Twenty
The drive back to the apartment goes by quickly, and I’m barely able to fill Dex in on everything. I’ve left the sex witch blood play stuff out because I think we both need to be fully immersed and ready for it when that happens. I don’t think it’s something you can spend a lot of time thinking about.
Except that I have.
Dex makes a stop at a pharmacy to pick up his medication and some other things and I come inside with him, not willing to be alone in the car. While we wait, I bring up sex magic and blood play on my phone and start doing some quick reading, trying to get an idea of what I have to do. Obviously if you want to get into the spell territory, you can follow very rigid (and graphic) rituals, or you can just go in with your own kind of flow. We’ll be doing the latter option.
The most important things I gathered from my research is that the knives have to be sterilized, you have to be careful where you cut so you don’t harm the other person, doing it outside isn’t as important as doing it somewhere meaningful, and as Lana said, the more delayed the orgasm the better, and that it should be done with love and respect and intention. This isn’t about the kink of cutting each other up with knives, it’s not about drinking blood (though that can help with the possession). It’s about inviting that person inside at a cellular and spiritual level. The literal melding of the souls.
They said the possession can last as long as the person wants. The person who invited the person in always has control (pretty sure this doesn’t work when it comes to demon possession, but whatever), and that it can be pretty jarring to both people, getting used to sharing a mind and hearing each other’s thoughts. At least in that, we already know what to expect.
“So, what’s the plan?” Dex asks as we step into the apartment. “In the car you said she had a plan. Least I think you did. This is still such a fuckload of information to take in. Who the fuck knew we were surrounded by witches?”
“I know,” I tell him. It’s dark outside now and we’re running out of time. I walk right over to Fat Rabbit on the couch and pick him up in my arms. I kiss him on his head and then bring him over to the den, closing the door on him.
When I turn around, Dex is staring at me curiously as he takes off his jacket, wondering why I just did that.
I take in a deep breath.
Here we go.
“Dex, I need to talk to you about something,” I say, walking toward him, hoping he can see how serious I am. “Something very important. Something that will save us. I don’t want you to think it’s a joke, I don’t want you to take it lightly, I don’t want you to push back against it. I just need you to know how grave this is, and why we must do it.”
“Okay,” he says slowly, running a hand down his face. “I have to admit kiddo, you’re scaring me a little.”
“Because it is scary,” I tell him, stopping right in front of him. “I’m scared too. But you’re going to have to trust me on this.”
“Is this what your doctor was getting at? Do you trust her?”
“Yes. And even if I didn’t, I know that this is right. I know deep inside that this is the way. The only way for us.”
He swallows, fear swimming in his eyes.
I put my hand at his cheek and peer up at him, looking him as deep in the eyes as I can. “Dex. I love you. I love you with all that I have, even when it feels like I have nothing left. It’s all for you, everything is. And I am so deeply sorry for the words I said the other night, words I have never once believed and should have never been said. It wasn’t me talking. But this is me talking now.” I run my fingers up over his face, brushing a strand of dark hair off his forehead. “I need a favor from you.”
His jaw tightens, his eyes growing in intensity. “Anything. I’ll do anything for you.”
“I need you to possess me. So that nothing else can.”
His brows come together. “Possess you? Don’t I already possess you?”
“I don’t mean in the fact that you’re mine and I’m yours,” I say, my hand falling away. I move past him to the knife rack. “I mean in the most literal way.”
I pull the smallest knife out, which also happens to be the sharpest.
Turn around to face him, holding it up in front of my chest.
His eyes go to the knife to my eyes, and back again. “Baby, what are you doing?”
“You have to trust me.”
“I’ll trust you if you tell me what you’re doing.”
I put the knife on the counter and then fish out a bottle of disinfectant from the medicine drawer. I pour some of it on a clean towel and rub it over the knife.
Dex watches my every move. “Perry? That thing I said earlier about how you’re scaring me? Well, that still stands.”
I look over at the bedroom. It would be too messy in there. Then I look down on the kitchen floor. Then the island. It would be uncomfortable, but it would be easy to clean up the blood. And more than that, it holds importance. That counter was where Dex and I first had sex.
I remember it like it was yesterday.
How he felt.
How we felt like together.
I remember a shimmer enveloping the entire apartment, bending and warping, and not really knowing what it meant at the time. Now I do.
That was our energy finally coming together. A hint of what it can do, of what we can do as one.
Now we’re going to test it like it’s never been tested before.
Four years later.
To…wait a minute.
To this very day?
My mind flips back, seeing the dates line up, the night of the Shownet company Christmas party.
Holy shit.
There are no such things as coincidences.
“Perry?” Dex prompts me.
I look at him.
“Why did you just disinfect a knife?”
“Take off your clothes,” I tell him.
He balks. “What?! No.”
“Fine,” I tell him.
I take off my sweater and my shirt underneath, throwing them to the floor, then I pull off my leggings and socks, until I’m just in my bra and underwear.
I pick up the knife and hold it out for him.
“Take this,” I tell him.
He blinks, and I know he’s trying to make sense of this, scared that I’m going to make him hurt me. And he will, but only a little.
“Take it,” I repeat.
He takes it from me by the handle, his fingers wrapping around mine, not letting my hand go.
“Tell me what we’re doing.”
“I need you to possess me.”
“Tell me what we’re doing.”
“We need to create a blood bond. A blood pact. A way to tie ourselves to one another, a thread that can’t be broken no matter what. In that blood bond, while having sex…” I close my eyes, trying to find the words. “I invite you in. You possess me. And once you possess me, no one else can. Not Samantha, not anyone. This is the plan. This is the only chance we have, as crazy and fucked up as this all sounds. This is what we have to do.”
I open my eyes and look at him. He’s breathing hard, a war raging in his eyes, still holding onto my hand and the knife. “A…like blood play? Like we cut each other up?” He’s vaguely horrified.