I pull out my phone and text Michelle, needing to get the process started no matter how much it kills me to do so. We sit and wait.
She doesn’t reply.
Chapter Thirty-four
Amber
“You don’t have to come with me,” Quinn says. “I know this is hard for you.”
I shake my head. “I have to be there. I want to be looking into her eyes if she tells you she still doesn’t want her. I want to tell her she should think long and hard about what she’s doing to Josie.”
“She seemed pretty adamant when she dumped Josie on us.”
“But like you said, that was when she thought a rich guy was Josie’s father. With you ruled out, she must have some idea who else it could be. I don’t care how much money he has as long as he can find it in his heart to love her.”
We get into his truck. “I do appreciate you coming along,” he says. “This is hard for me too.”
We’re silent the whole way into Fort Worth. What more is there to talk about? We didn’t tell anyone about the results yet; they’ll find out sooner or later without us having to explain and deepen the wound. I’m sure Sophie knows. The looks on our faces when we went back to the house would have said it all. The way we both rushed to Josie, wanting to hold her; touch her. How I hugged her tightly, quietly apologizing through my tears.
Quinn rests his hand on my leg, and I lay mine on top of his. But we don’t lace our fingers together. Will anything ever be the same?
We arrive at Michelle’s apartment, and he turns off the truck. Neither of us gets out. I’m glad we didn’t bring Josie. I wouldn’t want her to hear the things I’m going to say to her mother. But I can’t even think about what happens after—when we have to go home and pack up her things.
“We can’t sit here all day,” Quinn says. He gets out and comes around to open my door.
I hesitate. “Maybe she won’t be home. What then?”
He shrugs. “We’ll come back tomorrow, I guess.”
“What if she’s on vacation? What if she moved and didn’t leave a forwarding address?”
I get that I’m grasping at straws now. Quinn cups my face with his hands. “Sweetheart, she’s Josie’s mother. We have to find her. She needs to know the results.”
I nod. “I know. I just wish…”
“I wish too.”
I slide out and we walk up the stairs to the second-floor apartment. Quinn appears to shore himself up before he knocks.
The door opens, but it’s not Michelle. “We’re looking for Michelle,” Quinn says. “Is she here?”
The woman’s head shakes. “She’s gone.”
“You seem familiar. Have we met?” He hangs his head. “Oh, Jeez, did we—”
“We didn’t,” she says. “But we have met before, Quinn.” She opens the door wider. “I’m Monica. Come in.”
“This is my girlfriend, Amber.”
Monica gives me the once-over. “Michelle told me about you. Said you looked like you’d be a good mother.”
I try not to cry.
“Will she be back soon?” he asks.
Monica belts out a deep sigh. Her eyes briefly close. “When I said she’s gone, I meant she’s really gone. Dead.”
My eyes widen. “Dead? When? How?”
“Took a bottle of pills a month ago.”
Quinn sits and scrubs his palm over his face. “Well, shit.”
“If I’m being honest, I half expected you to show up long before now.”
“Why’s that?”
“I assume you got a paternity test. And since you’re here, that can only mean one thing: Josie isn’t yours.”
“There were delays. It came back this morning. Wait… if you expected this, you know I’m not Josie’s dad. And if you know, Michelle knew too. What the fuck? Why did she dump her kid on me?”
“We weren’t sure who the father was. We hoped it was you. It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure it out,” Monica says. “You’re rich, and not ugly rich like the rest of your family. She knew you could give Josie a good home.”
“That is so fucked up,” he says. “Money isn’t everything. What about Josie’s real father. Don’t you think he deserves to know he has a kid?”
“Michelle doesn’t know who he is.”
“You’ve got to be kidding me. So she wasn’t only a deadbeat mom who didn’t care enough to stick around for her kid, but she was a slut too.”
“She was raped.”
I gasp. Quinn stands and puts an arm around me as I shake uncontrollably.
“It was the week after you hooked up with her.” She sits heavy on the couch, clearly disturbed. “It was my fault. I met a guy and left her at a bar. She said she summoned a car service. Told me she’d wait right out front until it came. I should have waited with her.”
Sickness washes over me. “Oh my god. The driver?”
“No. Someone got to her before the car came. Pulled her into a truck and took her out to a barn somewhere. We always had each other’s backs. I screwed up and she paid for it. I promised her I’d do whatever it took to make it up to her.” She gets up, crosses the room, and opens a drawer. Then she hands Quinn a wallet.
He seems to recognize it. “You stole my goddamn wallet?” He stares at her. “Of course you did. That’s how I know you. You were all over me like a cheap suit, then you up and left. It was the end of April. Right after Josie was born.”
“Michelle desperately wanted the baby to be yours. Still, she never got over her assault. She wasn’t the same after. Fell into a deep depression. It was four months before she even realized she was pregnant. She said she wasn’t fit to be a mother even if the baby wasn’t from the rape.”
“They never caught the guy?” I ask.
“She never reported it. And I’m not sorry I took your wallet. Michelle needed her to be yours, but at the hospital, they wouldn’t let her put your name on the birth certificate without a notarized letter. We devised a plan. I tracked you down, got your wallet, then found a random guy who kind of resembled you and paid him to show up and pretend to be you.”
“Wow,” he says, pacing.
“Are you going to go to the police?” Monica asks.
Quinn riffles through his wallet. “There’s still a hundred bucks in here.”
“We’re not thieves,” she says. “We were looking out for Josie. Where is she, by the way?”
“At my house. I didn’t want her here when I bit her mother’s head off.” He sits and runs a hand through his hair. He’s frustrated, but I can hardly blame him. This is all so messed up. “I’m not going to call the police. I get how you were doing it for Josie. But I will have to call my lawyer.”
“What’s going to happen to Josie?” she asks. “Michelle didn’t have any family.”
“What do you think is going to happen? She’s going to end up in foster care or some shit like that. I can’t just keep her. She’s not mine.”