Before Sienna can answer me, our conversation is cut short by the slamming of the back door and the sound of heavy feet traipsing through the kitchen.
“Motherfucker!” Caleb’s voice calls out, causing both Sie and I to jump up from the couch and hurry toward it.
His hand slams down hard on the counter and with it he tosses a large manila envelope. “Fuck!” he yells out now, reaching up and banging an open cabinet closed. With his elbows resting on the counter, his head falls between his arms, and I watch his body heave with each breath he takes.
“Caleb, what happened?” Sienna asks, the sympathy radiating from her words, but it does nothing to ease the tension that now fills the room.
“What happened?” His words are sour, his expression matching and all he does is shake his head. “This fucking happened,” he now says, thrusting the envelope at Sienna and storming out of the room.
She looks at me, her eyes as wide as saucers and her throat shifts as she swallows hard and opens the envelope.
“What’s it say?” I whisper, trying to keep my words quiet, but the need to know is burning inside me.
“It’s a civil case. He’s being sued by Professor Keller for damages from the assault,” Sienna says, and I swear I hear her wrong.
This can’t be happening. Ed told us he’d only be dealing with the criminal case brought against him by the state and even that was going to go away. Caleb doesn’t have a record. He isn’t a violent person and all of this was supposed to be gone after his hearing next week. This was supposed to be a forgotten memory.
“How…” I start, the word a stuttered mess, incoherent and unable to fully express what I need to say. “This can’t…”
“Fuck, Ruby. He’s suing for over two million dollars. We don’t have two million dollars.” Her head falls into her hands, her body now wracked with sobs and as much as I want to console her, this isn’t about her. It’s about Caleb and I’ve left him to deal with this on his own.
“Call Reid and tell him what’s happened,” I instruct, even though he’s off with some of his football buddies. It doesn’t matter though.
I take the papers and the envelope from her hand and walk to the bedroom where Caleb has sought solace. There’s no way it’s worked given this news. I can only imagine what he’s feeling right now. He was served at work, embarrassed and panicked. He may have even had a panic attack without anyone there to help him through it.
I knock on the door softly, not wanting to just barge in and startle him, but he doesn’t answer. I can’t walk away and act like he didn’t storm into the house with something that could possibly break him.
“Caleb,” I call, knocking again. “I’m coming in.”
His back is to the door; he’s looking out the window and still hasn’t acknowledged me. I’m sure his thoughts are a mess right now, jumbled and overworked, wondering just when any of this will end.
“Are you okay?” I ask, realizing how stupid the words sound as they leave my mouth.
“No, Ruby, I’m not fucking okay,” he hisses, the harshness biting at my skin, but reminding me he’s not angry with me. I’m the one who’s here, the one who’s stayed and the one who will continue to stay.
For every challenge he’s been met with, he’s been left alone to deal with it. He has no idea how to include me other than pushing me away.
I rest my head against his back, my arms circling his waist, but I say nothing more. I wait for him to talk. I wait for him to realize I’m not leaving. I wait for him to know he needs me, that we need each other.
He doesn’t turn in my arms or touch me, but he hasn’t pulled away as he begins to speak.
“They served me at work, Ruby. At my fucking job because it’s like they knew it would be the one place they could catch me off guard.”
I’ve learned not to respond when he starts talking. It slows the process and he tends to shut down so I just let him speak, a stream of consciousness falling from his mouth in admissions and embarrassment.
“The fucking guy sat at the bar and talked to me for over an hour like he was just waiting for the moment to verify who I was. And then he just dumped the fucking papers and spewed his spiel in front of all the customers, in front of Adam and one of the waitresses.” His body goes rigid and his breathing becomes hard and ragged. “I’m going to lose my fucking job, Ruby.”
“You’re not,” I whisper, words of encouragement that are lost in the rage that fills the room.
“I am and I’m going to lose everything because of this.”
“Have you called Ed?” I ask, feeling like this would be the first call he’d make, but knowing it isn’t.
“No, Ruby, I haven’t called Ed,” he responds, bitterly, the condescending repetition making me aware he’s bothered by me trying to help.
“I think you need to. As much as you’re pissed off right now and you’re going to snap at me and take this out on me, I’m still going to be here telling you to call your lawyer. He’ll know what to do.”
He finally turns in my arms, facing me now, but not looking at me. He rests his cheek on top of my head, letting out a hard sigh.
“You are hard to like sometimes,” he deadpans, and my mouth quirks up in a simple smile.
“Like you’re so easy to like.”
“I love you and I’m sorry,” he now says. “I feel like this is some shitty cycle we’re in where I’m a dick and then I apologize and you’re just okay with it.”
“It’s not a cycle. It’s part of all of this and eventually it won’t happen anymore when you work with your therapist and learn how to deal with your feelings.”
“Speaking of, she should probably be my next call after Ed.”
Just hearing him say he’s going to call his therapist is a huge step in the right direction. Even just a week ago it would’ve been an argument and he would’ve avoided the conversation. Something is changing, something is happening to push him to make these choices.
I just hope it’s not only because of me. I hope he’s doing this for himself, too.
Chapter Eighteen
Caleb
It feels like I’m a fucking punch bag at this point. Just when I think I’m finally getting a tiny bit of my shit together, taking one small step toward normalcy, something comes along and punches me hard in the gut.
Ruby’s arms squeeze around me and as much as I wish I could hide all of this from her, because honestly, it’s fucking embarrassing everything that’s happening, I know I can’t. And truth be told, I need her. Badly.
“We’ll get through this,” she says, her cheek resting against my chest.
I exhale. “Doesn’t feel like it.”
Ruby pulls back and looks up at me. “Call Ed,” she says, her words matter of fact. “He’ll know what to do.”
Exhaling, I pull my phone from my pocket as Ruby watches me, scrolling through until I find his number. “Stay?” I ask, as I hit the redial button.
Ruby nods and takes my hand in hers as I lift my phone to my ear.
“Caleb, hi,” Ed says as soon as he picks up. “I was just about to call you.”