A sweet smile touched Benji’s features. “I’m married to Silas. There’s no kink I haven’t tried.”
Grayson was fascinated. No one ever spoke like this in front of him. He wanted to know more. “Like what?” Even Grayson heard the embarrassed curiosity in his voice. He felt wrong, but he also really wanted to know.
To his surprise, Benji jumped right in. “Well, there’s the obvious one: age play. Dominance and bondage. Impact play. Role play. Also, I have a bit of a thing for Klismaphilia.”
“Oh, Klismaphilia. That’s hot.”
“What’s that?” Grayson whispered the question. He couldn’t help it. It seemed wrong somehow to have this conversation.
“Getting turned on by being given enemas.”
Grayson nodded at Max’s explanation and then motioned for Benji to continue. “What else?”
Benji looked thoughtful. “Object play, electro stimulation.”
“Oh, do you two have any tentacle toys?”
At Max’s question, Benji seemed scandalized. “Of course. No collection is complete without that and a bit of knotting.”
Grayson felt wide-eyed. He had no idea so much went on in other people’s bedrooms. Meanwhile, he had just been trying not to gag on Finley’s cock.
“It’s no wonder Finley couldn’t love me. I’ve never heard of more than half this stuff.”
Max scoffed. “Innocence is fucking sexy too. Don’t listen to that voice in your head.”
Benji looked sympathetic. “Sweetie, Finley fell head over heels for you. That’s why he’s so dumb. Boys are stupid when they’re in love.”
“It’s true,” Max agreed, taking Grayson by surprise. “Men in love are the dumbest creatures alive, and humans are complicated. Things we don’t understand scare us and turn us on. We run when we should fight. We stay quiet when we should speak. We fight when we should listen. Life is hard work. I don’t know what this guy did and I’m not excusing it, especially if he’s the reason your arm is in a cast, but yeah. Boys are stupid. If Benji says this guy loves you, though, I’d believe him. Benji knows everything. He won Silas.”
A bright smile lit Benji’s face at the compliment, and Grayson couldn’t fault Max’s logic. Silas seemed to be the ultimate prize. That didn’t mean he believed Finley loved him.
“I see both of your points, but I don’t think Finley could hurt me the way he did if he loves me.”
Both men winced.
“Oh, sweetie,” Benji said at the same time as Max said, “That’s who we hurt the most.”
Grayson was high as fuck, and he felt like this had been the most enlightening night of his life. He didn’t want it to end. “What do the blue pills do?”
Benji and Max both smiled like mischievous kids, but Max was the one who responded. “Oh, you’re about to have a great night.”
Grayson was in. He needed a great night. Things had been shit for longer than he ever dreamed. Bring on the pills. Grayson needed the release.
Finley’s split knuckles stung, but his fury hadn’t abated. He half expected to get dumped outside the gate of Silas’ expensive home after their little trip across town, but Kage drove into the garage, and they headed inside together—as if Finley belonged.
He followed on Kage’s and Silas’ heels as they weaved through the party. Kage broke away when he spotted his husband, Tommy. Silas led Finley out a set of French doors and around the outside of the house until they reached the new jungle gym. Benji was on his stomach in one swing with his arms extended, soaring like a superhero through the air. Max laughed as he sent Benji flying higher. Grayson was on the ground with his legs on the swing, rocking it back and forth while he stared at the sky.
“Good lord. What did we miss?” Silas asked, taking the words straight from Finley’s mouth.
“I took the blue pill,” Grayson yelled at the top of his lungs as if he had gone deaf.
Silas plucked Benji from the swing and headed for the house. Benji was already trying to undress Silas before they made it inside.
Finley didn’t really know Max. He only knew of him because of Benji. Max met Finley’s gaze and dipped his chin before heading inside to rejoin the party. Once they were alone, Finley moved to stand over Grayson. He was wide-eyed and visibly high. His gaze moved over Finley almost frantically.
“There’s blood on your shirt.”
“It isn’t mine.”
Grayson nodded. “Why are you spinning, then?”
With a sigh, Finley plucked Grayson from the ground. “If I had to guess, it’s because you took the blue pill.”
“I took the blue pill,” Grayson repeated, as if Finley hadn’t just said as much.
Finley made his way through the crowd and up the stairs. When he reached the third floor, he headed for Grayson’s room. “Where’s your key, wee one?”
“Don’t call me that. I’m not a wee one.”
Finley’s throat swelled. “Where’s your key?”
“I lost it the other day. It’s unlocked.”
Grayson needed a keeper, whether or not he liked it. Finley opened the door. Grayson’s bedroom was completely transformed from the last time Finley had been there. All the toys were missing. The brightly colored wall stickers were gone. The room looked as adult as could be. Finley honestly didn’t understand. He carried Grayson to bed.
“Why did you get rid of all your stuff?”
Grayson held still while Finley undressed him. His eyes looked unfocused. “I’m not a wee one. Everyone is embarrassed by me. No one will ever love me if I can’t grow up. I mean, I can’t even suck dick properly, much less get into any sort of tentacle klisma-whatever.”
Finley’s eyebrows rose. “First off, I beg to differ on the dick-sucking thing, but that’s not really important to me anyhow. Second, what in the hell have you been doing while we were apart?”
Grayson’s eyes filled with tears. “Hurting.” His confession came out in a whisper, shattering what was left of Finley’s heart. “Everything hurts. Everyone hurts me.” Grayson’s eyes fell closed, as if he had a hard time staying awake. “When I woke up in the hospital, it hit me. My big brother—the only family I have—is so ashamed of me, he wants me dead. Then you abandoned me because I was too weak to defend myself.” Grayson’s voice turned softer by the second. Unchecked tears ran down Finley’s face. “So, I won’t be little anymore,” Grayson whispered. “Maybe one of you will want me again.”
Finley’s hands dropped. His energy left him. The pain was too much. Even after everything Jacob and he had done, Grayson still wanted them. Finley didn’t know how to fix this. He didn’t know how to save Grayson, but he had to find a way. Finley couldn’t let Grayson stay on this path of loving people who hurt him. He deserved better. Finley would give it to him. No matter what it took, Finley would fix what he broke. He loved Grayson too much to stop now. Finley just needed a little help. Luckily, he knew just who to ask.
Chapter Eleven
For reasons Grayson didn’t understand, Silas and Benji were having a party two nights in a row. He imagined they were doing a second night because Benji and Silas had missed last night’s party after their wine and pill-popping session. Grayson kind of resented it, though. He didn’t think he could handle another night of being a grownup. His head still pounded from the first night. It didn’t help that he clearly recalled Finley undressing him for bed. But when he had woken up this morning, there was no sign of Finley. He hated how badly he wanted to pretend nothing happened so he could go back to being Finley’s wee one. Life was rarely fair, though. Grayson was well aware of that.