LadyStoneheart23 – Yeah. You weren’t joking about that bat call, were you?
Legion- Always here when you need me. So, what’s up?
LadyStoneheart23- I took your advice. Went out and had a coffee with his best friend’s girlfriend of all people.
Legion. How did it go?
LadyStoneheart23- Surprisingly… not awful. She’s actually really nice. She made me feel welcome and… normal, I guess.
Legion- Do you like feeling normal?
LadyStoneheart23- That’s a weird question. But actually, I don’t think I’ll ever be normal. I always felt a little bit crazy even before my brother died.
Legion- Good. Normal is overrated. And what is normal, anyway? One guy’s normal is another guy’s crazy.
LadyStoneheart23- I’m thinking you lie further in the crazy camp than the normal one.
Legion- What gave me away?
LadyStoneheart23- Apart from your name meaning you’re possessed by demons? Lol. The way you seem to not give a fuck.
Legion- I don’t.
LadyStoneheart23- I like that.
Legion- Makes life a lot simpler.
LadyStoneheart23- I need to take a leaf out of your book. I want to not give a fuck.
Legion- But then you wouldn’t be being true to yourself. You’re the little warrior. Warriors who don’t give a fuck are dangerous.
LadyStoneheart23- I want to be dangerous.
Legion- I think you’re better off being smart. Leave the danger to knuckleheads like me.
LadyStoneheart23- You’re not a knucklehead.
Legion- I am.
LadyStoneheart23- Knuckleheads don’t quote the bible and Machiavelli.
Legion- This one does.
LadyStoneheart23- Why are you helping me?
Legion- I like you. You have a voice that needs to be heard. Power that needs to be unleashed. I want to help you with that.
LadyStoneheart23- You don’t know anything about me.
Legion- I know you loved your brother and you’d do anything to avenge his death, so that makes you a loyal sister. I know you take time to sit back and listen, read about how others are feeling on here and you choose your words carefully. That shows you’re kind and thoughtful. You take time out of your day to speak to a no-mark like me, so that means you’re selfless. And each day you wake up, not knowing what shit the world is going to drop on you. That makes you brave beyond belief. See? You’re my little warrior. I know more than you realise.
LadySyoneheart23- Erm… speechless right now. That’s some of the nicest shit anyone has ever said to me.
Legion- Meh. I’m a smooth-talking knucklehead too.
LadyStoneheart23- And I know nothing about you. Tell me something about yourself. Something that no one else knows.
I sat and watched the blank screen, worried that my question had scared him off. He didn’t reply for a while and then a message popped up and I let go of the breath I’d been holding.
Legion- The last memory I have of my mother is her screaming into my face that she hated me and wished I was dead.
LadyStoneheart23- Fuck. That’s brutal. I’m so sorry.
Legion- I was three years old.
LadyStoneheart23- She must’ve been high. No mother would ever truly think that about their child.
Legion- She was high, but she meant it. She hated me.
LadyStoneheart23- I’m sure she didn’t. How did you get over that?
Legion- I didn’t.
LadyStoneheart23- Oh, God. I actually wish I could climb through my screen and hug you, and I hate hugging.
Legion- That’s not the worst memory either, just one I’ve never shared with anyone.
LadyStoneheart23- If you ever want to share some of the worst, I’m here. I’m no counsellor but I know what it’s like to keep shit bottled up. It’s not good.
Legion- I don’t think anyone is ready for that kind of darkness, least of all you, little warrior. We’re supposed to be focusing on building you up, not loading more onto your shoulders.
LadyStoneheart23- But it might help you heal.
Legion- Heal. I resigned myself to the fact that I’ll never heal a long time ago. I have scars on my body but it’s the ones inside, the scars that people don’t see, that hurt the worst. They’re the ones that’ll never heal. They’ll never go away. I’ve got a lot of those. I’m a lost cause. A tortured soul.
I felt my chest grow heavy with sadness, imagining some disfigured guy sat at a computer somewhere pouring his heart out to me. A guy who felt ugly inside and out. But it didn’t matter to me what he looked like. Beauty came in all different forms. For me, it came from inside. And right then, he was the most beautiful person because of what he was doing; trying to make me feel good about myself and being a warrior himself too.
LadyStoneheart23- I think you should wear your scars with pride. They’re your battle scars. Proof that you’re a survivor.
Legion- I had to survive a lot more than just my mother.
LadyStoneheart23- Oh?
Legion- And that is a conversation for another day.
LadyStoneheart23- Little steps.
Legion- Little steps indeed. You did good today. Smile. Hold your head high and fuck them all.
LadyStoneheart23- I’m glad you messaged me.
Legion- I’m glad I found you. Goodbye, little warrior.
I had a secret.
His name was Legion.
And slowly but surely, I could feel myself starting to open up to him; to the idea of him. He made me feel hopeful for a new day. Excited about when our next chat would be. And gave me butterflies just by reading or whispering his name.
He was my secret.
Just for me.
Only me.
I’d waited long enough.
I was tired of living in the shadows.
Every dog has its day and mine was about to get wild. I bloody loved it.