But really, what I was deep down inside was a woman completely in love with two men.
Me: I hope you’re having the sweetest dreams. I love you.
I set my phone on the nightstand, and I walked to the shower, where I knew the water would never be hot enough again.
Forty-Five
As I thought of the photo Oliver had sent me this morning of himself, a smile moved across my face, and I stepped out of my closet and into my bathroom, not realizing Lance was standing just a few feet away.
My heart seized, my grin changing for my husband, and our stares connected in the mirror.
“Hi.”
His eyes slowly dipped down my body. “I loved waking up to you this morning.”
“I’m happy to be back,” I said, still wearing my grin as I searched for my breath.
I walked to the vanity and grabbed my diamond studs.
A gift for our first wedding anniversary.
While I was screwing in the back to the first earring, my stomach tightened as I recalled the moment when Lance had gifted them to me in Florida. And just as I was sliding in the second diamond, he came up behind me, hands crossing over my stomach.
His face dived in my neck where he inhaled. “You smell incredible.”
I laughed as his nose grazed a sensitive part of my skin. “If you wrinkle me, you’re dead.”
Both of us were in black suits, but mine was with a teal lacy shell and dangerously high heels, and his was with a crisp white button-down and a red-and-black-striped tie.
“But you know I love to iron,” he growled. “What time will you be home from work tonight?”
I shook my head, fixing my hair now that my jewelry was on. “Hopefully not too late.”
“I can always have Anthony pick you up at the office and take you straight to the restaurant.”
I paused, dropping the large curls I’d been fixing around my face. “What restaurant?”
“Mistral.”
I turned toward him, the reflection in the mirror not showing me enough. “You mean tonight?”
He searched my eyes before he said, “Yes, we’re having dinner with Marshall and Molly.”
My chest began to tighten, my heart pounding so fast that I couldn’t breathe. Everything hurt, and it was moving into my throat like a bull coming out of the gate. “Why would you schedule that?” I snapped.
His hand moved to my shoulder, rubbing into the muscle. “Chloe, we’ve had a standing reservation for the last Thursday of every month for two years.”
Even though we texted every day and we’d spoken a few times, I didn’t want to see Molly. I hadn’t since our talk. I just wasn’t ready because I knew all she’d have to do was look at my face, and she would know what was happening with Oliver.
And the idea of seeing her with Lance … I just couldn’t handle that yet.
Especially because I’d practically moved in with Oliver since the morning after the sex show.
I stared into Lance’s navy eyes and replied, “I’m too exhausted to do anything.”
“We’ll get you to bed as soon as we get home from dinner.”
My brows rose, the gate opening in my throat. “I’m certainly not going to do that because I’m not going to dinner.”
“Chloe …”
A weight was pushing on the center of my chest.
It was almost unbearable.
And it was making my entire body shake.
“Lance, why wouldn’t you confirm with me first?” My voice was rising, and I couldn’t stop it. “You know how tired I’ve been, my God.”
He laughed as he stared at me. “Don’t you think you’re being a little unreasonable? You’ve never passed on a night out with Molly—ever.”
His laugh set me off even worse. “I’m so fucking burned out; I can’t even see straight. How dare you call me unreasonable.”
“Baby”—his hands went to my cheeks while my chest heaved—“what is going on?”
What is going on?
I was losing control and taking it out on him.
And I knew how wrong that was, but I couldn’t stop.
“I’m so stressed …” I whispered, the tears immediately forming in my eyes, pooling quickly, and brimming over my lids. But Lance was there to catch them before any hit my lips. “I have this huge presentation tomorrow morning, and today’s the run-through. I’m sorry; it’s not good for me to go out tonight.”
I saw the concern pass over his face.
“Don’t worry about it.” He pressed his lips to mine and added, “I’ll take care of it.” He searched my eyes one last time, holding my face even tighter. “We’ll have a quiet night in.”
A knot wedged in my throat, stabbing me as I said, “Thank you.”
He kissed me once more before he left the bathroom, and I went over to the sink, turning on the water, but I didn’t stick my hands beneath the stream.
I didn’t even look at it.
I just needed the noise before I completely lost my fucking mind.
I concentrated on the sounds, the drips, the splashes, and somehow, I was able to calm my heart down and find my breath. And I straightened my suit jacket and skirt and made my way out of the master suite.
I was halfway to the kitchen when I heard Lance on the phone, saying, “We’re not going to be able to make it.” He paused. “Chloe is exhausted from the trip, and she has an important presentation in the morning she has to prepare for.” I stayed by the wall, listening, assuming he was talking to Marshall. “The traveling is hard on her,” he said, and then, “Sounds good. I’ll see you at work.”
I filled my lungs as deeply as I could and continued walking, our eyes locking as I made my way into the kitchen.
“I called Marshall about dinner. He understood and said maybe we can do it next week.” He took half of a grapefruit out of the fridge and a spoon from the drawer.
“I’ll make it up to them.”
He took a seat at the bar across from me, and just as he scooped out the first section of fruit, a text came through my phone. Since messages no longer showed on my screen—something I’d programmed a few months ago—I had to open the Messages app to see the text.
Molly: You’re canceling dinner?
Me: So many late nights and early mornings trying to get this brand launched. I’m just exhausted, Molly.
Molly: Okay. Miss you.
Me: xoxo
I glanced up from my phone, seeing his eyes on me, and said, “I’m going to be late for work.” I walked over to his side of the counter and put my arm around his shoulders, pressing my lips against the softness of his cheek. “I’m sorry.” I took a breath, keeping my lips on him. “I’ll see you tonight.”
His hand brushed across my waist. “Have a good day, baby.”
“This is amazing,” I groaned as I chewed the Mongolian beef with scallions that Lance had picked up from Chinatown after work.
He’d also brought home an order of braised eggplant and sweet and sour pork, and those were just as delicious.
“These are my favorite kind of nights,” he said as he reached across the table, spearing the broccoli that I’d left in a pile on the side, “when we get to stay in and have time together.” He watched me with the biggest smile, his jeans and untucked button-down looking so sexy on him.