Did she just want to forget the entire thing ever happened?
Did she wish her first time had been with someone she was actually in a relationship with?
Those were the questions that had been whirling in his mind like sugar in a cotton candy machine.
She’d seemed fine on the drive back to Hope Falls the morning after. But almost too fine. She talked nonstop the entire hour drive, which wasn’t like her at all. She spent twenty minutes listing the pros and cons of buying a new espresso machine. She barely took a breath as she spent half an hour discussing whether or not she should change the logo of Brewed Awakenings before the summer rush of tourists and whether or not it would hurt the brand recognition with return vacationers.
It wasn’t that he hadn’t enjoyed listening to Audrey talking. He could listen to the sound of her voice every minute of every day and never get tired of hearing it. It was just that she never just rambled on like that.
There was a voice in his head that told him she was acting strangely because of his episode. She’d witnessed something no one else had and it had made her uncomfortable. But he told himself that was ridiculous. Audrey was the sweetest, kindest, most empathetic person he knew. There was no way that she would think badly of him because of something that was totally out of his control.
That same voice had also tried to say that she was probably disappointed after spending the night with him. Not because of the night terror, but the actual sex itself. She’d been a virgin for thirty-two years and maybe he hadn’t lived up to what she’d hoped sex would be.
That voice was easier to silence. He’d read her body language and felt what had passed between them. He might have had some issues in that department in the past, but with Audrey everything had been firing on all cylinders. He didn’t think he let her down in that regard.
But maybe after the fact he had.
Should he have bought her flowers?
Or maybe a card?
Did Hallmark make a card that said, “Thank you for trusting me with your virginity. It was the best sex I’ve ever had.”
“Ruff!” Thor barked, demanding to get out of the truck so he could go see Nonna.
“Sorry, man.” Josh shook his head. He’d gotten so caught up in his own thoughts he’d totally forgotten where he was or what he was doing.
He got out of the truck and Thor hopped down behind him. As the two walked up the back porch, Josh couldn’t get over how strange it was that it felt like he’d had Thor forever. Like they’d always belonged together.
“There he is! Il mio bel ragazzo!” Nonna exclaimed calling Thor “my handsome boy” as he came bounding into the kitchen.
Josh never thought he’d be jealous of a dog, but he wasn’t sure how he felt about being replaced as Nonna’s favorite grandchild. Thor was clearly in the top spot now.
“Ahhh! Il mio tesoro!” Nonna patted Josh on his cheek as he bent down to give her a kiss on her cheek. When he did, he noticed that her skin looked pale and she had dark circles under her eyes.
He looked around and saw that she had made spaghetti with homemade sauce and meatballs, a fresh chopped salad, homemade garlic bread, and gnocchi. “You don’t have to do this every week, you know. I could cook or we could order out.”
She waved him away with her towel.
He loved Sunday dinners, but he was concerned it was getting to be too much for her. It was also one of the reasons that she wouldn’t agree to move into Golden Years. The residents had mini kitchens, but there was no way that Nonna could cook the same way she did in her home. He’d offered, more than once, to pick her up every Sunday and bring her to his house to make it, but she refused to cook in anyone’s kitchen but her own.
“Can I help with anything?”
“What is there to help?” she asked. “It’s done.”
Josh grabbed a plate and filled it from the stove. He loaded up on extra garlic bread because he’d forgotten to eat lunch.
When he got to the kitchen table, he saw that it was still covered in papers just like it had been for the past month that she’d been organizing singles week. She’d been working so hard on the project. He’d heard her when he was in the garage and she was in the office on the phone with vendors haggling over prices. She’d even learned how to email, and she’d been pouring over contracts and schedules. He was going to be happy when this week was over and she could go back to just her normal forty-hour work week at the shop, and he hoped he could convince her to cut back on that.
He moved some of the papers to the side and sat down. Nonna filled a plate with spaghetti noodles and sauce which he was happy to see. Normally, she didn’t eat with him because she grazed when she was cooking meals and was never hungry by the time the food was ready. But his happiness was short-lived when he saw her set the plate down on the floor in front of Thor.
Josh knew he was wasting his breath, but still he said, “He shouldn’t eat people food.”
Nonna waved her hand dismissively. He knew it wasn’t worth arguing with her. It was Nonna’s world and he was just living in it.
He twisted his fork in the pasta and had just put it in his mouth when Nonna lowered down in the seat in front of him.
“So, you have something to tell me?!” she asked, crossing her arms.
Josh had no idea what she was talking about. He swallowed and got up to grab a Black Cherry Shasta from the fridge. It was the only ‘soda’ that Nonna had ever allowed in her house.
“I don’t think so.” He sat back down and popped the top.
“So, you don’t think to tell me that you spend the night with Audrey in a cabin?”
He choked at her question and the soda went up his nose. He grabbed a napkin and wiped his face. How in the hell had Nonna found out about that?
Josh knew he couldn’t deny it, but he could present it in a way that wouldn’t give her false hope.
“Audrey had to go to the cabin because Viv needed her to go check it out because the owner wanted to raffle off a getaway there for singles week.” Josh motioned to all the paperwork on her table. “When she was getting ready to leave she realized she had a flat tire, so I took her. Then when we got there the bridge up to the cabin washed out and we were stuck. We had to spend the night. That’s it.”
Nonna was quiet for a moment before asking, “Why?”
“Because of the heavy rains a damn burst and flooded the bridge.”
Nonna grabbed a rolled-up newspaper that she somehow always had within her reach and swatted his arm. She might be in her nineties, but she still had an arm on her. It stung.
“What?” he asked, not sure why he was being disciplined.
“Not why the bridge flood? Why did you drive her up there?”
“She had a flat tire.” Josh was sure that he’d said that already.
“So!” Nonna’s hands flew in the air. “Why you didn’t fix it? That’s what you do! You fix tires!” She pointed her finger at him. “I tell you why? Because you love her! So why don’t you tell her?! Why don’t you make your girlfriend?!”
He did love her. And he wanted to make her his girlfriend more than he’d ever wanted anything else in the world. No, actually he wanted to make her his wife more than he’d ever wanted anything in the entire world. But it wasn’t that simple.