After a few more basic questions, Office Clarke tucked his iPad away and wished us the best after passing us a business card. And then we were finally alone.
Austin fixed my hair a little before giving me two air kisses. “I’m glad you’re safe, Kitten. You two probably have some stuff to discuss, so I’ll leave you to it.”
He took the real kitten out of my hands. Austin must have gone downstairs to buy the kitten what he needed from the grocery store, because there was a bowl with food on the floor.
I stood in the kitchen looking at the counter until Gaze’s arms came around me, pulling me against his chest.
But I also had concerns that not telling others about Bic was sort of letting him have a hero’s death. Not that anyone that knew him ever made that mistake, but I could just picture the neighborhood gossips getting a fresh new line of lies to snort.
I felt Gaze’s body relax, happy that he’d gotten through to me no doubt.
That’s where we were. Austin was speaking to his parents on the phone. He put one finger in the ear that was free of the phone.
I turned in Gaze’s arms to look at him.
“I can’t believe he’s gone. Is it wrong to be happy? Like I couldn’t have had a better gift if I tried. Does that make me a bad person?” I chewed on the pad of my thumb, considering my moral dilemma.
“I think I know exactly what makes Bic a bad person. I can’t point out a single thing about you that isn’t based in love and empathy, so wish away.” He rubbed my hips lightly. “Do you want to sleep in Austin’s room tonight? Is it too hard to deal with what happened outside our windows?”
I thought about it for a few minutes before answering, “Your room. I want to be in the spot in the world where I’m safe. With you.” I reached up and touched the curve of his sharp jaw. “I actually might have the best night of my life in a long while.”
After turning and hugging Gaze, I had to break away to shower. I was cooled off for now, and it was time to get the dust and ash from my hair.
It was as if I left one day for the shower and returned on a different one entirely. The lights were dim. I walked over to the couch and sat. Austin put the kitten in my lap and Gaze took to his knee in front of me, gauze and antibacterial cream in his hands.
“I want to make sure this gets covered.”
I nodded at him as he doctored up my cut. “Thanks.”
The little loud kitten was now just a purring boneless blob of happiness. I petted his little head. His tummy was sticking out, full from the food.
“Um. I think I got a cat?” I hadn’t even considered anything other than taking the kitten from Bic and Dreama. They sucked at caretaking anything. People. Money. Me.
“We noticed.” Gaze finished up the bandaging. My knee was actually starting to hurt more after the shower. I had held it outside the spray to keep from wincing.
“Anyone allergic?” I petted his little head again and the purring stutter stopped and revved up again.
“Not so much that we can toss that cat out of the apartment. He’s super cute.” Austin’s eyes were indeed red.
“Thanks. I’ll vacuum more and stuff.” I put my hands around the kitten to make it a little bed for him. He cuddled in.
“I think the real issue is that this is a no pet building. We have stuff to discuss, but I’m busted. Let’s all get to bed. I’ll grab a quick shower and meet you in there, Pixie.” Gaze leaned over me and kissed my forehead, then gave the kitten a little finger pet.
I felt like I didn’t have the energy to get up. Everything was hitting me. How many places I ached. My shoulders, my arms from being jerked into the apartment.
“Did you get what you needed?” Austin moved next to me on the couch even though the edges of his nostrils were reddening.
“What do you mean?” I glanced in my lap, the automatic response to the bullying I received at school.
“Hey. I’m just making sure that you got it. Because whatever it was, I’d help now if I could.” Austin gently bumped my shoulder with his.
“I had papers and stuff over there that I needed. It was incredibly unthought-out. It was an impulse, sort of.” I’d failed to mention to Gaze that Bic had approached me. I didn’t want him worked up while he was making huge decisions about his college career. And thanks for the offer. I think I got out everything that I could. And anything else would be soaked or burnt.”
I stood, shifting the kitten to my shoulder. He clung on. I walked into Gaze’s room and Austin followed me. We looked across the way. It was crazy that something so close seemed so far away when I was balancing on the ramp.
I heard Gaze’s footsteps and the murmur between the brothers before Austin left and Gaze took his spot behind me, looking across the way.
“Well, that’s how that worked out.” He gestured to the fire scene.
It struck me funny. Maybe inappropriately so. Like the hollowed out hole of my old place was the end of a series show on Netflix.
My exhaustion and frazzled nerves set off a hysteria of laughing. I had to bend over, holding the kitten in place as I started to laugh harder. Gaze wasn’t sure what the hell I was laughing at, but his face went from concerned, to smiling, to out and out laughing with me. We staggered over to the bed and flopped down together. I had to keep wiping my eyes. Gaze was taking gasping breaths between his laughing attacks.
It took us a full fifteen minutes to wind down, occasionally busting out with laughter here and there. We fell asleep slumped together, the skin on my face slightly tight from the tears that had dried on my face. It was every emotion and then none as we fell off to sleep.
Chapter 71
GAZE
WAKING UP IN the morning, with a Saturday ahead of us was normally something to look forward to. But this morning everything had changed. It took a few minutes before the new reality seeped back into my consciousness. Bic was dead. Pixie’s old apartment was just a soggy hole in the building.
She was here with me, still sleeping, with her new kitten tucked under her chin. She made it. I don’t think I’ll ever stop seeing her frantic eyes as I held her up from falling to the alley below. It made my whole chest constrict thinking about it. I almost lost her. I snaked an arm around her, placing my hand on her stomach. I nuzzled her hair and inhaled it.
The kitten went from sound asleep to full-on attack mode and launched into an assault of my left hand.
Instead of the gentle wake up I was hoping for, I wound up half-screaming, “Ow, you little fucker,” as I tried to disengage the pin sharp kitten claws from my skin.
Pixie stared at me like I was speaking a different language until she saw what the cat was doing, then she had the gall to laugh at me.
The cat started chasing a lock of Pixie’s hair and stepped on her neck, so her laughing was cut short. I lifted the little terror and held him a distance away.
I liked that Pixie went to bed laughing and woke up the same way. All good things.
Pixie pushed herself to sitting, resting her back on my wall. I did the same, setting the little bitey kitten on her lap. “This thing is yours.”
“Yeah. For sure.” She started petting him and he attacked her hand a little before flopping over and purring.
“That thing is crazy.” I pointed at it.