Colin.
He confessed to me that he wanted to tell my parents about my relationship with Val, but when it became apparent that I wanted to end things, he agreed to keep it quiet on the promise that I would deal with it, and I made immediate plans to do so. Val was the only thing that stood between Colin and I, so he had to go, plain and simple. The last two weeks were like a dream, or at the very least a setup for one. Colin and I hadn’t confessed our feelings to one another in the obvious sense, but it was there. In our eyes locking when we walked out of our bedrooms in the morning, to the way Colin asked if we could start walking to school in the mornings to spend some time alone. From the way I gave up my typical barstool at the kitchen island during breakfast to sit at the one directly next to him, to the way we seemed to get lost in each other whenever we crossed paths in school. The rumor that Val and I were seeing each other had been replaced in full with the one that Colin and I were, and I was much less willing to try and shut that one down. It was my hope that one day soon it wouldn’t be a rumor anymore. I could tell that Colin wished that too.
The only problem that could be identified with Colin and I, if there was one, was that we struggled to keep our hands off of one another when the opportunities presented themselves. Maybe we were just trying to make up for lost time, but what were meant to be quick pecks often resulted in us vertical on some surface or another. We could be quick in getting an article or two of clothing off before one of my parents appeared to ruin the party. Somewhere along the way, they’d both gathered that there was something more between us, and though they didn’t take much issue with us being alone together in his room or mine, they would always find some reason to come talk to us once an hour or so. Things never got past making out despite how much we wanted them to. It was probably a good thing, I hadn’t broken up with Val yet, so I was technically cheating on them both, but Colin was aware he was the only one I really wanted. If any of those chances to be with him had successfully happened, I would have done so with not a shred of remorse.
I stood outside of Val’s door wishing that it was going to be Colin waiting for me on the other side. I thought of Colin and the promise of being with him without worries and it pumped confidence in me to do what I had to do. I knocked on the door and entered without waiting for a response. Val was anticipating my arrival, he always was.
When I entered, he looked up at me, but didn’t smile. “Lock the door.”
I was hoping he wouldn’t go straight for ground zero, but I might have expected as much. “We shouldn’t,” I responded. “I know the rumors have died down some, but--”
Val’s chair screeching across the floor was loud and unexpected. He stormed across the room, reached around me and locked the door. With a hand on my waist, he forced me up against the door and leaned so close I could feel the warmth of his breath on my face. “You don’t think we should, or you don’t want to?”
I didn’t want to. Val’s fingers dug into my flesh and it hurt. “You’re hurting me.”
“Answer the question. You’ve been coming to see me less, you don’t reply to my texts.” An animalistic grunt boiled out. “Tell me the truth, you’re cheating on me with Colin Undinger aren’t you?”
All of my certainty that I could turn Val away abandoned me in an instant. I just wanted to end things with him, but I had no way of guaranteeing he wouldn’t bite my head clean off my shoulders if I did it right here, right now. I was scared, and couldn’t bring myself to make him any angrier by admitting that I was cheating on him, or even just ending things amicably.
“I-I’m not,” I whimpered.
Val’s hand tightened. “Really?” Disbelief rode out on huffs through his nose; a dragon about to breathe fire.
“R-Really.” I did the best I could to shift under Val’s restraint. There were going to be bruises if I didn’t move soon.
“Prove it.” Val’s hand slipped up from its spot on my waist and under my shirt. I tried to remember what it felt like to have his hands on my skin before. Did it always feel so diseased?
I put my hands on his chest and pushed. “We shouldn’t do it here anymore. Not with what people already think.”
Val pulled away a little, to my surprise, looking down at me with some of his anger being replaced with desperation. “This is the only place I see you anymore. You’ve spent the last few weekends at home.”
My sneaking out to see Val had come to a screeching halt the day Colin’s parents died. At first it was the confusion at home, then it was the fear of being caught, fast-forward to Colin and I spending the day at the food festival a couple of weeks ago, and I was looking for any opportunity to spend my days with him. Val had picked up on it, which wasn’t shocking, but didn’t help my case at all, well it did, but it didn’t make him less angry.
“It’s my parents.” I banked on being able to hide a lie despite my general lack of control over the situation. “Ever since Colin first moved in, they want me home all the time.”
Oddly enough, Val seemed to accept the excuse. “But if we can’t be together here, and we can’t be together at my house…” Val’s hand dug into the bare skin of my stomach now. “When are we going to be together?”
I’d suddenly found myself at a crossroads. Val had presented the perfect door for me to walk through. I don’t think we can be together. It was an ideal breakup scenario, apart from the fact that I was alone with him in a dark, locked room that no one else was expected to be in again until the next day. More likely than not, no one even saw me come in. If Val snapped and did something crazy, no one would know at least until my parents started to suspect I should be home, but Colin had an away game that night and they were planning on making the journey. Val could kill and bury me before anyone realized it.
I was trying to convince myself that I was being overly dramatic. Val was maybe a little obsessive, but he wasn’t a psycho. He wouldn’t hurt me, certainly not kill me.
Still, maybe ending things was best done in a public place.
“You’re right.” I put a shaky hand to his face. “We shouldn’t do it here, but let’s meet up on Sunday.”
“I don’t want to wait that long,” Val replied. “Saturday.”
My heart pounded. “I can’t on Saturday. My parents are holding a birthday party for… Colin.” My stomach screamed out in pain as Val’s fingers hooked even deeper into me, threatening to puncture the skin. I winced, but kept my hand on Val’s face. “Hey, calm down. I wish I could come on Saturday, but if I’m not there, they’ll ask questions. Please just be patient and I’ll spend all day on Sunday with you.”
Val’s hold loosened and my mind went a little fuzzy as I tried to shake away the ache. He took a deep breath and as he breathed out, all of his frightening behavior went with it. He opened his eyes and he was back to looking like the Val I knew, with nothing but caring kindness inside of him. He kissed my cheek and then let his forehead drop to my shoulder.
“I’m sorry for acting this way. I just love you so much. I can’t imagine losing you.” His hand gently smoothed over the part of my flesh he’d been torturing moments before. “Please spend Sunday with me.”