But before he can strike, a wall of fire blasts between us. He keeps running straight through it, untouched, but when he swings his sword, it hits the shaft of Johann’s halberd. He shouts and tries to push through, but Jay comes up behind him and thrusts one of his knives at Devin’s open back.
Devin whips around to strike at Jay, but Jay’s fast enough to avoid Devin’s angry swings. And as soon as his attention’s on Jay, Johann comes up on his side for another attack.
Devin hisses in pain as her blade catches his arm. He retreats a few steps.
I don’t think I’ve ever been so relieved to see two people in my life. When they turn to face me, my eyes burn. I didn’t think I’d miss them so much, but now that they’re here in front of me, it takes everything I have to hold back my exhaustion from the past few months’ charade and not collapse against them. I can’t even get the words out.
“Glad to finally have you back,” Johann says. She looks tired, but the fire that’s always burned in her eyes seems to grow brighter. “Now we all just need to get out of here.”
Devin lifts his sword again with a sneer. “We’ll see about that.”
Joan and Cal step forward to back him up. Gabriel just watches, still looking lost, and I can’t bring myself to meet his gaze even though he’s trying so hard to get me to. Ellis closes her eyes, and when she looks up again, she’s back to usual herself. Her sadness is already gone. She’s hard as steel once more.
I tense. There’s no way the three of us can beat the four of them—not while protecting Lai, too. More Order members are gathering around us, but they’re beat. We all are. We’re not going to make it.
Devin takes a step forward.
A girl materializes out of thin air in front of the rebels. Lesedi, the head scout. “Sara—the military is on its way.”
Ellis freezes. “What?”
“A huge force—fully armed, headed straight here, maybe ten minutes away. There’s enough of them that we’ll take heavy losses if it turns into a fight—we wouldn’t be able to escape without them following us back to base, either. We need to go.”
Lesedi finally looks around and blinks. She has a bad habit of popping up in the middle of things without checking the situation first, but for the first time, I’m glad for it. Her attention stays on me, standing with the Order members, before she turns back to Ellis.
Everyone’s watching the rebel leader. No one on our side moves, waiting for the trick.
Finally, Ellis looks up. Her eyes are on me when she says, “Fall back.”
“What?” Devin demands. “Are you kidding? We can wipe out the Order and a traitor right here and now! There’s nothing stopping us from taking them out for good!”
“No. We’ve accomplished what we came to.” Ellis has already turned her back on us as she walks away. “Our friends are injured, and we won’t stand a chance against a fresh military attack force. Besides, the Order is already as good as dead. We’re going.”
“But—”
“Did you not understand?” Ellis’s voice drips venom. “I said, we’re retreating. If you choose to stay and fight alone, I won’t mourn your death.”
Devin hesitates, but not for long. He throws one last murderous glare at us before reluctantly joining Ellis, along with Cal and Joan. None of them look back. Gabriel is still trying to get me to meet his eyes, but I can’t. Seeing the betrayal on his face might just break me. Finally, he goes, too. The rebels around us slowly follow after, others spreading word to those who’re still fighting that they’re retreating.
As soon as the immediate threat of danger passes, Jay kneels by Lai. “Lai, can you hear me?” He’s already checking the improvised tourniquet and tightening it further.
She doesn’t answer.
I look at Lai and Seung’s body still in her lap, and at the massacre around us, and I wonder where I went wrong. I should’ve known this was a trap. I should’ve never told Lai about it—or I at least should’ve told her she shouldn’t plan a counterattack. I was careless.
The looks of betrayal on Cal’s face and confusion on Gabriel’s flash behind my eyes, and I choke back something I can’t put a name on.
Someone claps a hand on my shoulder, and I flinch before I see it’s Johann. “Thanks for making it back to us, Erik.”
At the sound of her voice, despite everything, I feel weirdly better. Anchored. Like I’m back where I’m supposed to be. “Thanks, Al.”
We kneel by Lai’s side as Jay tries to stanch the bleeding and get her to respond, and Peter and others come running toward us. But she remains as quiet as the dead.
24
JAY
LAI WEIGHS HEAVY in my arms. I’m not certain when she lost consciousness, but it makes me rush all the more. My heart hammers against my eardrums. No. No. No. I hold her closer to my chest as I sprint through the underground tunnels of Regail Hall with Al, Erik, and Peter close behind.
We’re among the first members to return, but already, word of the Order’s utter defeat is spreading. Shouts and cries echo off the stone walls. People race through the halls and disappear around corners. Is Lai getting colder, or is it my imagination? Hold on, Lai. You’re going to make it.
We reach the infirmary. It’s already a flurry of motion as everyone prepares for the incoming wounded. The whipping of sheets, the clatter of tools, and shouts of instruction fill the room. Doctors and nurses, some professionally trained, most merely volunteers, run from one end of the long room to the other.
“We need help,” I manage to choke out. A few people stop. At the sight of Lai and all the blood, three of them immediately direct me to a nearby bed. I set her down gently, as if that’ll prevent her from feeling any more pain. But then I’m whisked out the door with the others to make space for the incoming wounded and the busy doctors.
We all stand in the hallway uncertainly. I want to go back in. I want to stay by Lai’s side and make sure she’ll pull through. However, I’d merely be in the way. There are other things Lai would want me to do while she’s out. I can nearly hear her scolding me now. Come on, Major, you being there wouldn’t change anything. Better to help out where you can, right?
Al is the first to speak. “Erik, do you know what happened out there?”
It takes an agonizing amount of energy to look up at Erik. His presence is heavy with regret, guilt, exhaustion. Blood stains his clothes. I don’t want to think about whose side it belongs to. He nods, a single, jerky movement.
“Ellis told me and the other rebel leaders that we’d be attacking the sector.” Erik’s presence flashes. “But then when we were marching over, Ellis changed everything. The plan, the positions, the people—she used teleportation crystals, and then we were suddenly ambushing the Order. The Order planned a counterattack based on fake information, believing it was the rebels’ real plan. And Ellis knew they would, and exactly how to counter them.”
Guilt radiates from him in waves as he closes his eyes. He’s always been so careful to hide his emotions, but his pain is evident in the lines around his eyes.
“This wasn’t your fault,” I say softly. “You and Lai—you were both doing the best you could.”