“Thank you for your generosity. We should probably look at the lease agreement too.” I flipped to the last page of the lease, scanning until I saw the underlined figure, looking up at him in confusion, a low buzz started in my head, making it difficult to focus. “Griffin. This is barely more than we’re paying now. I don’t understand. I thought you wanted more money for the space.”
His gaze was steady on mine. “You’re just starting out. You can use that money for the firm or to get Kids Speak off the ground. I don’t need the money. I don’t want to be that ruthless business guy anymore, not with people I’m involved with.”
He was a shrewd businessman. The only reason he was giving us a deal now was that we were in a relationship, because we were sleeping together. “I don’t like this.”
“Avery, be reasonable—” Dylan started.
I ignored Dylan, addressing Griffin. “No. You’re donating to Kids Speak and giving us a deal because of our relationship, aren’t you?”
Griffin’s lip set into a straight line. “You could choose to look at it that way or you could say you believe me when I say I want to help.”
Hadley stood, leaving her laptop. “I’m going to grab some waters. Dylan, can you help?”
I could practically feel Hadley’s brow raise as she spoke to Dylan, silently communicating, but my eyes never left Griffin.
Uncomfortable tension filled the room when they left.
“I don’t like this,” I repeated, remembering the moment when the dean at school called Wes and me into her office to tell us someone reported our relationship. How easily Wes denied being with me, how he accused me of pursuing him, then rejecting my unwanted advances. My stomach dropping, my head pounding, I couldn’t make sense of him like I couldn’t make sense of Griffin’s motivations.
“You made that clear.” A muscle ticced in his jaw.
“What if you change your mind? What if we break up?” Panic skirted the edges of my consciousness, making the ground unsteady.
“If you sign it” —he pointed to the signature line— “you know it’s a legally binding contract.”
“This lasts what, a year? If we break up, there’s a chance you’d raise the amount to something we couldn’t afford when the term ends. I’d rather negotiate an affordable amount now, so we know what we’re getting into. I’d rather you treat us like any other tenant.” I needed to get on even ground fast.
“Is that what you think of me?” He looked at me then, his eyes furious, his muscles tensed.
“Yes. No. I don’t know. Isn’t that the point? We don’t know each other, not really.” In the end, Wes had done the unthinkable, he’d stepped back, denying he’d ever felt anything for me. His words threatened everything I’d worked so hard to build. I’d trusted him. I thought he loved me, but I was wrong. I didn’t want to make the same mistake again.
Griffin stood, his face a mix of barely concealed anger and frustration. He leaned his hands on the table, his face close to mine. “We do know each other. I know you are looking for any reason to leave, to break up with me. We don’t work unless you trust me.”
My face flushed hot. It wasn’t that I couldn’t trust him, I couldn’t trust me.
“We can’t be anything if you don’t trust me not to hurt you, Avery.” His softly spoken words, my name on his lips, was intended to appeal.
It was working but I couldn’t be fooled by sweet gestures, promises of money, and the care in his tone. If something happened, he’d protect himself. I stood, wanting to work off my restless energy. “This isn’t about that.”
“Then tell me what it’s about.” His voice was measured, dangerously low.
Panic filled me, I couldn’t tell him the truth. I grasped for something more tangible, something that would make sense to him. “It’s about you changing your mind when this ends.”
“Because the end is inevitable, right? There’s no way you could imagine us making it. You setting aside your fucked-up notions of what a relationship is or could be, to let us just be. If you let yourself feel what’s inside.”
I flinched when he said fucked-up. “I thought that’s what I was doing.”
We’d been living in this sweet spot. The honeymoon period of a relationship where everything was great. We hadn’t weathered any storms or maneuvered any difficulties. How could I be sure of how he’d react when we did?
Griffin’s actions were catapulting us faster to our conclusion. His expectations were too high. One of us would screw things up, step over a line, expect too much. Then it would be over.
Griffin was quiet, studying me, his shoulders rigid, his jaw tight.
“What do you want from me?” I asked, knowing he’d already told me.
“You know what I want. I want you. Not the woman afraid to take chances or put herself out there.” He slapped the table. “I want the one who’s been with me the last few weeks, getting to know me. The one Declan looks up to.”
My heart squeezed at the mention of Declan. I’d let myself sink into their lives more each day thinking I could pull myself back from the edge.
Looking at the pain on his face, I knew he hadn’t done the same. He’d opened himself up to me, the possibility of us. “I’m sorry. I’m not capable of what you’re asking.”
“You don’t want to try.”
“Mixing business and our relationship makes me uncomfortable. I would think you would understand. You went into business with a friend. Look how that turned out.” I knew it was a low blow but I felt like I was running full steam ahead into a fire. I couldn’t back out now. I had a split second to make a decision. Once made, it was too late to turn back.
He blew out a breath, resting his hands on his hips. “I should have known better than to bring you into my life, into Declan’s. You were always up front with me. We were never going to amount to anything. You’re playing at a relationship, playing house with Dec and me, but we don’t mean anything to you. You were always going to walk away.” The last words were said with conviction.
I shook my head, my eyes filling with tears, regret already filling my chest. “No, that’s not it. I have feelings for Declan and you.”
“It’s not enough. I want you to be in this as much as I am.” He gestured at the contract still laying on the table. “That’s the lease. You can sign it today or any time before the original lease ends and I’ll honor it. It doesn’t matter to me if we’re together or broken up, I want the firm to be successful. I want Kids Speak to get off the ground. That’s how much I love you.”
I sucked in a sharp breath, his admission hitting me like a punch to the gut, tipping my chest forward. Before I’d recovered from the force of his words, he was gone. Leaving me alone. I shivered in the chilled air, wrapping my arms around myself, sinking into the chair, the edges of my vision blurred.
“Are you okay?” Hadley asked. “That sounded intense.”
I waited until my vision cleared, until the heat of anger pushed any feelings of hurt away. I stood, gathering my things. “He said he’d honor the contract. You can sign it. I’ll gather what he needs for Kids Speak.”