It’s strange. I’m nothing but honest with Jacobi, even when we’re arguing, and when we are fighting, I almost look forward to his reactions. I thought I hated him, but I realise the truth now. I’m in love with him, and I think I always have been.
“You okay?” Sebastian questions as we move into the dark movie theatre.
“Yeah, I’m good,” I reply. Lie three.
As we settle down to watch the movie and the trailers play on the big screen, the other three chat amongst themselves, and I know I shouldn’t be here. A tingle runs up my spine, causing me to shiver. I look over my shoulder, but no one’s there.
“Aren’t you so excited to watch this movie?” Emmie asks me.
“Yeah, really excited.” Lie four. “I’m going to quickly pop to the toilet. I’ll be straight back,” I tell them, and before anyone can offer to come with me, I slip out of my seat, thankful I’m on the end of the row, and rush out.
I need a minute. Hell, I need a few minutes. I always find the cinema eerie when everyone is in their respective screens, watching their films. Outside in the corridor area is always an abandoned space. As I walk to the ladies, I feel that shiver again, and it’s not altogether unpleasant. I turn quickly, trying to figure out if someone’s following me, but the space behind me is empty. It wouldn’t be completely ridiculous to assume my father has someone following me when I’m outside of Caspian; still, I can’t actually see anyone, so I’ve no proof.
Rushing into the ladies, I see, like the corridor outside, it’s empty. I rest my fists on one of the sinks, and leaning forwards, I close my eyes and try to unscramble my brain.
I step back and pull my phone out again. Still nothing.
Me – Jacobi, don’t ignore me. Where are you?
I wait for a few moments, willing those three little dots in a bubble to appear, but nothing happens. I groan when I realise I’ve been gone for over ten minutes, and I hurry back to my seat. The minute I sink down, Sebastian looks at me, concern clear in his eyes, and when he decides I’m fine, he slips his arm behind me. I want to shrink away, but I don’t. I stay where I am throughout the entire movie, and when we leave, I’ve no more of a clue as to the storyline than I did when I first sat down. We stop at my place first, and Sebastian informs me he must walk me to my flat, as any gentleman would. When he leans in to kiss me, though, I turn my head and he hits my cheek. He smiles, but I can see the frustration in his eyes. I feel bad he’s getting nothing from me, compared to the way Emmie’s all over James.
“Do you want to do something tomorrow?” he asks tentatively.
“Erm,”
“It’s okay, we don’t have to.”
I think about it for a second. What does it matter, even if Jacobi gets back to me? I still have to stay away from him.
“Sure. Pick me up at twelve?” I suggest, forcing another smile.
His face lights up. “Yes, of course, I’ll be here at twelve,” he replies, excitement in his tone, and his eyes shine as he brushes his blonde hair off his forehead. “Okay, I better go,” he says thumbing over his shoulder.
“Yeah, James and Emmie will be waiting,” I confirm. Even though, to be fair, they’re probably all over each other and happy for a few moments alone.
He leans forwards for a kiss again, and I move back automatically, wrinkling my nose. I hear a snort of laughter, and both Sebastian and I look up and down my hallway but no one’s there. It must have come from inside one of the other flats.
“Okay, I’m really going now,” he says awkwardly.
I nod, offer a little wave, and get inside my flat as quickly as I can. Why the hell did I agree to a date?… Because you need to get out there and forget about a certain tall, well built, dark haired, blue eyed boy, I remind myself with a sigh, and dropping onto my sofa, I check my phone again. Still no reply.
I pace back and forth across my room. It’s been a week… a week with no Jacobi. I’ve texted him numerous times. My texts have ranged from pleading, to angry, to sweet. But I’ve heard nothing, almost as though he’s vanished.
I walk onto my balcony and sit down. It’s been getting sunnier over the last few days, and with a Coke to drink and a pair of sunglasses on, the balcony is my favourite space. Setting down the Coke on the outside table, I place the copy of Jacobi’s book I’ve printed off next to it and read through the pages again. The book identifies Jacobi shouldn’t have emotions when carrying out his tasks, he shouldn’t forget what he’s done, but he should be able to choose when to engage his Guardian side and it shouldn’t be controlled by a kiss with me. If this has been the way since the dawn of time, I can’t understand why it’s different for him and me.
My phone chimes in my lap, and hoping to see Jacobi’s name, I rush to look and almost drop it. Instead, it’s Sebastian. I sigh. I’ve been spending time with him, dating, I guess, but he still hasn’t got more from me than holding hands. It must be frustrating for him, yet he never complains. He’s a nice boy…he’s just not my boy.
Seb – What are you doing? Want to come bowling?
Before I can answer, my phone chimes again.
Emmie – Come bowling, bish.
I roll my eyes and reply to Sebastian.
Me – Sure, can you pick me up in ten?
Seb – Absolutely, see you then.
Then to Emmie.
Me – Coming.
Emmie – Yass!
I stand up, tuck my phone in my pocket, and run my fingertips across the book on the table.
“Where are you?” I whisper into the air, and I swear I feel something brush my cheek. I blink a couple of times, but nothing’s there.
“Don’t stay hidden in pure light, show yourself, and let me have the sight,” I murmur, turning my hand and twisting my fingers in the air.
Nothing appears. “Huh.” I’m surprised, I expected someone to be revealed, but no one’s there.
Gathering my things, I head inside, shutting the door and gently laying the book on my coffee table. I walk over to my desk and open the top drawer, pulling out an old photo of Jacobi and me. We were fifteen, and it was just before we kissed that first time. He has my back pulled tight against his front, his hands joined across my stomach, and his chin resting on my head. We’re both wearing huge smiles, and I can’t stop the sorrow which flows through me.
“I miss you,” I whisper to the photo before placing it reverently back in the drawer and heading down to meet Sebastian.
“I’m so glad you came tonight,” Emmie says, sitting next to me as James and Sebastian fool around with the bowling balls.
“I’m glad you’re glad,” I reply with a smirk.
“You could try,” she moans, “with Seb.” She points at him like I don’t know who she’s talking about.
“I am. This is me trying.”
She taps my cheek with the palm of her hand.
“Try harder,” she whispers, then with a wink, she shuffles off to take her turn. The second she’s in his space, James tugs her into him, his arms around her, and I can’t help but smile.
Sebastian slides in next to me. “They seem really happy,” he says, nodding towards the pair who are now trying to tickle one another.