Nathanial watched her in awe for he not only saw the joy that stood in her eyes, but also the sadness that clung to every word she had spoken. “Your sister is no longer among us, is she?”
The lady swallowed hard, and he could see a slight tremor grip her jaw. “She died a few years ago, but because of her, because of what happened that day, I had a brother to lean on when it happened. There is always good with the bad. Always. Only sometimes it’s hard to see.”
“I’m sorry,” Nathanial whispered, feeling the need to offer comfort, but uncertain how to do so.
Blinking back the tears that lingered in her eyes, the lady lifted her chin and returned to the center of the terrace. “Today, you took a chance as well.” A mischievous twinkle lit up her eyes as she once more spread her arms. “You did something you’d never done before, isn’t that true?”
Nathanial smiled. “Very true.”
“And how did it feel?”
Holding her gaze, Nathanial inhaled a slow, deep breath and, in that moment, he remembered all the shallow breaths that had come before. Air to sustain his body, but not to make him feel. He had been going through the motions, done what had been expected of him, but he had not…lived, for lack of a better word.
But tonight he had.
For a short, precious moment, he had done something solely because he had wanted to and it had felt wonderful. Had he been wrong all this time? Was her way of looking at tragedy the only way to overcome it? Could he ever truly see the world through her eyes?
“Thank you,” Nathanial told her, regret suddenly claiming his heart when he realized that he would not see her again after tonight. How could he when he did not even know her name? And yet, although she was a stranger, she had somehow found the very words he had needed to hear. She had given him a moment of peace, of joy. Still, Nathanial wondered if he would manage to hold on to it without her.
With a smile upon her face, she held out her hand to him. “Do you want to dance? Here? Under the stars?”
Glancing upward, Nathanial saw the thousands of small lights dotting the night sky. Never had he and Abigail danced under the stars. Never had they done anything silly. Perhaps this was the way to banish her memory once and for all. “I would love to,” Nathanial replied and then stepped forward to take her hand.
The lady chuckled. “You just surprised yourself, did you not?”
“Was it that obvious?”
She nodded as they began to move to the soft echo of the orchestra’s tune. “You have such an adorable way of looking utterly shocked, scandalized even.”
Nathanial frowned. “Is that supposed to be a compliment?”
“How can adorable ever not be a compliment?” she asked with a laugh.
The ease and openness of her character was strangely intoxicating. “Men generally dislike being called adorable,” he pointed out with little to no vehemence. “They prefer more manly adjectives.”
“Then they’re fools!” the lady exclaimed. “For being called adorable is the greatest of compliments. It means one managed to endear oneself to another, to gain another’s affection. Is there anything more precious in the world?”
Nathanial did not dare reply. His eyes searched hers as he wondered about her words, wondered if she had truly meant to say what he had heard. Had she meant to say that he had endeared himself to her? That she, too, felt this strange ease that seemed to exist between them? After all, she had called him adorable.
Odd, how such a small word could suddenly occupy his thoughts!
“Here you are!” Lord Markham’s voice cut through the quiet stillness on the terrace, and Nathanial almost flinched, his head swiveling sideways. The man had opened one of the French doors and was now striding toward them, his gaze unreadable in the dim light. The tone in his voice, however, betrayed a certain urgency.
“I was surprised to hear that you were also in attendance tonight,” Lord Markham said with a bit of reproach in his voice.
Nathanial frowned, confused by the strange comment. After all, they had arrived together. Could it be that Lord Markham was too deep in his cups and no longer recalled the details of the evening? His speech nor his walk, however, suggested inebriation. “Pardon me, but…” And then Nathanial realized that Lord Markham’s comment had not been directed at him. Indeed, his brother’s closest friend was looking at the golden lady in Nathanial’s arms.
Even with the mask covering her face, Nathanial detected a hint of contrition upon her lovely face as she turned to Lord Markham, stepping out of Nathanial’s embrace. “Then Caroline found you?” she asked, a joyous smile coming to her lips. “She looks stunning in that dress, does she not?”
Lord Markham frowned. “The dress was your idea?”
“Don’t tell me you didn’t like it.”
The man’s jaw tensed. “Still, you should not have—”
“Yes, I should have!” the lady insisted as she stepped toward Lord Markham, jabbing an angry finger at his chest. “I hope you haven’t been a bore and ruined this evening for her.”
Lord Markham’s head lowered as he tried to hide a smile.
“Ah!” the lady exclaimed, triumph in her voice. “I suppose the dress did not miss its mark after all. Is it still in one piece?”
Lord Markham shook his head, laughing. “You’re unbelievable, Charlaine.”
Nathanial cringed at the sound of her name for it sent a jolt of recognition through his being. It sounded familiar, so very familiar. He had heard it before…recently. Again, the sound of music drifted to his ears, mingling with children’s laughter as they had chased one another across green lawns.
And then, at last, the penny dropped!
Jerking back, Nathanial stared at her wide-eyed, cursing himself for being the greatest fool the world had ever seen. “You!” he gasped. “It is you!” How had he not seen it before? How had he not been able to put two and two together? Her black hair, those dark, soulful eyes, her…her accent? “You deceived me,” he snarled as a sharp pain pierced his heart in a most familiar way. “You knew, did you not? You knew who I was.”
Her eyes met his. “I’m sorry. I…”
Nathanial’s jaw clenched, and he shook his head, taking a step away from her. “Don’t. I don’t want to hear it.”
Dimly, he noticed Lord Markham looking back and forth between two of them. “I’m afraid we need to leave. There is a pressing matter requiring my attention. Caswell, if you wish to remain—”
“No,” Nathanial grumbled. “I’ve had enough.” Then he turned his back on yet another woman who had lied to him and strode back inside, unable to look at her a moment longer.
Oh, what an utter fool he had been!
Chapter Fourteen
A Precious Moment
Never would Charlaine forget the hurt that had stood in Nathanial’s eyes when he had realized that she had intentionally concealed her identity, that she had lied to him. The realization had wounded him in a way Charlaine had not expected.
She ought to have known better.
“You seem distracted,” Charlaine remarked as she walked into the Hawthorne ball on Pierce’s arm the following night. Lights sparkled everywhere, and the ton danced and laughed as it was wont to do, glaring at her on the quiet…as they were also wont to do.