“Sometimes. Today was just landlord-tenant issues. No big deal,” I teased.
He chuckled before answering, “We used to have our own landlord-tenant issues. Speaking of, we never got together to discuss negotiating your new lease.”
“We should do that with all of my partners present, especially if we’re doing this.” I gestured between us, meaning to say we were dating, but unable to say that word out loud.
“Right. Of course. Let me know what works for you.”
“We should take care of it soon.” I was so wrapped up in him, I’d neglected to handle something important, not only to me, but to my friends, the firm. I had to remember at the end of the day, there was only me. I had to do what was best for me when everything inside me wanted to care for him.
“Of course.” He was quiet for a few seconds, finishing his burger. Then he said, “You know, you can trust me. I’m not going to kick you out at the end of the lease even if we haven’t come to an agreement.”
“You can’t possibly promise that.” I felt like I was saying this to him all the time, but it was true.
“Why not?”
“You just can’t.” Promises were empty. I’ll be home by dinner. I’ll be there for parent’s night. I think they tried harder after Mason left, but when every promise goes unfulfilled, you learn not to trust them.
“I know we have a long way to go, but I hope you believe me when I say I wouldn’t do anything to harm you or your firm.”
I stared at the table between us, my face hot. “I want to trust you.”
“It’s a start, but I hope you let me in, Avery.”
“I am. More than anyone else.”
His lips were drawn into a tight line. “I know this thing between us is new and different for you, but the basis of any relationship is trust. I know it won’t be easy, but I’ll prove to you that you can trust me.”
I nodded, because my throat was too tight to speak. We finished eating, talking about lighter things, the firm’s progress, our upcoming plans for Kids Speak. All too soon, it was time for him to leave, he interlaced his fingers with mine as we walked back through the office, past Dylan and Hadley’s raised brows. I knew they’d have questions for me.
He tugged me out the front door onto the sidewalk. “Thank you for lunch.”
I tilted my face up to him. “I should be the one thanking you.”
He leaned down, kissing me, longer and deeper than when he greeted me. This time I swayed toward him until my body was pressed against his. He pulled his lips from mine, leaning down to whisper into my ear, “I look forward to seeing you tomorrow.”
“Me too,” I said as he released me, turning toward his car.
I focused on the tingling from his lips, wanting to memorize the feel of his lips on mine. I watched him until he slid into his car, pulling out into traffic. When I entered the office, sifting through what just happened, Dylan and Hadley stood in the reception area.
“What was that?” Dylan asked as soon as I walked inside.
“He brought me lunch.” I hoped stating the obvious would diffuse her interest.
“He kissed you in front of us,” Hadley added.
“He did.” I walked past them, hoping they wouldn’t follow.
“Are you guys dating?” Dylan asked.
When I reached my office, I sat at my desk. “You know, we haven’t discussed what we’re doing. We hang out, we talk on the phone, he brought me lunch. We’re spending the day together tomorrow.”
I caught the look they exchanged in the doorway to my office, a mixture of surprise and pleasure.
“You like him,” Hadley said.
“I wouldn’t hang out with him if I didn’t like him.” I sat at my desk, wondering why their questions bothered me. Was it because I didn’t want to share what we had or was it something else? I shifted at the uncomfortable idea that I might want to put a label on us.
“I don’t think I’ve ever seen you with someone like this.” Dylan sat across from me.
“Like what?”
“In law school, we barely knew when you were dating. You didn’t bring guys back to the apartment often,” Dylan said.
“I always met them at their place or out.” After Wes, I wanted a clear separation, one I worked hard to keep. No overnights. No visits to my apartment. That way when we broke up, no one could show up at my door, there were no memories of us at my apartment.
“Why though? Whenever I asked, you acted like it was nothing.” Dylan’s brow furrowed.
“Maybe because it was nothing.” Before the words were out of my mouth, I realized what I’d revealed.
“This thing with Griffin is different,” Hadley said.
“It is.” As soon as I’d made the decision to be honest, the words tumbled out of me uncensored. “I’m worried I’m going to screw it up. I’m not wired for this. I don’t have feelings for guys. I don’t eat lunch at work with them, much less kiss them.”
“This is good,” Hadley said.
I tilted my head. “How is this good? He’s got me all tied up in knots. He’s got me wondering if I’m his girlfriend.”
“Aw, you have feelings for him.” Dylan smiled at Hadley.
“You make it sound cute, but it’s not. It’s messy and complicated. It has the potential to destroy everything.” All of my worries I’d kept pressed down erupted between us.
“It doesn’t have to be messy or complicated. Not if you take things one day at a time. Tell him how you’re feeling. Don’t bottle it up or pretend he doesn’t matter when he does,” Hadley said.
“It’s so hard.”
“If you’ve never done any of those things then it will be hard, but each day it will get easier,” Hadley said.
“I hope so. Right now, I’m all over the place. I try not to think about him, but it’s impossible when he’s calling every night, showing up at work. Then we’re spending all day together tomorrow.” He was everywhere as if his plan was to overwhelm my defenses. Anticipation thrummed through my veins at the idea he was pursuing me.
“What are you doing with him tomorrow?” Dylan asked.
“He has a surprise planned for the day with Declan. Then we’re going out at night. I have no idea what to wear.”
“That’s it. Friday champagne conference night in my closet,” Dylan said.
“You’re right. Dylan’s closet. She has better clothes, shoes, and—”
“Style. That’s what you were trying to say.” Dylan smiled widely.
Hadley nodded. “Right. Style.”
“Sound good?” Dylan asked me.
I was happy, content, and excited for tomorrow. “Sure. I can use all the help I can get.”
I hadn’t been to Dylan’s new house since she moved in when it was filled with boxes. Once we moved out after law school to separate homes, we didn’t hang out as much until she approached me about the firm.
It was within walking distance on one of the more secluded side streets. The ones with window flower pots, wrought-iron railings, and fountains in the rear gardens. I always wondered why she needed a roommate in law school when it was clear she came from money. Maybe deep down she was as lonely as me.