“We play in Detroit week after next so I’m going to go to the lab there to give a sample of my saliva or whatever. We’ll know within a few days after that.”
“Are you going to meet her?” Logan asked slowly.
“Well, yeah. Duh.”
Cassie grimaced.
“What?” Ryder asked, frowning.
“You’re setting yourself up for hurt if it turns out she’s not yours,” Logan pointed out.
“I’ve only known about her for a week. I think I’m pretty safe from getting attached in that short time.”
“I think you should be careful,” Cassie said. “Peyton is probably confused and struggling too, so she’s not thinking about your feelings, just what she’s going through.”
“I’m not the one who just carried a baby for nine months and went through labor essentially on my own. I can handle whatever happens. I just want to be there for her.”
Logan cocked his head. “You have a thing for her, don’t you.” It was more statement than question.
“Always have,” Ryder said. “She’s never given me a second thought until now, though.”
“Dude.” Logan grimaced. “I’ve got your back, but you need to be careful. Babies, the woman you’ve had the hots for, another guy in the wings who could potentially make trouble…this is going to fuck with your head. No matter what you think.”
“But there’s nothing I can do about that,” Ryder protested. “The baby is already here. I’ve had a thing for Peyton since the first time I laid eyes on her. And now I finally have a shot. There’s nowhere to go but forward.”
“And if you crash and burn?”
Ryder grinned. “It wouldn’t be the first time!”
4
Newborns were exhausting. Peyton had known that intellectually, but reality was much harder. She was on maternity leave, so she didn’t have to worry about work, but she only had six weeks. At that point, she didn’t know how she was going to juggle a baby who was up all night, raging hormones, finding a new place to live, and no longer having her mother around to help.
Her parents were moving to Europe in two months, for a job her father had been working toward for years. Running the German branch of the company he worked for had been a dream for both of them, since her mother had family in Germany, and now that Peyton and Donovan were out of the house and on their own, they were ready. Except, of course, Peyton’s life had blown up ten months ago and now she was not only living at home again, but a new mom without a partner.
“It’s going to be you and me,” she whispered to Stella as she walked around the living room with her. It was almost midnight and Stella was wide awake, staring up at Peyton with big blue eyes.
Peyton had blue eyes, Troy had brown eyes, and Ryder had light eyes that were more gray than blue, so she hadn’t thought her baby would have the less dominant blue eyes. They were clear blue, so her gut told her they weren’t going to change, though anything was possible. The light fuzzy hair on her head was blond too, so it was kind of funny that she didn’t look like any of her parents.
“Did the stork bring you to me?” Peyton whispered, leaning down to kiss the baby’s soft forehead.
Her phone buzzed and Peyton reached for it as she continued to pace.
RYDER: You up?
PEYTON: Of course I’m up. You don’t think Princess Stella is actually sleeping at night, do you?
RYDER: Sorry?
PEYTON: Yeah, yeah.
RYDER: How’s things otherwise?
PEYTON: I’m freakin’ exhausted, but we’re both healthy, so that’s something.
RYDER: I’ll be there in eight days. I’m renting a car in Columbus and driving out to you after the game on Thursday night. Friday is supposed to be a travel day but I want to be there so I can spend time with the two of you, get the DNA test done, and all that. We play in Detroit on Saturday, so I’ll turn in the car then. Can you come to the game?
PEYTON: I don’t know. I don’t want to bring Stella to a hockey game, she’s still too little, but my mom would probably watch her for me.
RYDER: I’m looking forward to seeing you again.
Peyton hesitated. As much as she liked Ryder, this whole situation was complicated at the moment. Until she knew for sure that Ryder was Stella’s father, she had to keep her emotions in check because if Ryder wasn’t her father, he was going to disappear.
PEYTON: I’m looking forward to you meeting Stella. She’s pretty cute.
RYDER: Will your parents have a problem with me crashing on your couch when I get there? I can get a hotel room, but I want to spend as much time with you guys as I can.
PEYTON: Not at all. Mom and Dad love you.
RYDER: They’re not mad about this situation we’re in?
PEYTON: That you ostensibly knocked me up? No. They want you to be the father.
RYDER: No one seems to like Troy at all.
PEYTON: No one. Not even me. You have no idea how much I wish I’d broken up with him sooner.
RYDER: I can imagine. We all do dumb shit when we think we’re in love. Believe me.
PEYTON: Yeah, well, letting your boyfriend get away with hitting you is about as dumb as it gets.
RYDER: He hit you?!
Peyton squeezed her eyes shut. Telling Ryder about the things Troy had done to her was humiliating, but at the same time, it felt good to get it off her chest.
PEYTON: I never thought I’d be that woman, who let a guy get away with that shit, but here we are.
RYDER: No wonder your brother hates him. I figured there was more to it than the fact he has the personality of a dishrag.
PEYTON: I really don’t want to talk about Troy. I’m sorry. Thank you for worrying about us, but I’m not up to talking about him this soon after giving birth. And definitely not via text.
RYDER: No problem. But I’m here if you ever need to talk. Okay?
Peyton sighed. She’d lied about her relationship with Troy to so many people, for so long, it was hard to tell the truth. The difference was that Ryder’s only interest in it was Stella’s safety, and that was different than talking about it to her friends and family. It felt comfortable with Ryder. Like he was someone she could trust without worrying about his reaction.
PEYTON: Thank you. You have no idea how much I appreciate it. I’m not ready to talk about him yet, but I’ll let you know when I am.
Stella finally dropped off to sleep about eight thirty in the morning and Peyton was torn between sleeping too or doing a few loads of laundry and checking email. She’d been completely immersed in all things baby-related for the last two weeks and though she loved Stella, she needed a little intellectual stimulation too. She was on maternity leave for six weeks, but it wouldn’t hurt to check email and keep up with some of what was going on.
“If you want to take a nap,” Mom said, brushing past Peyton with the laundry basket, “I’ll take care of Stella when she wakes up.”
“I was going to do a load of laundry first,” Peyton said. “I’m checking email and then I’ll go lie down.”
“You should rest when you can,” Mom said.
“I know, but you’re not going to be here in a few months and I’m going to have to do it all.”