The party downstairs had been raging for more than an hour while Grayson paced inside his bedroom. He knew how many steps the bed was from the door and how many from the door to the bathroom. Boredom set in, driving him half mad. After two hours, he gave in and headed downstairs. The crowd seemed much thinner tonight until Grayson reached the ballroom. That was where the place came to life. The throng was so thick, he had to shove his way through the crowd to get to the playpen. Even though he fully intended to give up playing with toys and wearing baby clothes, he didn’t know what else to do with himself during these events.
When Grayson reached the edge of the playpen, he froze. Finley was inside wearing nothing but a diaper. He ignored the huge flock of men vying for his attention, but it was definitely him. Grayson would know that gorgeous hairy body anywhere. Kage touched his arm, pulling Grayson’s focus away from Finley. He motioned toward the playpen, silently asking if Grayson wanted inside.
Grayson nodded.
Kage helped him over the edge.
When Grayson’s feet touched the floor on the other side, Finley’s chin lifted from the blocks he stacked, and their gazes collided. Neither of them looked away. Grayson’s feet carried him closer. He didn’t stop until he sat across the stacked blocks from Finley.
“What are you doing?”
Finley shrugged. “Proving I’m not ashamed.”
His answer did nothing to clear Grayson’s confusion. “What?”
Grayson stacked another block on top of his already tall wall. “You said you wouldn’t be little anymore, so I won’t be a daddy.”
Grayson felt the line between his eyebrows getting deeper. “But… what?”
“If you want to change, then I will too. I want to be with you, and if swapping roles is what it takes, then that’s what I’ll do.” He lowered his voice for only Grayson to hear. “I wasn’t expecting this much interest in a hairy baby.”
Grayson’s lips twitched. Finley did not look like a baby. He looked like a daddy in a diaper. Grayson had a feeling that was what drew so much interest. “You did this for me?”
Finley nodded. “I know you can’t make someone love you by giving them more of something they already don’t appreciate. You weren’t the weak one. I was. You deserve someone stronger than me, so I am renouncing my daddy status. I don’t deserve it or you. I didn’t appreciate you while I had the chance, so I won’t be a daddy anymore. I’ll find a way to be someone you can love.”
Grayson was beyond moved and he couldn’t even articulate why. Mostly, he saw Finley fighting for him. That was something he couldn’t ignore. “I don’t change diapers.”
Finley didn’t smile like he hoped. “I’m nearly twice your age. We might be at that stage someday.”
Grayson nodded, taking the conversation seriously. “We can circle back to the discussion when that day comes.”
A sexy smile touched Finley’s lips. “What are your thoughts on sponge baths?”
“Giving them?”
Finley shook his head. “Receiving them.”
Grayson’s smile turned shy. His skin felt more comfortable by the second. “Can I have bubbles?”
“Will you wear your footed pajamas afterward?”
Grayson’s smile fell. “I threw them all away.”
Finley bit his bottom lip. He looked guilty. “I might’ve bought you new ones, just in case.”
Grayson fought the happiness growing inside him. He hadn’t forgotten Finley’s abandonment, but he wasn’t unmoved. “I can’t get my cast wet and long sleeves don’t fit very well over it.”
Finley’s eyes screamed his understanding. “Maybe we can circle back to the pjs after you get your cast removed. The bubbles are no problem with the proper precautions.”
Grayson rearranged Finley’s blocks. “What should we do in the meantime?”
Finley held his stare. “Maybe we could play for a little while and then you could spend the night at my house.”
Grayson nodded. “Maybe so.”
Finley didn’t rush him. Grayson appreciated that more than he could say. Finley found more toys and together they played. Grayson didn’t know how much he was ready to forgive or if they would ever be the same, but he wasn’t ready to give up yet. He loved Finley. That wasn’t as easy for him to turn his back on as it was for others. He understood how precious and rare love was. Grayson wasn’t ready to live without it.
For years, Max had been a regular guest at Silas’ parties. Then his twin brother had died, and Max had stopped coming. Without any admissions of guilt, Max knew in his heart Silas was the reason Max’s brother was gone, but then again, David had killed himself, really. He had become so obsessive and abusive by the end that Max wasn’t surprised he had come to a bad end. Still, Max’s anger and hurt had kept him away from these events for a while. Then, one day, he realized he only punished himself. The love of David’s life lived here and worked at these parties. Hanging on to Tommy was a way of hanging on to David. Unfortunately, the more parties he attended; the more Max returned to his old ways. He drank, smoked, and took all the pills. Max didn’t sleep any longer thanks to all the coke. He imagined he would go the way of David soon. Even knowing didn’t save him. Life bored the fuck out of him. Max no longer functioned normally.
He had enjoyed himself more last night while hanging out with the Littles than he had in years. Now he just felt maudlin. Woebegone. Nothing held his interest anymore. He wanted to feel whatever he had felt last night, but with sex. It was like friendship, but he wanted friendship and the dirty stuff. He didn’t know what he needed, but life was missing a certain je ne sais quoi. Max wandered outside to the swings and sat. He rocked back and forth without lifting his feet from the ground. His gaze found the stars. Every second that ticked by, his mood worsened. He felt a presence behind him, but he didn’t turn to look. Nothing appealed to him tonight. He probably shouldn’t have taken the yellow pill… or the red one before that.
“I have a bigger swing in my bedroom. One built for better activities.”
A shiver ran down Max’s spine at the gruff voice behind him. Warmth engulfed him. The scent of orange chocolates—an expensive cologne that was one of his favorites—surrounded him.
“I also have a milking machine and fucking machine.”
Okay. Max was a little less bored. He still didn’t turn to look. Max didn’t care about appearances. He liked them small and big. Short and tall. Older and younger. Tops and bottoms. Max fucked them all.
Hands gripped the chains of the swing and lifted Max backward until warm breath brushed the shell of his ear. “I also have vise grips and a thousand other fun toys. I could make you bleed… and scream.”
Max took a ragged-sounding breath. “I’m in.”
A sexy and terrifying chuckle rumbled against his skin. “Good boy.”
With two deadly-sounding words from a stranger, Max knew he had found trouble. It was just what he needed to keep going.
Even though Finley never expected to get so much attention with his grand scheme, he refused to feel an ounce of humiliation for doing whatever it took to win Grayson. He had spent his entire life trying to do what was right. Since he met Grayson, Finley had made every dumb choice possible. He didn’t deserve Grayson. Grayson should be with someone who treasured his every breath. That person was Finley, and he would prove it.