The two of us coordinated our college applications and went off together that fall to Berkley. By junior year, we’d broken up. He wanted to date other people but I only had eyes for him. I ended up taking a sabbatical and traveled for a few months before coming home and working for my dad until the following school year when I transferred to USC.
I pull into our drive slowly, taking in the majestic pines surrounding the house. The sky is dark and looks like it’s going to storm soon. Stacks of wood are arranged neatly on the porch. I’ve never been more thankful for the town firewood delivery program.
The need to stretch overpowers my nostalgia. I open the car door and take a deep breath of pollution-free air. If I weren’t so damn afraid of that mountain, I’d consider moving up here. My parents left me enough to sustain me for a few years, even without a job. If it hadn’t been such a rough year, would I still feel the same relief as I do right now?
Time to do what I came here for and then I can head back to the store for some necessities before it rains.
I jog up to the front door and open it wide. The familiar scent of cinnamon and spice wafts out of the house and hugs my senses. I’m surprised it’s so strong considering we didn’t refresh the air fresheners over the summer.
After propping open the door, I head back to the car and open the passenger side. Unbuckling the seatbelt with care, I hug the urn and walk slowly to my parents’ bedroom.
Placing them on the table in front of the room-length window, I open the curtains and momentarily admire the view of the lake. Every morning they’d wake up slowly and sip coffee at this table in their favorite chairs. Their ritual was to connect with each other before connecting with the world. This was their all-time favorite place, and this is the view they deserve for eternity.
Blinking away tears, I step back and close the door quietly. This is their time to find peace. I’ll say my goodbyes after the holidays. Unlike the past few months, this is a good kind of sadness. It’s the closure we all deserve.
Chapter Two
KARA
A light sprinkle starts on my way back from the store. I’m glad I took a few moments to unload the car and call Donna before shopping. I’ve got groceries for the week, enough wine for a month, and all I need for a charcuterie board tonight. I can’t wait to sit by the fire, listen to Christmas music, and unwind.
A car is parked in the driveway, and my stomach lurches as I pull up next to it. There’s only one person who would stop by. By the time I exit the car and pop the tailgate, the door to the car opens and Ben steps out.
“Kare bear, I’ve missed the hell out of you.”
Goosebumps spread across my skin—not the cold-weather kind either. His voice is the same—a little more mature—and it’s still the sexiest sound on the planet. I’ve never understood why I feel such a connection to Ben, but it’s not something I’ve ever been able to replicate with another man. Maybe that’s for the best. Losing him was the second greatest pain I’ve ever experienced, right behind losing Mom and Dad.
“Don’t call me that. You lost that right years ago.”
I reach into the trunk to unload my groceries as his car door closes with a soft thud.
Good. Hopefully, he’s leaving.
I’ve got three bags balanced precariously in my arms when he reaches out and takes one.
“Excuse you!”
He ignores the venom-laced tone and grins.
Thunder cracks, and the light sprinkles become a downpour.
“Let me help you; it’s the least I can do. Besides, your bags are going to tear before you get inside.”
“Fine, but then you go.”
I race inside with two bags as he follows with the last three. After putting the bags on the kitchen counter, I reach for a hand towel and wipe the rain from my face. I move to pass the towel to him when it dawns on me that neither of us are wearing masks. Pulling the towel back, I reach for a clean one and toss it to him after stepping back a few feet.
“Don’t worry, Kara, I’ve been up here three months and the only person I’ve seen is Earl at the market. I’m safe. I wouldn’t risk your health.”
As much as I dislike him, the information relaxes me.
“Same, except it’s been more like six months for me.”
Ben’s shirt clings to his skin, outlining his six-pack. He’s in better shape now than he was in college. His blue eyes shine as he runs the towel over his curly brown hair, and I long for the days I used to run my fingers through those curls.
“What brings you to town?” He leans against the counter and sets the towel in front of the microwave.
“You know, the holidays as usual.”
He looks around and nods. “Are your parents coming soon?”
“Uh …”
Ben chuckles. “It’s not a complicated question. Unless you’re here with someone else?”
My heart races as he glances down at my ring finger.
Stop, Kara. He doesn’t care about you anymore.
And even if he did, he doesn’t get to break my heart again.
“Follow me,” I whisper and lead him to my parents’ room. After turning on the light, I point to the urn on the table. “They got sick about eight months ago. Died minutes apart in each other’s arms.”
“Kare bear, I’m so sorry.”
A few tears escape and slide down my cheeks. “Thank you.”
I flip off the light and head back to the kitchen with Ben close behind me. As I unload groceries, wipe them down, and put them away, he watches me in silence. Instead of asking him to leave, I wait, although for what, I’m not sure.
Ben clears his throat. “Can I help with anything?”
The only thing left is the bottle of wine I’m about to uncork. “Like what? Drinking the wine?”
A smooth smile spreads across his face. “I’d love a glass of wine. Thank you for offering.”
“You think you’re so slick. Just be honest with me, Ben. Why did you come here?”
“To talk, make amends, try to right the wrongs of our past.”
With a sigh, I pass him the wine and the opener. Thunder shakes the house and the lights flicker. “Open the wine and let it breathe while you start a fire.”
“Deal.”
This is going to be interesting. Ben is the last person I want to spend time with, but it feels really nice to have the company of someone else. Even if it’s him.
Chapter Three
BEN
The first time I saw Kara we were thirteen. She’s just as beautiful now as she was then. My mom was pissed because I wouldn’t stop playing video games long enough to go outside and make some friends. She’d finally had enough and took my games away. I walked over to the lake and stopped in my tracks, barely able to catch my breath. It felt like I’d been tossed inside a magazine photo shoot. Kara was walking out of the water, body glistening in the sun, and looked like she didn’t have a care in the world. When she caught me staring, her big brown eyes locked on mine. I thought for sure she’d be disgusted by me but her ensuing smile was so warm and welcoming she felt like a long-lost friend.