The breeze hits my skin, cooling off the heat that the sun had given me just moments before. The sun feels unusually bright today, giving a heat to my skin that is much-needed since the chill has started to move into the city’s air. It’s the time of year when there’s a good bit of people out enjoying the nice weather. A little more than you would normally see during the hot days of summer. Everyone wants to soak up these remaining days before it’s too cold to.
Bikes cycling, people running, and various activities going around the park. There isn’t a time of day when you don’t see picnics, various small groups playing sports, and people like us milling around. It won’t be long before winter creeps its cold claws back into our bones, and the parks become hard to enjoy. Those cold days make walks like this harder to fit in, us switching over to my car. I soak in these days when I’m able to walk Riley to school—and the shop—instead of being stuck in a vehicle. There’s nothing like walking the city of Boston when the weather cooperates.
Riley’s little voice comes through my thoughts, and I give myself a little mental shake to snap out of these daydreams. When I hear her call the coffee shop her “work,” I can’t help my soft snort. Drew looks over, his eyes over where his leg is resting, hiding the smirk I know is there, and I can practically see the remark he wants to jest toward me dancing in his eyes.
“Don’t you think, Livi?” Riley says.
I look up from his beautiful eyes and give her my attention, the heat growing on my cheeks. “What was that, bean?”
“You’re silly,” she starts, giving a bell of giggles after. “Don’t you think my giant would be better at games than you?”
“Hey now!” I exclaim with mock shock.
She laughs harder.
“Why would he be better than me, little miss?”
“Because he’s a boy. Lewis is a boy, and he’s really good at Mario Kart. I bet Mr. W would be good too, even though he’s real old.”
“That’s not nice, Riley.”
“Why? He says it all the time.”
“She’s got you there,” Drew adds, giving me a wink.
I narrow my eyes at him, and the two of them laugh.
“Well, just because he says it doesn’t mean you need to repeat it, Riley.”
“Okay,” she chirps, then goes back to leaning over Drew’s head. “Did you know I have a TV and some games at work? If you come early today, I can show you how to play, and you can play instead of Livi. She doesn’t like games that much because she always loses. Did you play games when you were little like me?”
“Not the kind of games you have now. Didn’t have much of that fun stuff when I was little.”
“Why?”
“Grew up when there wasn’t tons of those games you play. Most kids were playing outside with sticks and rocks, basketball and baseball. That kind of stuff.”
She leans up and I watch her face as she ponders his words. She looks at me and gives me a wink. I swear, this girl.
“Well … we can teach you. You’re a boy, and you’ll be able to beat Livi real quick. She can do other stuff, and we can play. Lewis is my friend at work. He’s really good at games, too. Sometimes, when there aren’t a lot of people there, which is like never, I get to play with Lewis, and he teaches me tricks. Do you know Lewis? Cuz he’s real nice.”
“You always give me that much to digest, kid?”
“What is digest?”
We laugh, and she squints at me.
“I’ll be there early today,” Drew starts with a gruff grumble, drawing her attention back to him. She doesn’t speak again, content with the fact she got what she wanted, and that’s that. I, however, hear what he isn’t saying. Something is on his mind, and it’s clear as day.
The walk to her school is silent after that. Not uncomfortable, just the three of us being comfortable enough to afford that silence. The world keeps moving, traffic and sounds of people enjoying the weather whips around us with the gentle breeze.
“I see my school,” Riley says, interrupting the silence. “My giant, did you know I didn’t like my school at first? I like it now. Even though I want to be at work with Livi and Ella more. It’s not more fun at school than work, but at least I get to do both.”
“Gotta have balance, bean,” he says.
“What’s balance?”
He lifts her off his shoulders when we reach the edge of her school’s property, just before the gate. When her legs clear his head, he gives a little push from his hold, and she’s spinning in the air before he catches her—this time, facing him. He holds her out and away from his body and keeps her face level. She smiles, wonky and toothy full of love for him. He takes it in with a deep breath. The two of them just look at each other, and her little legs start swinging.
“Balance is knowing how to have what you love while doing what you have to do.”
“Do you?”
“Do I what?”
“Do you get to do what you love, too?” she asks, so much innocence in her question. She doesn’t realize her aunt is close to hyperventilating.
He looks over at me, just a beat, then back at her. “Hadn’t for a real long time, bean. Hadn’t until recently.”
“Do you love what you have to do?”
“Not at all.” This time, his answer is immediate. Not even a sliver of a second seemed to pass.
“Then you should probably stop doing what you have to do and fix your balance.”
He grunts out a laugh, no humor in it at all.
“I’ll have to look into that, little girl.”
“You do that, giant.”
He bends to place her gently on her feet and stands back one step, letting me know silently that he’ll wait for me to walk her in.
“Ready?” I ask her, still looking in his eyes.
“Can my giant walk me up today, Auntie?” she asks, drawing my attention back just when the shock reaches his eyes.
“Of course, sweet girl. If it’s okay with him, of course.”
She leaps up in the air a little and claps her hand and reaches to my side, toward where he’s standing. I hear him clear his throat before his hand enters my line of sight, and I watch his big mitt envelop her small hand. She turns around once on their short walk and blows me a kiss, which I catch before blowing one back for her to catch. She turns around right at the edge of the opening gate, where all the moms stand and let their little ones run the rest of the way. There is never a break to their ranks, and no mom from that group ever goes farther—almost like some sort of forcefield keeps them from walking the rest of the way.
This special treatment could be an issue when there’s no longer any need for him to stick close to Riley and me. Riley will still be just as attached when that overprotective bear inside him can be soothed. It would worry me had I not seen how much he cares for her with my own eyes. It meant a lot to me that he was honest and told me what he could, enough information to settle my nerves. The person he was investigating was in proximity to us. It’s only natural that it’s made his already protective nature more primal. And I would be lying if I said I didn’t like knowing he was close, and so was the safety that being near him gives me.