Somewhere, things have gone very very wrong. I'm supposed to be protecting my heart, and instead, I've only lost it further.
Chapter 6
The music flows through the room, covering all manner of sins as people flirt and do other things they're not supposed to. I can't say I'm any better than the rest of them. No matter who I'm dancing with, or talking to, I have one eye on the rest of the room to try and find Benedict. He said he's coming, so where is he?
I break from my dance partner, a sweet boy called Edward. He's a decent dancer, but the rumours have it that he prefers to spend his time with men, not women. I hope for his sake that he can.
A hand clasps around my wrist, and I nearly let out a scream before realising who it is.
Instead, I find a smile stretching over my face as I take in Benedict's handsome face.
He holds a finger to his lips. I nod, and go willingly when he pulls me into an alcove and draws the long drapes across it, hiding us from the main ballroom.
"We're going to get caught," I whisper, but do nothing about stopping the current situation.
"I doubt it," he responds. "Everyone is too busy making sure they don't get found out for whatever it is they're doing."
"You think everyone is up to something?" My eyes widen. I know there's plenty of debauchery in court, and if Mother is to be believed, a lot of people having affairs, but it's still strange to believe everyone is up to no good.
"Almost everyone. Whether it's drinking more than their spouse wants, or stepping out with the wrong person." He shrugs. "If anyone even saw us stepping in here, they probably didn't pay enough attention to know who we are, and in case we're friends, they won't pull the drapes open."
"I hope you're right." Because I'm not about to do anything to change how we're standing. He's tantalisingly close to me.
Benedict seizes the opportunity to slip an arm around my waist and pull me closer. I go willingly, pressing my body against his. The forbidden element only makes this more enjoyable.
He doesn't say anything, as he leans in and kisses me. I relax into his arms, enjoying the sensations he brings out in me. It's so safe here. No one is going to hurt me while he's around. I know part of that is wishful thinking. Anyone can pull back the curtain shielding us and cause a world of hell for me. But I don't care. Right now, the world is no bigger than the alcove and the man in front of me.
We break apart, but Benedict leans in and kisses me once on the nose.
I giggle involuntarily. There's something about the gesture that's so sweet.
"Why are you doing this?" I whisper.
"Doing what?" His voice rumbles through his chest, and he's still pressed close enough for me to hear it.
"Sneaking away with me? Aren't there easier girls you could be courting."
It's still possible to make out his raised eyebrow in the dim light. "We're courting now?"
My stomach sinks to the floor. Have I been reading the situation wrong? I'm so stupid, how haven't I seen that he's simply messing around?
"Kitty, I'm sorry, I was trying to tease you, I didn't mean it that way," he says hurriedly.
I bite my lip, trying to stop the tears threatening.
"I promise. I want to court you. I'll court you openly if that's what you want. I'm not doing it with easier people because I don't want to. You're the one who caught my eye then captured my heart with your words."
I snort, even through my tears. "You've only known me for three days," I point out.
"Are you trying to tell me you don't feel the same way?" He kisses my forehead, which is all I need to know he's telling the truth.
"Yes," I whisper, almost too quietly for him to hear. "I don't know what it is..."
"Fate? Soulmates..."
"I don't think they're a real thing." Everything all the books say suggests it isn't.
"Then perhaps we have to make soulmates for ourselves. But meeting you, I knew for certain that I wanted to spend more time with you. And then you said your Father was already collecting marriage proposals, and I panicked, thinking you wouldn't want to court someone out in the open and risk his wrath," he explains quickly.
I chew on my lip, ignoring the press of my fangs. Most of the time I'm in control of them, but sometimes, when my emotions are high, then they spring out and do what fangs do.
Benedict's gaze meets mine. He reaches out and tucks a strand of my hair back into the barrette. It turns out I'm oddly grateful for Mother insisting on tying it back again. She seems to think the best way to send a message to people about my impending wedding. Which is stupid if anyone asks me.
"Why do I feel like this?" I'm still in a little bit of denial about it. I don't understand the way I'm feeling about him, and so quickly.
"I don't know. But I feel it too," he assures me. "And I don't want to stop seeing you."
"Me neither." I pause. "Do you think we can manage?"
"To keep us a secret?"
I nod.
"We can, but I can also put an offer of marriage in to your Father..."
"After only a few days?" I interrupt, hope blooming in my chest.
Benedict chuckles, and my heart skips a beat at the sound. It's a good job I'm already on my way to accepting my feelings for him, or this could be awkward.
"Yes. If it's what you want."
"Please," I respond instantly. "I don't want to have to stop spending time with you."
"Then that's what we'll do," he promises, then presses another kiss on my lips.
A loud noise from outside the alcove breaks us apart. A nervous laugh slips from me as a result.
"I forgot there's a ball going on." I'm not sure how, but somehow it's slipped from my mind.
"It's easy to forget when we're in our own world." He strokes a gentle finger down my cheek. "You know we're going to have to go out there?"
I sigh. "I know. Do you think we can get away with one dance without people noticing we're too interested in one another?"
"I think so," he assures me. "We'll limit ourselves to one dance at balls, but sneak away during them."
I put my arms around his waist and press my cheek against his chest. He wraps his own around me, tightening our embrace. I can feel his body, even through the ridiculous amount of fabric that makes up my gown.
"I hope you don't just want to see me at balls."
He chuckles. "No. I want to see you every day."
"We'll see what we can do," he promises, dropping a kiss on the top of my head.
How is it possible to feel so certain about someone after so little time? It's almost as if I've known him for so much longer.
"But for now, may I have this dance?" He steps back as far as the alcove will allow and dips his head while holding out a hand.
"It would be my pleasure." I place my hand in his. He closes his fingers around mine, sending warmth through my whole body.
He peeks around the drapes, then gestures for me to follow him.
We both exit the alcove, watching to make sure no one sees us. Luckily, it seems as if one dance has ended, and another is about to begin, giving us the perfect chance to mingle with the other people our age and make it seem like we've been dancing the whole time.