For a moment, Charlaine feared the pins holding her mask in place would suffer. However, Nathanial’s caresses felt like the delicate touch of a feather. She could feel his caring heart in every touch and knew that, somehow, she had reached him tonight. Here and now, he cared for her, for Nathanial Caswell was not the kind of man who would return a woman’s kiss without feeling something. They had shared a precious moment, and it had been exactly what he had needed.
In truth, Charlaine had needed it as well.
Lifting his head, Nathanial looked down at her, a hint of contrition in his eyes. “I…I shouldn’t have done this.”
Charlaine smiled at him. “You didn’t. I did.” She searched his face. “Do you regret it?”
Slowly, he shook his head. His hands finally released her and he took a step back. “I cannot say that I do.” His gaze lingered on hers. “Why did you…?”
Leaning back against the balustrade, Charlaine smiled. “Because I wanted to. Because it felt as though you wanted to as well. Was I wrong?”
Running a hand through his hair, Nathanial turned away, trying to hide the grin that stole onto his face. “We hardly know each other.” He chuckled. “In fact, we don’t know each other at all.”
“Then tell me something about yourself,” Charlaine dared him. “Is your brother like you?”
Looking back at her, Nathanial paused, his blue eyes calculating as he no doubt considered how much to share with a stranger, his mind never allowing his tongue free rein. “We’re like day and night,” he finally said. “He is daring and bold, charming and easily makes friends wherever he goes. He never worries and…” A heavy sigh left his lips.
Holding his gaze, Charlaine moved closer. “You don’t truly believe that, do you?”
Nathanial frowned. “Why wouldn’t I? It’s true.”
“Everybody worries,” Charlaine objected. “As soon as you love, you worry. You said he is married?” Nathanial nodded. “And he loves his wife?” Again, he nodded. “I dare you to ask him. But I guarantee that he worries for her and no doubt for you as well.” Her gaze narrowed as she chose her words carefully. “Is that why you’re here tonight? Was it your brother who urged you to attend?”
Running a hand over his face, Nathanial stared at her. “How do you do this? How do you know exactly…?” He shook his head. “Yes, a friend of his invited me here tonight. He convinced me that…” His lips thinned, and Charlaine could see that leaving behind his worries was a constant struggle for him.
“Do you wish you were more like him?”
The look that came to his face belied that the thought was not foreign to him. “It seems an easier way to live.”
Charlaine shrugged. “Easier isn’t always better.”
“I’m confused,” Nathanial replied with a frown. “Earlier, it sounded as though you were in favor of…of being more daring, of taking chances, of—”
“Yes, if that is what you want!” she exclaimed. “If you feel the temptation, then by all means give in and see what happens. But don’t be someone you’re not.” She shook her head for emphasis. “Don’t ever be someone you’re not.”
His gaze narrowed as he watched her. “Now, you tell me something about yourself.”
Charlaine laughed at the daring gleam in his eyes. “Well, if you insist. I—”
A man stepped through the French doors and onto the terrace in that moment, his simple attire instantly revealing him as a servant. “Pardon me,” he said, and Charlaine tensed as she recognized him. “Miss—?”
“Yes, can we help you?” Charlaine interrupted before Jacob could foolishly blurt out her name. She hurried toward him. “Are you looking for someone?” It would seem something had happened that required Pierce’s attention or Albert would not have sent the young footman to retrieve him. She dropped her voice as she reached his side. “Lord Markham disappeared down that corridor over there,” she whispered, nodding her head in the general direction. She had glimpsed Pierce and Caroline in her rather revealing red gown slip away a while past.
“Thank you,” Jacob mumbled with a quick nod and then equally quickly disappeared.
Relieved, Charlaine turned back to Nathanial. She ought not lie to him, but she had the distinct feeling that knowing who she was would destroy the fragile bond that had formed between them. How she was to continue being his friend after tonight had her puzzled though. Perhaps with time a solution would reveal itself.
“Is everything all right?” Nathanial asked before he glanced over her shoulder. “Do you have to leave?”
“Not quite yet,” Charlaine replied as she returned to his side. She had noted a touch of regret in his voice at the suggestion that she might have to leave and was surprised to experience a gentle warmth at the thought that he enjoyed her company.
Especially after the way he had brushed her off the other day.
Even if everything would come crumbling down soon enough, Charlaine knew that coming here tonight had been the right thing to do. Not only was she enjoying herself, but now she also knew that she had been right about Nathanial. He would be a wonderful friend, and they felt good together.
Hopefully, he would come to see that as well.
After tonight.
Chapter Thirteen
An Adorable Man
Leisurely, the lady in gold leaned against the balustrade, her dark eyes distant as she thought. “Well, I had a sister,” she told him. “She was quite a few years older than me and her life always seemed a true wonderment to me.” A small smile played over her lips. “I used to watch her do ordinary things and marvel at how precious the moment seemed.” She sighed, and the smile upon her face deepened as her dark eyes settled on Nathanial’s. “And then I watched her fall in love. It happened in an instant. It was something she hadn’t planned, something she hadn’t seen coming. If she hadn’t gone to the market that day, at that time, she would never have met him.”
Drawn to her, Nathanial stepped closer, eager to hear more.
“But she did.” Utter joy stood in her eyes. “She did go and she met the love of her life and, from one moment to the next, life was different. It was powerful. I still remember that day as clearly as though it had happened yesterday. It was one of those moments you can never forget.”
Nathanial swallowed. After all, his mind clung to one of these moments as well, replaying it again and again, unable to forget, unable to let go. His moment, however, was not one he wished to remember. Unfortunately, it seemed he did not have a choice. “Do you believe they were fated to meet that day?”
Her shoulders shrugged. “I do, and I don’t.” A slow breath lifted her chest, and she licked her lips. “Perhaps some things are meant to be and others are not. Perhaps all that happens is merely a coincidence and people simply like to see more than there is. Does it matter? In the end, my sister did go to the market that day and so they did meet and,” her eyes met his, “they took a chance.”
Nathanial nodded. “They took a chance.”
“They did,” she said, and her hand came to rest upon his arm, soft and gentle, but whispering of a hidden strength Nathanial could not help but wish he himself possessed as well. “I think I believe in taking chances, in seizing the moment, in looking at the good instead of the bad.” She smiled up at him. “I think it’s the only way to ever truly be happy.”