He hooks his pinky through mine and squeezes. It reminds me of our first summer when we pinky swore to meet up the following year. How can such an innocent gesture make me want to forgive him?
“You know me better than anyone, Kare bear. You always have.”
“I won’t argue that we knew each other best until we were twenty, Ben. We’re twenty-six now—we’ve grown up. To assume we haven’t changed is a bit naïve, don’t you think?”
He sips his wine, and all I want to do is taste it on his lips. Ben has amazing lips, but I don’t really want to kiss him, do I? It’s got to be the wine and lack of sex getting to me.
“All right, let’s catch up. I’ll go first. Senior year, I was accepted for an internship at an architecture firm that started after graduation. Three years later, I got my license and was hired on at the same firm. I’m living and working in the Los Angeles area and I love my job.”
Wow, he did everything he set out to do.
“Did you build your dream house yet?”
Ben places his empty glass on the table. “Nah, there’s no point. The biggest part of my dream isn’t with me.”
He will not romance me back into his arms.
“No girlfriend?”
His stunning blue eyes meet mine and it’s like no time has passed. It was always this way with us when we were younger but after everything that’s happened, it shouldn’t be so easy.
“I’ve dated off and on. Work kicks my ass most of the time. I enjoy my downtime too much to put effort into dating. Besides, my heart has never really been in it.”
The wine is empty and that simply won’t do.
“Excuse me, I need to use the restroom.”
After a quick trip to the bathroom, I stop off in the kitchen for another bottle of wine. Ben is standing at the fireplace holding a photo of us taken the summer before we left for college. He seems like the same Ben I’ve always known and loved. But that’s also the Ben who broke my heart. Who’s to say he won’t do it again?
He turns and looks right at me. “Uncorking a second bottle. Is it getting a little too intense for you?”
“Not in the slightest. This is the first time I’ve relaxed in months. Even if the conversation is a bit heavy, this is the lightest I’ve felt in ages.”
And it has nothing at all to do with the fact Ben is here.
Keep telling yourself that, Kara.
Chapter Five
BEN
“I guess somethings have changed. I remember when you hated wine.”
She nods as she refills our glasses. “That changed when I went to Italy. I made friends with a Sommelier who gave me a crash course in finding good wine.”
“When did you go to Italy?”
“After I left Berkley. Mom and I went to Rome, Paris, Italy, and Greece. We had the best time. She returned home, and I stayed a few extra weeks in Italy. When I came back, Dad and I helped build some houses with Habitat for Humanity and then I worked with him until I started at USC.”
Of course, she had a life without me, but it stings to hear about her adventures.
“You didn’t waste any time doing all the things we planned, did you?” Dammit, I shouldn’t have said that. Being argumentative isn’t a good path to reconciliation.
“Life waits for no one, Ben. I’m thankful every day for that time with my parents. I guess, in a way, you did me a favor. If we hadn’t broken up, I’d have never gotten the experience.”
“I’m happy you had that time with them. What about after college?”
“I’ve worked at a few different non-profits, done a lot of grant writing, and volunteered with different causes that are important to me. When the pandemic hit, I was let go from my most recent job, but I think that was a sign because it allowed me to have extra time with my parents when it mattered most.”
Her eyes fill with tears, but she blinks until they disappear. I can’t imagine how difficult this year has been for her.
“So, what now?”
She pulls a knitted blanket into her lap and runs her hand across it.
“Try to enjoy the holidays. My tree is being delivered tomorrow and I’ll play the rest by ear. I didn’t visit this summer and it gnawed at me, but I wasn’t ready. Now it’s time to leave this year in the past and hope for a better future.”
The fire crackles and fills the silence between us. There are so many things I want to ask her.
“Just say it, Ben. Whatever’s on your mind, get it out into the open. Who knows, this may be your last chance.”
“Are you dating?”
“Not currently. I got out of a long-term relationship about a year ago.”
I swallow over the lump in my throat. “What happened?”
Kara shrugs. “He just wasn’t the one.”
“How do you know?”
Our eyes meet, and it feels like no time has passed at all.
“The same way I’ve always known. I’ve tried a few times, settled for less, hoped the spark would ignite, but it never does. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve had some hot sex, but sex is superficial. My body needs a deeper connection for love.”
I shake my head and groan. “Kara, I don’t need to know about your sex life.”
She laughs, and I can’t believe how much I’ve missed that sound. “Please, Ben, we’re adults. I’m sure you’ve had your fair share of good sex.”
“I may have picked up a few tricks.”
She inches closer. “Is that so?”
“Kara,” I lean in, “I want to kiss you.”
“I …”
“What, Kare bear?”
“What if the spark isn’t there anymore?”
I slip my hand behind her head and thread her hair through my fingers. “What if it is?”
“If it’s gone, we drop this. You go home and we go back to our lives.”
“If it’s still there, we spend the holidays together. I’ll come over tomorrow and decorate your tree with you.”
“Deal–”
The instant the word leaves her lips, my mouth is on hers. Time disappears under the bond of our connection. She nips my lip with her teeth and opens to me. As our tongues meet, she sighs softly into my mouth. She tastes of Cabernet and heaven. With a good grip on her hair, I tug her head backward. She gasps at the sudden shift, and my mouth descends to the nape of her neck.
“Ben.”
One ragged word escapes her lips before I thrust my tongue back into her mouth and kiss her relentlessly. Kara squirms until she’s lying beneath me with her arms around my neck. There’s no way she can deny what we had is still there.
Our kisses slow, and when she cups my cheeks and places one final soft kiss on my lips, I open my eyes. Her lips are red and swollen, and I want to make it my mission to keep them looking like this for the rest of our lives.
“Ben,” she whispers breathlessly. It’s the sweetest fucking sound.
“Yes, Kara.”
Her eyes flutter softly before she looks back at me.
“What time are you coming over tomorrow?”
Chapter Six