough, independent. I don’t need any man.”
He laughs. “Except for Ridge, Lane, and me, right?”
I laugh and agree. “Night, Van.”
“Night, you crazy-ass woman.”
I laugh and hang up the phone. I talk to myself in my head, repeating all the things Van and I just said. I just need to get my mind off Daniel and not see him. I can handle that. That’s easy, right?”
There’s a knock at the door and I pull it open, knowing who it will be. Daniel is on the other side, looking tired, haggard, and all-around worn out. He shrugs and I smile. That’s all we need. I rush to him and he rushes to me, our lips meeting in the middle.
“Fuck the heartbreak. You’re worth one last time,” he says against my lips as he kicks the door closed and carries me to my room.
He pushes into me and says, “This is it. Our last time.”