“Harper. Come and sit with us. Have a coffee,” Emily said, radiating goodness as she pulled out a spare chair next to her.
“Erm… Okay. Maybe just one.”
I sat down, trying to look sane even though I felt like a freak. I didn’t know how to act anymore. I couldn’t stop shaking.
“Harper, this is Liv and Effy. Girls, this is Harper.”
I gave them a forced smile.
“You’re Brodie’s twin sister,” Liv blurted out, her eyes like saucers.
“I think she already knows that, Liv,” Emily snapped and then turned to me. “How are you feeling?” She reached out and rubbed over my hand. This girl liked physical contact, which was something I’d always struggled with. Even before losing Brodie.
“I dunno,” I said, keeping my eyes on my lap and shrugging. “I get up. I get through the day. Then I go to bed. That’s pretty much my life right now.”
Shit. I was being way too honest.
“You’re so brave to come out today,” Effy said, then blushed as if she was supposed to wait to be addressed before speaking to me.
“My mum wanted me to get out. I forced myself.”
I didn’t know why I was opening up to them. I didn’t know them from Adam. What did they care about my life?
“You should be proud of yourself. That’s a big step.” Emily reached over and squeezed my hand again. I sat there, dumbstruck. What else was I supposed to say? My conversation skills were seriously lacking, and I didn’t want to make the effort. I needn’t have worried though. Emily and her friends could talk the hind leg off a donkey.
“I’ll go get us some more coffees. What are you having, Harper?” Liv asked.
“A latte would be great. Thanks.” I went to grab my purse to give her some money, but she brushed me off.
“I’m not taking your money. Put it away. You can get us a drink next time.”
Was there going to be a next time?
“So, what’ve you got planned for tonight then? Spill!” Effy said, turning to Emily.
“Ryan is taking me out. It’s our date night. We don’t get much privacy these days. Don’t get me wrong, I love living at Sean’s, but we have to get creative with our alone time, if you know what I mean. Connor doesn’t care, but I don’t like doing stuff when Sean’s about.”
“Show Harper your dress.” Effy grinned then turned to look at me. “We just went to try on dresses and Em bought the cutest outfit for tonight. Show her, Em.”
Emily stiffened slightly.
“I don’t think Harper is bothered about my dress. She has more important things on her mind.”
I did, but I shrugged. Maybe a bit of normality was in order.
“I don’t mind. I’d like to see it. I can’t remember the last time I bought a dress. I live in ripped jeans, hoodies, and Converse these days.”
“Nothing wrong with that. I love a good pair of Converse.” Emily gave me a wink. Then she pulled out a chiffon and silk blue baby doll dress covered in delicate glitter. It was so pretty and unlike anything I’d ever wear. But I liked it. It suited Emily down to the ground.
“Now that is a fucking dress,” Liv said, placing the tray of coffees down on the table. “Doubt it’ll stay on long though. Good job it’s not a tight bodycon, hey. Better access, if you know what I mean.” She cackled at her own innuendo and the other two blushed.
I sat watching them, fascinated by the dynamics at play. Liv seemed to be more confident and louder. Effy was quieter and more reserved. And Emily? She was a mix of the two. Not in your face, but welcoming all the same. I was starting to warm to her. Only a little bit, but it was something.
“Do you know where he’s taking you?” Effy asked.
“I couldn’t care less,” Emily replied. “I don’t need anything fancy.”
“What? You bought that dress so he could shag you on the back seat of his van?” Liv rolled her eyes.
“No. Maybe.” Em chuckled.
“Ugh! I’m so jealous.” Liv threw her head back and groaned. “At least one of us is getting some action. I could make a joke about camel toes and being as dry and barren as the Sahara Desert, but I won’t gross you out while you’re all drinking.”
“Yeah, thanks for that image, Liv. Nice one.” Emily laughed, almost choking on her latte.
“You know you can get creams for that,” Effy whispered, and then went bright red again.
“I was joking, Eff. You know me. If I’m getting no action, I’ll make my own. Speaking of which, did you see the photos of those new vibrators I sent you on WhatsApp? Bloody amazing.” Liv started to tap on her phone and show Effy what she’d already sent her. Effy pretended to look interested, but she just looked awkward.
“Put your dildos away, Liv. Harper didn’t come to sit with us to find out about your latest purchase.”
“She saw yours.” Liv shrugged.
“It was a dress not a twelve-inch rubber cock,” Emily blurted out, and I couldn’t hold back my laugh.
“It’s silicone not bloody rubber. Anyway, maybe Harper would prefer dildos to dresses. You get more use out of them.”
I sipped my coffee to avoid having to answer and let them prattle on, talking about anything and everything. They chatted for ages, and even though I didn’t contribute all that much, they didn’t make me feel bad about staying quiet. I quite liked playing the role of a girl with no worries for a while. This was all new for me.
After a while, I said my goodbyes and left, telling Emily I hoped she had a good date night, and Liv that I hoped she enjoyed her special purchase too. Emily sprang out of her chair to hug me before I went. I’d never really been a hugger, but I didn’t push her away. I didn’t want to be rude.
As I walked back to my car, the sick feeling that was always heavy and stagnant in my stomach felt less overwhelming. I was proud of myself. I’d gone out, had coffee, and made some conversation. Maybe I wasn’t a total freak after all.
When I got home, I made my way upstairs to my room and logged onto the chat.
LadyStoneheart23 has joined the chat.
HangingWithMyGnomies- I feel like that some days. Sometimes it’s enough that you made it to the end of the day, mate.
Regina_Phalange – Alan, I lost my sister two years ago and I still cry most days. Coming on here is the release I need sometimes.
Fucking_Alan- Fucking sucks.
Regina_Phalange- Whatever gets you through the day. As long as it isn’t illegal or harmful to your health, that is.
Fucking_Alan- Today’s a fucking right-off. I’m gonna log off and do a John Wick marathon. Or maybe I’ll go old school and do The Matrix.
HangingWithMyGnomies- You do you, bud. Always here if you need us.
Legion has joined the chat.
My heart jumped into my throat when I saw his name pop up and then the private chat box appeared below.
Legion – You okay?