Back then, I was self-conscious and extremely shy. My oversized glasses covered a good portion of my face and my braces didn’t help my case in the slightest. I was small for my age, but we fit well together since she was too. Kara didn’t cringe at my looks or ignore me like other girls did; she treated me like any other person. Without her, I’m not sure I would’ve gotten past my gawkiness. I don’t think she knows how special she is. Kara’s always had a heart of gold and I was a fool to let her go.
I stack the wood in the fireplace while she prepares a large charcuterie board. I light the fire and adjust the logs a bit until it catches well. After closing the screen, I step back, momentarily enjoying the heat.
Kara brings in the food and bends over, placing the platter on the coffee table. She gives me a onceover as she straightens her posture before averting her gaze.
“Can I help you with anything?”
She shakes her head. “I’ve got it.”
As she pivots and walks back into the kitchen, I admire the view. Kara’s ass is as stellar as always.
Kara returns with two wine glasses and the bottle I opened. She pours some into each glass and hands me one before taking a seat.
“Go ahead and take a seat, Ben.” She pops an olive into her mouth.
“Are you expecting anyone else?”
“No, why?”
I motion to the tray of food as I sit on the sofa. “Seems like a lot of food for one.”
Kara shrugs. “It’s dinner and I haven’t eaten much today. Plus, it doesn’t seem like you’re eager to leave. I’m not cruel enough to make you starve.”
She’s nearly finished with her glass of wine and refills it while eyeing me skeptically.
“Thank you for your hospitality.”
“Okay, drop the small talk, Ben. You’ve never been one to beat around the bush, so why start now?” Kara passes me a plate and makes one for herself.
“Would you rather I start with the big questions? Fine. Why did you ghost me, Kara? You left school, blocked my number, ignored my friendship requests on social media. Didn’t I deserve more than that? Didn’t we?”
Dammit, I wasn’t going to go there, but even after six years she still knows how to push my buttons.
“Wow, you’re still the same egotistical ass you turned into in college, aren’t you? You were the one who wanted to break up and date other people. You broke my heart, remember? Now you have the audacity to act like the injured party?”
Fighting with Kara is the worst. Her cheeks flush when she gets worked up. It’s the same look she gets during sex. I know it’s bad but it’s hard to separate the two. Fighting with Kara always turned me on, and now is no exception. She’s only gotten sexier with age.
“We were kids, Kara. We weren’t even old enough to drink but we were talking about marriage and babies. I got scared. Hell, you should’ve been scared. You heard the words ‘date other people’ and you lost your damn mind.”
She tucks herself into the corner of the couch. “Damn straight, I did. I wasn’t afraid of love, Ben, you were. My parents met when they were freshmen in high school. When you know, you know.”
“Mine also met in high school and were divorced by the time we were graduating high school. I didn’t share the same faith in love as you. I couldn’t, not when my family was in shambles. I was terrified we were making the same mistakes.”
“Well, now we know, don’t we?” Kara pops an artichoke into her mouth and refills her glass again. I finish my first glass and take the bottle from her so I can pour some more.
Leaning back on the couch, I kick my feet up on the table. “I knew within a few days it was a mistake. After a few weeks, I was positive I’d fucked up. I called your friends and family and they all said you just needed time. That you’d call when you were ready. Fuck, Kare bear, I’ve still got the same damn phone number.”
She gasps and closes her eyes. “Why are you here, Ben? What do you want from me?”
“A second chance, Kara. I promise I won’t mess it up this time.”
Chapter Four
KARA
“I’m sorry, I don’t think I heard you correctly.” This wine is hitting me harder than I thought. Did Ben just ask me for a second chance?
He places his wine on the table and scoots closer to me. “If you heard me ask for a second chance, you heard me correctly.”
“Why?” My whispered words are barely audible over the thumping of my heart. “Why now?”
“Do you want a list, Kara? I can give you one.”
He can give me a list? Yes, please, I want to hear it all. I nod so I don’t say something stupid until I hear him out.
“I miss you. I’ve never felt for anyone the way I did for you. It’s not just love. It’s something greater, deeper, and it’s hard to explain, but it’s bigger than me, than us. I’m a better person when I’m with you. Without you, my entire world is dim.”
Wow, it’s like my very own animated greeting card. “Go on.”
“I broke up with you so we could be sure. To know the bond between us couldn’t be replicated with someone else. I didn’t want to be my parents. I wanted to be better. I wanted to be your parents. Without breaking up, I couldn’t know for sure. It was wrong, and it didn’t take me long to figure it out.”
He pauses and leans forward, lacing his hands together. When he looks back at me, he looks distraught.
“Kara, you will never know how sorry I am for everything. For breaking your heart, breaking my heart. I wrecked our plans and screwed up your education. We lost six years we can never get back, but …”
“What, Ben?”
His eyes meet mine and all the pain begins to melt away. This is my Ben, the boy I loved, the man I wanted to marry.
“It’s the holidays. If there was a time for second chances, shouldn’t this be it?”
“Is that why you’re here? Were you staying at the cabin so you could run into me?”
Ben scoots a little closer, and his pinky grazes my thigh as he grips the edge of the couch cushion.
“Maybe? My dad had internet installed up here a couple of years ago. When my job went online and people started getting sick, all I wanted to do was get away. I hadn’t come back here since we broke up, but being alone for so long, with the pandemic … I needed to go somewhere that made me happy.”
“And you came up here? You’ve never liked this place.”
I’m tipsy and have no problem calling him out on his BS.
Ben cracks a grin. “All of our memories were made here Kara, and the only place I wanted to be when I was feeling so alone was where I could feel closest to you. I figured this was a better alternative than trying to camp out somewhere on the Berkley campus. Besides, once you left school it wasn’t my happy place any longer.”
Internally, I’m freaking out. Externally, I’m just trying to keep my breathing even and my expression neutral. Next year is supposed to be a better year. Letting Ben back into my life after the pain he caused me seems idiotic.
“We don’t even know each other, Ben. We’re not kids anymore.”