“I get it. To me, it’s about trust. If you trust the person you’re with, then it’ll be great. Briar knew I didn’t have experience with men so he was patient and let me go at my pace, which was all the way. Kind of how I do shit.”
I laugh, sipping my drink. “Not to get too personal, but um, I’m kind of looking forward to letting someone else lead for a change.”
“Yeah, it’s fucking nice. We’re pretty equal now. I’ve learned what I like and how to please him. I’ll tell you one thing, it’s amazing. It’s like discovering a universe you didn’t know existed. I was hooked immediately. Still am.”
“That sounds awesome.”
“Yeah. I hope it works out for you and Felix.”
“Me too. It’s a risk. He’s Lucien’s brother so if it didn’t work- awkward.”
“For sure. Briar was my best friend. It was a risk, but it paid off. Sometimes you just have to jump in head first.”
“Right. Thanks for talking about it.”
Jude pats my back. “No problem. Want to go dance with the guys?”
“Sure.”
We head over to the dance floor, leaving our drinks and table with Grey and his friend who seem content to sit and talk. I get behind Felix, who twists his head up to me with that smile on his face that makes me want to act a fool. I wrap my arms around his waist from behind, swaying our bodies together. Felix grips my arms, holding me closer even though my dick is already pressing against his ass.
We dance like this for the rest of the song until one of the big rap hits of the moment comes on. It seems to have an effect on Felix, Genesis, and Cairo, as the three of them giggle and start singing the rather obscene lyrics. I mean, I’ve heard the song, everyone has, but I’ve never heard it coming from a man’s mouth. The three of them are basically twerking and dancing, but when Felix starts grinding his luscious ass into my dick, my whole world seems to tilt on its axis. The music fades, our friends blur, and it’s me and him. Leaning down, I wrap my arm around his waist and twist him around so he’s facing me. He smiles, draping his arms around my neck and continuing his slow grind into me. Neither of us speaks. It isn’t necessary. He knows exactly what I want. As the song ends, the loud din around me forces its way back into my awareness.
“I want to go home,” I whisper.
“We just got here, mon chouchou.”
“I know. I want to be alone with you.”
Felix cups my cheek and presses a soft kiss to my lips. I’m just now noticing with his heels on he’s the same height as me.
“Sometimes, mon amour, we have to wait to get the things we want the most. We have to pine and desire and want.” He bites my bottom lip, causing lightning bolts to shoot through me. “When we get that elusive thing we have wanted for so long, it is even sweeter than we could have imagined.”
“Felix...you’re killing me.”
“No, I would never. Do you know, Apollo, what I would do for your happiness?”
“Show me. Let’s go home.”
He searches my eyes. His, green and sexy behind thick lashes and dark eyeshadow, seem to reach into the depths of my soul.
“I have a secret,” he says. “Remember I said you could have all of mine?”
“Yeah.”
“I want to stay in this space with you just a little bit longer.”
“What space? The club?”
“No. This space of wanting. I want you to desire me to a point where you can desire nothing else. No food, no water, no air. Just me, Apollo. Then you can have me.”
“Fuck. You’re doing this on purpose.”
“Of course.”
“To tease me? Torture me?”
“No.” He reaches up and drags his fingers through my hair. “It is how I have desired you all these years. More than anyone else. More than anything else. I never thought I could have you because I did not know your discovery about yourself. I believed I would have to drown in my desire for eternity. I knew anyone else I chose would always be the second option because the first was unattainable.”
My heart is racing. “But you can have me now.”
“Yes, c’est magnifique.” He tilts his head. “But Apollo, we will not be the same in the morning as we are now. You will call me lover, amour, and I will be yours. Everything changes.”
“I know, Felix. I want it to change. I want you. What do I have to do or say to show you?”
The confidence that is always present slips away, and the Felix from ten years ago appears. “I am a little afraid.”
“Of what, babe?”
“You will not like it. You have not been with a man before. I am a confident lover. I am sure I can be pleasing to you, but you do not know what your reaction will be. It makes me a little hesitant even though I want it more that I can find words to express.”
In that moment, Jude’s words come rushing back. “It-it’s about trust, Felix. I know you’ll be patient and teach me how to please you. How to be pleased by you. I trust you.” I cup his face, kissing him, not caring that we’re standing in the middle of a dance floor with our friends around us. “I desire you more than I’ve ever wanted another person. I know what I’m asking for, and I want this change. I want to be lovers by the morning.”
His features relax and he smiles. “I have one more secret.”
“Tell me.”
“I have fantasies about you. I intend to make them come true starting tonight.”
“Please.”
As we say goodbye, and I ignore the many curious glances from our friends, I grab Felix’s hand and practically drag him through the club. My earlier clarity of trying to take it slow and deliberate went out the door the minute Felix started dancing on me, whispering all those words of desire and want, and telling me we’ll be lovers in that fucking sexy ass voice of his. I’m done for. I’m all in. I’ll deal with Lucien whenever I deal with him. We’re adults for fuck’s sake. I’ll just keep telling myself that instead of focusing on my best friend’s impending wrath.
I drive to my house, trying to mind the speed limit while blocking out the gorgeous being beside me. He seems calm, singing along to the radio, but all I can think about is that I’m going to touch a dick tonight that is not mine. This is some epic shit. It’s like losing your virginity all over again, and just like the first time, I am here for it.
When I pull into my garage, I take a deep breath, and wait for Felix to join me. I open the door that leads into my kitchen.
“Do you want some water or—”
Felix is on me, pressing me against the counter, and attacking my mouth. He kisses me so hard, my breath catches. “Bedroom,” he murmurs.
Leaning down, I scoop him up, earning a giggle. We continue kissing as I walk us through the house to my bedroom. When we arrive, I toss him on the bed, gazing down at him.
“What now, Felix? You wanted to lead, and I want to follow.”
The sexiest smirk I’ve seen yet spreads across his lips. He pulls himself off the bed then points to it. “On the bed, amour.”
I nod enthusiastically, taking his place. Leaning back on my elbows, I watch in awe as Felix drags his fingers through his hair, letting it fall in silky waves.