Ryder grimaced. “I want to do anything I can to help, but I can’t stay up all night when I’m on the road. I have to rest.”
“Don’t worry. I’ve got this. You can get up with her in the morning if she falls asleep late.”
“How, uh, how do your parents feel about me?” he asked slowly.
She smiled. “They adore you and spend every night praying to the ghosts of all Christmases past, present and future that you’re her father.”
“So I won’t wake up to a shotgun barrel?”
“Nah. That’s not my dad’s thing. If anyone was going to get in your face about it, it would have been Donovan. But he loves you, so I guess it’s unanimous.”
He wanted to ask her if that included her but figured it was way too soon for that. Peyton seemed tired and a little skittish, but he was so damn happy to be there with her and the baby.
My baby.
Our baby.
Just thinking it made him feel warm and a little fuzzy.
Knock it off, he told himself sternly. You don’t know anything yet.
It was so hard not to fall in love with Stella now that he’d met her, especially since he already had unclear but intense feelings for Peyton. A few weeks ago, parenting hadn’t been anywhere on his radar. The last woman he’d dated hated his dog, so he’d dumped her pretty quick, and since then, there had been a few dates, a little sex, and Peyton. It had only been one damn night, almost ten months ago, but he’d had a thing for her for over a year before they got together that night. She’d had a boyfriend but he’d hoped they would break up so he would get a chance with her.
Then the opportunity fell in his lap.
She’d been upset about the breakup but there had been more to it than that.
Now he wanted to smack himself for not realizing that Troy had been abusive. Had he hit her that night? Was that why she’d left with nothing but the clothes on her back? In retrospect, he should have dug deeper. He and the guys who’d gone to the apartment with her should have noticed that something was off.
Despite how good it had been to sleep with her, now he felt a little guilty. She’d been vulnerable and he’d unwittingly taken advantage of her. She was a grown woman, of course, and it had been consensual, but she’d just broken off an engagement, so he should have known better.
Of course, then Stella might not be here and he was already falling hard for the towheaded baby.
He wanted to show Peyton he was ready, willing, and able to be a good father and maybe an even better boyfriend/partner. He couldn’t rush, though. He’d done that last time he had a chance and wouldn’t make the same mistake twice. This time, he needed to show her the kind of man he was and let her see how good it could be between them.
It wouldn’t be easy with him in Alaska and her in Michigan, but the first thing they had to do was get a paternity test done. That was the first hurdle. If he was Stella’s father, it would be a lot easier. If not, he wasn’t sure what the hell he was going to do.
6
Having Ryder here at her parents’ house was as awkward as it was wonderful. There was no doubt he was crazy about Stella, her parents loved him, and they got along so well. The problem was not knowing if he was Stella’s father. Until they had those test results, she couldn’t let him get too close. Not to Stella and definitely not to her. It was more about Peyton than Stella because Stella wouldn’t know any different if Ryder disappeared next week, but Peyton had already pushed Ryder away so many times. This would probably be the final straw and the last time she saw him, so she refused to allow herself to feel the things she wanted to feel.
Peyton was going to lose no matter what happened. If he was Stella’s father, then she would never know if he cared about her or if he was only coming around because of the baby. If he wasn’t, then he was gone without a backward glance, so her feelings wouldn’t matter anyway.
She’d always thought he was gorgeous, sweet, and the kind of guy she could fall for. If she was single. But she hadn’t been. And she’d been burned by a hockey player before, so she’d always steered clear of Donovan’s friends. Ryder was different, though, and that night when he, Sergei, Miikka, and Logan had helped her get her things from the apartment she’d shared with Troy, she’d needed someone to make her feel again. To make her forget the things Troy had done to her. To make her feel safe.
So she’d seduced him and this was the result: A big fucking mess that would keep him out of her reach forever, whether he was Stella’s father or not.
“I can get tickets to the game tomorrow night for all of you if you have a sitter for Stella,” he was saying as they ate dinner the following night.
“I’m sure Auntie Lindy would watch her,” Mom said, glancing at Peyton. “I’d love to get to a hockey game.”
Peyton nodded. “I’ll call her. She’s been dying to get her baby fix, so I’ll see if she’s available.”
“Just let me know,” Ryder said.
Stella started to whimper and Ryder was the first one out of his seat, going over to the bassinet where they’d put her so they could eat.
“Hey, pretty girl, you want to sit with me?” He lifted her expertly now, after less than twenty-four hours, and brought her to the table. He sat back down, with Stella in the crook of his arm, and continued to eat like it was the most natural thing in the world. Stella seemed perfectly happy to sit with him too, even though she was rarely content to just sit like that while Peyton ate.
“Already a Daddy’s girl, huh?” Peyton’s father chuckled.
“I’m trying.” Ryder grinned at him.
Peyton finished her dinner and excused herself to start cleaning the kitchen. It was nice to do something that wasn’t baby related for a few minutes, and it was even nicer to get away from Ryder for a few minutes. He was just too damn nice. And hot. And oh-my-god, the sex. Her head swirled with memories of that night whenever he was in the same room.
She’d had good sex before, but not with Troy and not in a long time. Everything about that night had been magical, but Peyton was a realist. Good sex didn’t mean shit once you were done, and she had too much on her plate right now to deal with anything emotional. Especially not with the guy who’d literally haunted her dreams since the first time they’d met. She’d had to go out of her way to be bitchy around him so no one would ever know how much she liked him. She’d struggled with it last Christmas because she’d known then that things with Troy were going to end, but she’d felt guilty about being so attracted to a man that wasn’t her fiancé.
“You okay, Peyton?” Her mom came into the kitchen with a handful of plates and Peyton automatically started rinsing them to put in the dishwasher.
“I’m good. Just a little tired.”
Her mother, Gina, shook her head. “You’re so stubborn. Why don’t you just relax and enjoy his company while he’s here?”
“To what end?” she murmured. “So I can miss him that much more when he’s gone?”
“So you do like him!”
Peyton rolled her eyes. “I swear, you’re the worst,” she said.
“I just want you to be happy, and I’m worried now that your dad and I are going so far away.”