“Sure, I’ll pop out to my balcony. I could use some sunshine and fresh air. I’ll give you a minute,” I tell her, shuffling outside.
Sitting in the sun, I turn my phone over and over in my hands, wishing there was a message, just something to tell me Jacobi was thinking of me.
I pull up the string of texts I sent him before I ended up in hospital and type out a new one.
Me – You saved me. Thank you.
I wait, like I always do, staring at my phone and pleading with all the magic in me he’ll reply. But he doesn’t. He never does. I put the phone face down, and staring out across the road, I wonder if anyone’s out there. If anyone cares about me.
“You ready for today?” Emmie asks as we walk into school.
I shrug. “Just another day,” I murmur back.
“You wanna head to the common room and grab some food?”she asks.
“You already ate breakfast at my place, and you’re hungry again?” I mutter. “Where do you put all your food?” I shake my head.
Emmie’s slim and can eat whatever she wants. I only have to look at a muffin and the weight piles on. My size fourteen jeans aren’t tight, and I have the boobs and butt to match, but as seventeen year old girls go, I’m not the norm of skinny or svelte.
“I’m still hungry,” she whines.
“Fine, come on.”
My gaze lands on Jacobi the moment we enter the common room. His eyes widen, and I stumble over my feet. I didn’t expect him to be here, not after going missing for a week and ignoring my texts. I especially didn’t expect to see him with Taya sitting in his lap.
I tear my eyes away immediately. It hurts, way, way more than it should. It’s not because I love him. He doesn’t know how I feel, and I know he doesn’t love me. But it kills me that he’s acting this way with her when he knows… he knows she tried to kill me. I will myself not to cry, biting down on my tongue until the copper taste of blood infuses my senses.
“Hey, look who’s crawled into school this morning,” Taya calls out across the room.
“Ignore her,” Emmie orders, looking over to the group of about eight people and giving them all dirty looks.
“What’s wrong?” Taya asks, standing up from Jacobi’s lap, and I can’t help my gaze shifting towards the two of them. “Worried that when your light is eventually snuffed out, no one will care?”
Jacobi grabs the back of Taya’s skirt and pulls her back into his lap.
“Aww, did you miss me, baby?” she coos, turning and kissing him.
His gaze is locked with mine as he takes her mouth and kisses her with everything he’s got.
“Come on.” I hear the words whispered near me as an arm goes around my neck and tugs me back towards the exit of the common room. It’s only when we get outside I realise it’s Sebastian.
“So, Jacobi Ashdown, that’s who you’re in love with?” he asks softly.
Emmie looks at me, clearly worried about my current emotional state while James frowns, looking from his friend to me.
“Yeah, stupid, stupid me, huh?” I reply as my heart is finally ripped from my chest.
To be honest, I’m wondering why Jacobi saved me. I’m wondering if it would have been better if he’d left me to die.
My nostrils flare as I watch Sebastian help Juniper from the common room. Taya sits on my lap, and I’m repulsed rather than excited. I want to wrap my hands around her neck and squeeze the life from her for what she did to Juniper. I can’t, though, no matter how much I want to. She’s too protected in this world with her family being so close to King Ambrose.
The bell sounds for lessons, and I push Taya from my lap. She turns around and glares at me,
“Just keep behaving, and everything will be all right,” she taunts me.
I don’t even honour her with a reply, I simply grab my bag and stomp across the common room towards the exit. Taya runs after me, obviously not finished with her little display announcing our relationship’s back on. She knows full well I despise her and am only doing this to keep Juniper safe. However, Taya is only concerned for her own ambitions, and having me as her boyfriend furthers her prominence in the school, so despite the fact I hate her guts, she’s happy to fall all over me like a loving girlfriend, just to prove a point.
She won. I lost.
“Were you really going to leave without escorting me to my lesson and giving me a goodbye kiss?” She pouts before turning to her friends. “He’s so conscientious when it comes to his lessons. It’s what will make him one of the most powerful wizards when we graduate. I tell you now, we’ll be running the council together before anyone knows it.”
She can go to hell if she thinks this will continue after school. I’d rather kill myself. As soon as I make sure Juniper is safe, then Taya won’t see me for dust.
For now, though, I’ll play my part and just scrub my body with sandpaper tonight to rid myself of her touch.
“I’m sorry, darling.” I pull her close to me and press a kiss to her lips, resisting the urge to bite down on her tongue when she shoves it in my mouth.
“Let’s go now,” I suggest, pulling away from her.
Taya smiles across at one of the hangers-on, who instantly gets to his feet and brings her bag over. He tries to hand it to her, but she looks up at me, and I take the bag from him instead, flinging it over my shoulder while not being overly careful about the contents inside. Taya threads her hand through mine, and we leave the common room, the picture of a loving couple. If only those around us knew the truth.
Taya, thankfully, has a different class to me for the first lesson, so I deposit her at her biology studies first. She makes a massive display of pushing her tongue into my throat once again. I try not to throw up, especially when I feel the heat of a specific pair of eyes I know in detail, watching us. They burn with hatred and sorrow.
I wish the lips attached to mine were Juniper’s, but it can never be. The world hates us and has conspired against us to make sure we can’t be together. The pain burns in my chest as I pull back from Taya and see the flash of grey hair retreating quickly down the corridor.
“See you later, handsome.” Taya licks my taste from her lips and makes her way into class with a seductive sway of her hips. I look away, more mesmerised by the flash of grey as it disappears. “I’ll wait here for you to meet me after class. I thought we could go and eat in the park behind the school. It’s been a while since we had any time alone,” she adds.
“Of course,” I smile at Taya like I’m a loving boyfriend before storming off to my class.
Maths isn’t my favourite subject, but it’s a necessity of course. Even though most of our lessons are magic based, we do have core subjects as well. We need to exist in the human world and not just the magical one. I stare at the board as the teacher writes a variety of equations on it. I could easily solve them if I concentrated, but I can’t be bothered. My head is already a muddle of emotions, and until I deal with them, nothing else is going to fit in.
I’m lucky, I suppose, I remember everything about saving Juniper’s life, including the emotion of it all and telling her I loved her. However, I don’t even know if she’s aware I was there. Emmie saw me and recognised me, so I hope she told her. Maybe that will somehow help to patch up the hurt she’s feeling at me being back with Taya. I want to tell her everything, but I can’t risk it. It’s best I keep my head down and stay away from her until the end of school…maybe even forever.