“It’s going to be okay, sweetheart.”
“I know you don’t want to talk about it, Quinn. But we have to. If she’s yours, will you try to give her back to Michelle?”
I stare at Josie. I stare for a long time. “I don’t know. I mean, Sophie’s here. You’re here.” My gaze turns to Amber. “You are here, aren’t you?”
I want to tell her I love her again. Only this time, I’ll make her really hear it. But I don’t get the chance. Josie spits out the pacifier and cries. She’s hungry.
Amber hops out of bed. “I’ll go make her bottle.”
I gather Josie up and take her to her room. “Let’s see, what do you want to wear today?” I sift through the drawer and pull out a new outfit. “How about this one? See here? It’s got lipstick kisses all over it. Amber must have gotten it because she thinks you’re so kissable. You are, you know. Just don’t let all the guys kiss you when you get older. Only the deserving ones.” I laugh. “What am I saying? No one will be good enough for you, JoJo.”
I take off her sleeper and change her diaper, noticing how the rash is almost gone. “I’ll bet you’re feeling a lot better today, aren’t you?” I get the lotion the doctor recommended and rub it on her. “Does that feel good?” She watches my lips as I speak to her. It makes me wonder when she’s going to start talking, and then I feel sad, knowing I won’t be the one to hear her first words. “I hope whoever you end up with is as amazing as Amber.”
I pick Josie up and turn, seeing Amber leaning against the doorway taking another picture. “I love that outfit,” she says.
I chuckle. “Kind of reminds me what I did to you last night.”
“You did kiss almost every inch of me.”
“Stop it. You’ll get me hard.”
“You’re always hard.”
“Can I help it if I have a sexy girlfriend?”
She takes Josie from me. “Go shower. I’ll feed her.”
I kiss both of them on the head and go on my way. I mentally sift through my schedule for the week. The lodge had a group cancel, so no flying for me until the next group arrives. The north stable needs more shingles replaced; I can easily do that. And Maddox asked me to join him at a horse auction, but I can’t remember the day. A big part of the business on the ranch is buying and selling horses. We’ve got a dozen empty stalls he wants to fill. He’ll train the horses and turn them for a huge profit. New horses mean a lot of work for all of us, and I’m only too happy to help. Now that Jon is hopefully gone for a good long time, I can concentrate on my future. I get out of the shower and glance at the bathroom door. The only thing is—I have no idea what that future holds.
Amber is sitting on the bed, staring at something, when I emerge from the closet.
“What’s up?” I ask.
“Sophie brought in the mail. I guess the mailman was outside when she pulled up.” She hands me an envelope. “It came.”
My heart thunders. I look at the letter, knowing the piece of paper inside will determine my future. And suddenly, I’m terrified of the very thing I’ve thought to be true for the last thirty-nine days. I feel in my heart she isn’t mine, but at the same time, I’ve never wanted to be wrong so badly in my life.
“Get dressed,” I say, stuffing the envelope into my back pocket. “We’re not doing this here.”
“We’re not?”
I go into the closet and get a shirt and jeans for her. “Put these on.” She does, then follows me out of the room. “Sophie, we’re going on a walk.”
She nods. She knows what’s in the envelope too. We’ve all been waiting for it for weeks. “Take your time. We’re good here.”
We leave, walk down the porch steps, and head for the arena. It’s where Amber goes when she needs to think. I’ve seen her there more than a few times these past weeks. We pass workers along the way but don’t stop to talk. I lead her to the far end of the bleachers. Merle, one of the assistant trainers, is working with a gelding. We sit and watch him for a minute.
Finally, Amber breaks our silence. “I have to know. Are you still hoping you’re not her father?”
I pull out the envelope and slap it repeatedly against my thigh. I close my eyes. “No.”
I open the envelope but don’t unfold the piece of paper. Amber takes my hand and laces her fingers with mine. I stare at the paper, wishing it had never come.
“One way or another, everything will change after this,” she says.
I shake my head. “Not everything. I love you now, and I’ll love you after I open it.”
“And Josie? Do you love her?”
“Way to sidestep the conversation.”
She nods to the paper. “This isn’t about us, Quinn. It’s about her.”
I pull my hand from hers and run a finger along the crease of the letter. “I never thought I’d love anyone, Amber. And now I love two people.”
She swallows, and a tear rolls down her cheek. But she doesn’t say it. She doesn’t say it back. Maybe she’s as scared as I am to see what’s inside the letter. Or maybe she just doesn’t love me. I look into her eyes. No—she does. I know it.
“Fuck.” I slap the letter against the bleacher. “I don’t know if I can do this.”
“You can,” she says. “We have to know.”
I hesitate, waiting for a sign that I shouldn’t read it. An emergency on the ranch. An earthquake. A fucking asteroid hitting Texas. Anything. But the sign doesn’t come.
So I open it.
And then my heart falls into the pit of my stomach.
Amber covers her mouth to muffle her sob.
My eyes close.
My throat thickens.
I feel sick.
She’s not mine.
“M-maybe the test is wrong,” she says.
I breathe in and then out, needing a moment to compose myself. “It’s not wrong. It’s 99.9% accurate.”
“What if you’re the point one percent?”
“I’m not.”
“But you could be.”
I stand. “Amber. I’m not. I knew it all along. Call it a feeling. Instinct. She’s not mine.”
Her head shakes over and over. “This isn’t the way it was supposed to turn out.”
My arm goes around her. “I’m sorry, sweetheart. I wanted it too. I didn’t even know how much until this very second.”
She looks up at me, eyes pooled with tears. “What do we do?”
“I have to talk to Michelle.”
She pulls away. “Take her back to the woman who abandoned her?”
“What if she’s changed her mind?”
“Quinn, she hasn’t shown up. Hasn’t called. It’s been over a month.”
“But she thought Josie was mine. Knowing she isn’t might make a difference. Michelle has to know. We have to tell her.”
“So, what? We’re just going to pack up all of Josie’s stuff and take her back? Return her like an unwanted shirt?”
“No. You’re right. I’m not simply going to hand her over to be abandoned again. If Michelle doesn’t want her, we’ll find out who her real father is. I’ll hire a PI. If we can’t find him, or if he doesn’t want her, I’ll talk to social services. I promise I’ll do everything I can.” I lift her chin. “She’s going to have a good life. I’ll do whatever it takes to make that happen. I’ll buy her way into a good family if I have to.”