“What do you mean, Apollo? We are having dinner, no?”
“It feels like a date.”
“It is a date. A friendship date.”
He won’t look at me, and his pink cheeks are a giveaway that he’s nervous.
“Felix? Look at me.”
“Yes, Apollo?”
“Tell me what you’re up to.”
He exhales. “You are not very good at just going with the tide.”
“Going with the flow?”
“Whatever. I am showing you that it is easy to date a man. You said you wanted help. I give help.”
“Sweet. So it is a date?”
Does that mean it ends with kissing? In my bed? Naked? And breakfast eight hours later.
“Why are you looking at me like that again?”
I shrug. “I’ll go with the flow, Felix.”
He looks pleased. “Good.”
Dinner is nice, and like the first two times we’ve been out the conversation flows, and I learn more about Felix.
“What about museums when you were in France?” I ask. “Did you go to them often?”
His nose scrunches as he sets his wine glass down. “Museums? Euh, no, not often. I went to the Louvre of course, because I think it is required if you step in the country. I went to Versailles to see the palace.” He smiles. “I always wanted to see it with my own eyes. I love history.”
“Was that cool?”
“Oh, yes, it was very nice.”
“So, no museums for fun. What did you do there then to relax?”
“Sleep.” He laughs softly. “I worked so much. I enjoyed more just to walk slowly, unhurried to sit in a park and eat a croissant or gaze up at the clouds.”
“What about at night? Do they have a big club scene there?”
“Oh yes. I went sometimes with friends.”
I watch him eat for a minute. I like his gestures, how he moves as if he’s gliding in water, smooth and untethered by gravity. He’s still talking as he cuts his steak, about France and parks and old historical buildings. He waves his hand holding the knife, pausing to stare ahead as if remembering then returning to his meal. Merely watching Felix speak is like watching my favorite movie. I can’t take my eyes off him.
After dinner, he drives me back to my house, but the feeling of longing, of somehow making this night last longer, grows in my chest. When we arrive, he stops the car and climbs out of his side, making me smile as he comes to my side to open my door.
“You are a true gentleman, Felix.”
“My father will be pleased to hear he taught me well.”
Felix and I walk to my door.
“Thank you for tonight, Felix. It was fun. I always have fun with you.”
His smile grows. “I enjoyed my time with you as well.”
“Would you like to come in for a drink?”
“I would very much, but I have to get up at three in the morning.”
“Oh, right.”
He puts his hand on my arm, his smile morphing from happiness to something seductive. “This is the part where if the date went well, you would kiss goodnight.”
I swallow hard. “Are you offering me a kiss, Felix?”
“I am. If you want it.”
No brainer. “I want it.”
“Bien.” He tilts his head up, pressing me back against the door as our bodies make contact. His lips brush over mine, softly, briefly before he pulls back, searching my eyes.
I am stunned. It was one of the most innocent kisses I’ve ever received, yet somehow the most impactful.
Felix looks astounded. Before I can say anything, he moves in again but this time his tentative touch is gone. His hand moves behind my neck, pulling my mouth to his. Our lips meet, the contact between us quickly becoming frenzied. His kiss is firm, his heart beating against my chest. When my lips part, he dives in, exploring my mouth as if searching for treasure.
I let my hands roam down his back then up again to tangle in his hair. A contented murmur leaves him, vibrating on my lips and sending shockwaves through my body. My dick swells, leaking precum, and I’m positive he can feel it pressed against him. I hold him closer as his hand moves to my ass, squeezing gently. Every sense of mine is held captive by Felix, his scent, soft and faintly floral, his textures and contrasts—soft, hard, smooth, rough, patience and demand—all wrapped up in this sexy man. His taste, if there are words for it I can’t find them, is beyond anything I would have imagined. It is just simply Felix.
“Come inside,” I whisper, still tasting his lips.
“I cannot.” He exhales, breaking the kiss. As he gazes up at me, a smile pulls at my lips. His pupils are blown, his lips puffy and damp from my kiss, and when my eyes wander down, his dick bulges against the zipper of his pants. “One step at a time, Apollo.”
I nod, dragging my fingers through my hair and trying to keep the tidal wave of desire at bay.
“That was incredible.”
Felix nods. “You had a bad kiss before. I wanted to be a good kiss.”
“You set the bar very high.” I cup his face. “Too high. I only want to kiss you now.”
Felix smiles. “Apollo…” He shakes his head. “Oh, the things I could tell you.”
“Are you happy we kissed?”
“Happy is not a good enough word. Thank you for allowing it.”
“Allowing it? Felix, I wanted it.”
He searches my eyes, nodding when he seems to find what he was looking for.
“I will leave you now. Perhaps we can do this again.”
“I have a question.”
“Yes?”
“I guess I’m confused. You said it was a friendship date, but we just kissed. I’ve never kissed any of my friends before.”
“That is not a question, Apollo.”
I laugh softly. “You’re right. It’s not. I guess I’m trying to figure out if we just moved beyond friends, and if we did, what does that look like for us.”
“Go with the flow, no? Can you do that?”
His evasive answer feels both exciting and frustrating. We have a lot of obstacles. Well, one actually. His name is Lucien.
“I’ll try.”
“Can you do something else for me?”
“Anything, Felix.”
“Trust me.” His hand moves to my waist, resting there. “I know what I am doing. You wanted a leader, someone to guide you, no?”
“Yep.”
“If you let me, I will lead you places you never imagined you would go. If you trust me…” He pauses, searching my eyes with that glimmer in his. “I will unlock all the secrets for you. I will show you what you have been missing.”
I nod. “I want that.”
“With me?”
“Absolutely.”
A flash of insecurity touches his face before he blinks it away. “You find me attractive?”
“I find you far more than attractive. I am…enraptured.”
A smile splits his lips. “I am flattered. I will tell you sometime what I think of you.”
“Why not now?”
“Because I will not tell you with words. I will show you with my touch.”
“Fuck,” I whisper. “You are so sexy.”