“Felix, this is my husband, Jude. Jude, my new baker, Felix. Of course, you already know him, Apollo.”
“I do,” Apollo says.
Jude stands and offers his hand. “Nice to meet you, man.”
“You as well.”
“We’ll let you two lovebirds have a minute,” Apollo says, standing. “I'll entertain Felix.”
“Talk to you Monday,” Briar says.
“Yes.”
We leave the office and go into the one next to it.
“So it worked out with you and Briar?” Apollo asks, leaning on his desk and crossing his arms over his chest. Today, he’s wearing a gray T-shirt with a splattered black heart on it, the colorful ink on his arms on full display. His jeans are so tight, it’s not hard to see the bulge there.
“Euh, yes, it was a wonderful interview. I’m going to love it there. I can tell.”
“I thought so.” He studies me for a minute. “You look nice.”
“Thanks. So do you.”
“In jeans and a T-shirt?”
“Yes.”
“Thanks. We should celebrate. Dinner?”
I grin. “Tonight?”
“If you can.”
“I can.”
“Good. What are your plans as far as moving out? You gonna wait it out a bit?”
“No. I want to live near here I think.”
“Places are pretty expensive.” He laughs. “Right. Doesn't matter.”
“It does matter. I live off my earnings. I don’t use my trust fund unless I have to.”
“Just like Lucien.”
“It was his suggestion. Then we know we will always have a safety net for our later years, no?”
“Very smart. I would’ve blown through that in a year.”
“Impossible. Well, not impossible, I guess, but hard to do. I don’t know my salary yet, but when I get it from Briar, I will figure it out.”
“There are some cool places near me.”
“You can show me.”
“Good. Want to keep it casual tonight? Maybe get some tacos?”
I smile, nodding. “Yes, tacos. I would like that.”
“Cool. I’ll text you later.”
“Okay. Thank you again, Apollo. I really appreciate your help in getting my feet in the deep here.”
He tilts his head. “Um, did you mean getting your feet wet?”
“Oh.” I nod. "Yes, that’s it, I think. Is there some phrase with deep?”
“Jumping in the deep end?”
“Ah.” I smile. “That’s it. My idioms are rusty.”
“We’ll get you caught up. You know, it’s okay if you just speak like you.”
“It is so charming though. Genesis called me ‘boo’. I thought this was for lovers, no?”
Apollo chuckles. “Genesis calls everyone boo. It’s more like his generic term for everyone.”
“Ah. I see. Briar was so respectful. He asked for my pronouns. No one in Paris ever asked me that question. Americans are so awake, no?”
Apollo grins. “Woke. The term is woke.”
“Americans are woke? That is not grammatically correct.”
“No, it’s not.” He unfolds his arms, gripping the edge of his desk. “I should have asked your pronouns as well. Have they changed from before?”
“No. I use he/him.”
“Okay cool.”
“I learned on the internet, in a group I found, that I am gender non-conforming. I love that term. It embodies freedom to me. I can dress how I want, look how I want. I don’t give a fuck about gender norms, but I am still very much a man. I adore it, in fact. I love having a cock.”
Apollo laughs, throwing his head back. “I never thought about it like that, but yeah, I love having one too.”
“I’m obsessed with mine. They are nice, no?”
“Yeah. They are.”
His voice turns a little raspy on me, and now his cock is the only thing on my mind. “Well, I should go, and let you get back to work.”
“I’ll see you for dinner.”
“Yes.”
I turn to leave, but his voice stops me.
“Felix?”
“Yes?” I reply, twisting around to face him.
“When you were younger, you used to love to hug. Did you grow out of that?”
“No.”
“Oh. Good to know.”
A jittery laugh leaves my lips. “Tonight?”
“Yeah.”
Instead of leaving, I boldly walk toward him and open my arms. Apollo grins, righting himself and stepping into my embrace. He holds me close, giving me the chance to inhale his cologne. I’m shorter than him, so my chin barely reaches his shoulder, but I'm close enough to feel my entire body pressed against his.
This is lovely.
Perfect.
Dangerous.
I pry myself away, internally cursing my burning cheeks, giving me away once again.
“À plus tard,” I murmur.
“What?”
I chuckle, searching for my composure. “Later. See you later.”
“Ah, okay. See you tonight, Felix.”
“Yes.”
Once I step outside, I take a deep breath. Even the sticky summer air is welcome after nearly suffocating on lust. I have to get myself together, and I have to do it soon.
Apollo is not an option.
Someday, I might get the message.
Two
You Belong with Me
Or say you won’t let go
Apollo
“Soooo…” Luca says, leaning on the doorframe to my office. “Felix is cute.”
I look up from my payroll audit, chuckling. “He is.”
Luca sips his coffee, gazing at me with a smirk on his lips. “Option?”
“No.” I set my pen down. Over the last few months, Luca and I have bonded over coffee. We click, and I’ve come to consider him a friend. “If you remember Lucien, Felix is his brother. Lucien is extremely protective. I don’t think he’d go for it.”
“Oh. Got it. Too bad. I could see y’all vibing.”
“We do. We get along better than I thought.”
“Why better than you thought?”
“Ten year age difference. In my head, Felix was still a kid, but I was wrong. I don’t know about deeper things though. We’ve only been out once for dinner, and that was mostly just catching up. He might be in a different place in life than I am.”
“Which is what? You figure that out yet?”
I laugh, dragging my fingers through my too long hair. I need a haircut.
“Yeah, I figured it out. I’m ready for what you have. I want to fall in love, get married, settle down, ya know? My challenge, though, is I went too hard too fast on this dating men stuff.”
“I know. It can be hard. I was so frustrated before I met Cai and Gen. Sometimes I think you just gotta believe that your time is coming. All this bullshit is preparing you so when the perfect one shows up, you’ll not only know it, you’ll be ready for it.”
I nod. “Yeah. Good advice. Honestly, if Felix wasn’t Lucien’s brother, I would’ve asked him out already. Romantically. I’ve asked him out as friends, but that’s it.” I could see us together. We click. But I can’t go there.