I walked past him. ‘I’ve changed my mind.’
‘You’ve changed your mind or you’re fucking someone else?’ he yelled.
I turn my back to him so he won’t see my tears.
‘It’s over, go. Disappear.’
‘I’m not leaving until you tell me what I have done wrong!’
‘You’ve done nothing wrong. It’s me.’
‘Bullshit. There is a reason. I want to know. I have every right to know.’
I wiped my tears away and took the ashtray from the table.
‘Goodbye, Abdel.’
I stomped to the bedroom and shut the door.
I stood in the middle of the room, holding my stomach as if I were in great pain. I heard him move about, throwing something against the wall; heavy footsteps cross the hall and a slam of the door that makes the flat shake.
Chapter Thirty
Her expression in this clip is serious. She pushes her long waves away from her face and her eyes fall to the floor. I place the mug on the table. There is shaking then, a crashing sound as the screen slides sideways. All I can see are her bare feet. There is a long silence. I jump when she screams, almost inhuman.
***
Lottie’s Recordings. Clip twenty
‘I can’t believe I fucked up my life to make a total fool of myself!’ she roared.
***
A vase drops on the floor by her feet. I stare at the screen in horror. This woman wasn’t Lottie; she’s not the sweet, good-natured girl I once knew. This is someone else, a demon possessed who looked like Lottie.
***
‘I knew it was too good to be true. Why he wouldn’t be with me? That son of a bitch tricked me!’
***
She paced up and down, stepping on the broken glass. My face goes white. Why she didn’t reach out to anyone? Blood is dripping off her feet; it leaves bloody footprints as she paces in front of the laptop and keeps stepping on the glass, pressing her feet on purpose.
***
He needs more time. The fucking twat, you know, what he told me because I say you jump, you go and do it? Miserable git! I scared Lilia when she found me crying in the bathroom this afternoon. If I’d told her, she would give me the answer that I didn’t want to hear. I will get him where it hurts. I’ll show him I’m not someone to be fucked with.
***
Show him? What the hell did she do? By now her obsession had exacerbated. If she didn’t have Davian, she’d find ways to fuck him over. The more I find out, the more disturbed I become. I lie in the dark smoking, hoping sleep will come. My body is resting but my brain refuses to shut off. Sleeping hurts, but I’m tired. So I lie in bed, waiting for sleep and creating scenarios in my head. What if I show Davian these clips and he sees her ghost emerging from the laptop to haunt him? He’d be terrified. He’ll insist she’s a liar. Would she get into this trouble to create fiction? No, they’re both liars. I have to get to the bottom of this and find the truth.
When Lottie and I reconciled, it didn’t look like something was wrong, that she was harassing Davian as he put it, or she was having a passionate affair with him as she’s stating.
‘What have you been up to?’ I asked her after I told her where I had been and the places I had seen.
‘Oh, nothing much. Abdel and I are over again.’
‘Why?’
‘Oh, life,’ she said. ‘He’s not someone I want to be with.’
‘Not someone you want to be with?’ I asked her. ‘And who you want to be with?’
She looked at me then. ‘I see myself with someone who’s passionate and in control.’
Someone passionate and in control. Someone like Davian. Was it here she was planning to bring him down? Why would Lottie want to own a gun? I didn’t think she would waltz into a gun shop and buy one. Where did she get it from? I’d very much like to know.
Another thing that bothered me was Lottie didn’t give a shit about Melissa. To her, Melissa was the enemy; she had no regard for her feelings. How would Lottie have felt if someone did the same to her? Someone who took her man and didn’t give a flying fuck about her feelings.
The more unreachable and unavailable Davian was, the more her desire expanded. Lottie thought Davian had this exciting life; she would have been disappointed. He hardly went out. He locked himself in his flat and buried himself in work. He went out for an exhibition; if he could, he would avoid that as well. She wanted him with all of her might. Lottie would have lied and cheated; to have him was all that mattered. She treated the situation as if Davian were a beautiful and exotic accessory. Her love was unrequited. Davian loved another and Lottie couldn’t stand it. She was too demanding and clingy to give him the space he sought. That neediness was what would put him off in the first place.
Chapter Thirty-One
The sound of the buzzer explodes in the room. I go to the window to check who it is. Davian. I unplug the laptop and place it inside my backpack. As I turn, the bag falls on the floor and my heart stops. The last thing I need is to break the laptop when I’ve made it this far. I pick up the bag and the photograph Davian had given to Lottie drops to my feet. I pick it up and flip it over. The buzzer makes me jump. I shove the photo in the bag along with the laptop.
Davian looks better. His eyes are still red and puffy, though the hair is back to its former glory.
‘I was about to make a cup of tea. Would you like one?’ I ask.
‘Coffee,’ he says.
I go to the kitchen and fill a kettle of water. Davian sits on the kitchen table and lights a cigarette.
‘Melissa came.’
‘She did?’
‘Yes, for her stuff. She left. For good.’
‘I’m sorry.’
‘Yeah. Me too.’
‘Have you heard anything else from the police?’
He stares into space as if he’s thinking about something.
‘Not yet. You know what DC Gallagher told my lawyer? The way the gun was positioned on the floor, how it was found, the shot was from a close range. Still, something doesn’t add up.’
‘She told that to your lawyer?’
‘She did.’
‘Why would she?’
‘I don’t know, but apparently, they found marks on the furniture in Lottie’s apartment.’
‘Is your lawyer sleeping with the policewoman?’
Davian smiled.
I made a cup of tea for me and coffee black with two sugars for him.
‘There is something I have to tell you.’
I placed the mugs on the table. I search his face, but he gives nothing away.
‘I haven’t been completely honest with you and I should have,’ Davian begins.
The silence stretches and lingers in the room while I sit there with aching muscles, waiting for him.
‘It’s about Lottie.’
I swallow my dread. ‘What about her?’
He lowers his head and takes a deep drag from his cigarette to buy himself time. He casts me a look full of sorrow and despair and that’s when I know. Lottie wasn’t lying. She wasn’t making stuff up. He’s the liar.
‘You son of a bitch,’ I hiss, my fists smashing down hard on the table. ‘You lying, cold, vindictive son of a bitch!’