“Mine too.”
There were many things I was unsure of, but as I stared at my husband sitting across from me, there was a feeling that consumed my chest.
It was love.
And in that moment, I knew without a doubt in my mind that I couldn’t hurt this man.
Forty-Six
“Today, you’re going to fall in love with Amsterdam,” Oliver said as he kissed across my cheek. His arm wrapped over my shoulders as we walked away from my hotel, enough distance that my coworkers couldn’t see us.
A tiny bit of sun was peeking through the clouds, and it was dancing in my eyes as I gazed at him. “You’re going to make sure of that, huh?”
He nodded. “I promise, sweet girl.”
“Are you going to tell me what you have planned?”
He smiled as he turned us right, and we headed down this long section of the canal where the small bridges crossed to our left, connecting us to the next street. Knowing I wasn’t going to get an answer, I clasped my fingers through his.
The only thing Oliver had told me about today was that he wanted me to dress warm. Under my jacket, I was wearing my thickest sweater, and there were UGGs on my feet. As we walked over the dark brick pavers of the sidewalk, I leaned my face into his shoulder, smelling his familiar scent, and I opened my eyes to what was before me—the most beautiful homes lining the canals and people riding their bicycles along the sidewalks and banks. There was the scent of food lingering in the crisp, cold air. I squeezed him a little harder and glanced at his profile. My heart clenched, and I knew there was nothing he could show me in this city that would be more beautiful than him.
Our eyes connected, and his lips gently pressed to mine.
“Just down here,” he said when he pulled away, and he led us to the side of the closest bridge and to the dock that sat at the base of the water.
A boat was parked at the end, the captain standing outside, facing us.
“A canal cruise?” I asked Oliver as we stepped onto the dock.
“Best way to see the city.”
I smiled, thanking him, and he released me just as the captain took my hand, assisting me down the three narrow steps of the boat.
He said, “Welcome,” once I was inside. He pointed toward the rear and added, “Food and refreshments are in the galley. Make yourself at home.”
As Oliver came in behind me, I stopped in the center of the cabin, where there were finger sandwiches, quiche, fruit, and a vanilla cake with strawberries. To the side, chilling on ice, was a bottle of champagne.
“It’s beautiful,” I whispered when his fingers touched my waist. I turned around to face him, my arms circling his neck. “You’re amazing.”
His hand dropped down my back, squeezing my ass before he gave it a light smack. “Take a seat. I’ll pour us drinks.”
Still grinning, I went over to the cushioned bench that ran the whole length of the galley and sat in the middle. I watched him pop the cork off the bottle and pour some of the bubbly into glasses. When he came in next to me, he handed me one.
“What are we toasting to?”
“Contract renewals.” He smiled, his eyes smoldering. “And to you loving this city of hope.”
“Cheers,” I whispered, and I brought the drink to my lips.
As the engine began to hum and we pulled away from the dock, Oliver’s arm went around my neck, and he settled my back against his chest. The wind howled as it came through the thin windows of the boat, blowing my hair, and I understood why he’d asked me to bundle up.
We weren’t more than a few blocks away when he pointed at a building. “Do you remember eating there?”
My eyes followed his finger, and I recognized the stone entryway and the beige sign from my last trip to Amsterdam. “Those truffle fries,” I groaned.
“That restroom stall,” he moaned back.
I laughed, clinging my fingers to his elbow as it rested over my breast, and I thought of when he had taken me into that restroom. We’d snuck off between our appetizers and the main course, and then we’d straightened our clothes and went back to our table like I hadn’t cried out an orgasm in the men’s room just moments before.
Oliver’s lips moved to my ear, and he said softly, “You could have this for another six months.”
He was referring to the contract renewal I’d received. The offer was almost identical to the one I had now, except the pay was considerably higher. Since each member of my team was given the same amount, we’d been discussing the details together at work.
“It would be lovely,” I replied, staring out the window as we glided over the water, through the narrow waterway.
“With your last trip scheduled for next month, I suspect you have to make a decision soon?”
I nodded against his chest. “I do.”
I couldn’t believe I was at the five-month mark already and how much had happened since I signed the first contract.
How I was in this boat right now with Oliver, and just days ago, I had been in Boston with Lance.
How Oliver had spent the night in my bed last night, how Lance and I had been talking about spending my birthday in Florida.
How Amsterdam was absolutely perfect with Oliver.
And Boston was perfect with Lance.
But I knew I had to make some decisions soon even if they were going to be impossible. I just couldn’t keep going on like this. My mind was constantly a mess, and it wasn’t fair to both of the men I loved.
I sat up and took one of the small sandwiches off the plate, biting the end before holding it up to Oliver’s mouth so he could eat the rest. As I was reaching for a strawberry, I felt my phone vibrate multiple times, letting me know several messages had come through. I turned my body just a little to access my back pocket, where I kept my phone, and entered my password. When I clicked on my texts, the first message that came up was from my husband.
Lance: Ten days, baby. Miss you.
I stared at his words, swallowing, trying to fill my lungs as I heard, “Sweet girl.”
Slowly, I glanced up and stared at the icy-blue eyes that were gazing into mine, and I begged for some breath before I said, “Yes?”
“Can you grab me a napkin?”
I tried inhaling again and searched the table, handing him a few paper ones that I’d found. Then, I put my phone away and added more champagne to my glass, leaning into Oliver’s body again.
“How about some cake?”
I shook my head. There was no way I could put food in me. “I’m not much of a cake girl.”
He hugged me against his chest as we slowed under the bridges, and I listened to the captain point out several of the historic landmarks as I tried to clear my mind.
“I’ll get you some chocolate chip cookies,” he said when the captain finished. “I know a bakery that’s not far from where we’re docking.” He kissed my cheek, and I felt a wave of heat move over me. “The owner is British and makes the best sticky toffee pudding.”
I wrapped my fingers around his arm. “I’ll have to try some.”
“We’ll get some hot chocolate too. It’s fucking divine there.”
A memory flashed through my head of Vail and the candy store Lance had sent me to.